Baking my own cake

[AndrewP]

I have been following your threads. I'm not sure if I've ever posted because I never know what to say to help.

I will say one thing, I HAVE to learn how to make carrot cake. I know what you're saying is a metaphor, but it's by far my favorite kind of cake, and from what I gather it really isn't a "cake" in the traditional sense.

RDS - You've come to call a couple of times and I've always appreciated your visit.

Even though doodler will probably do this better than me - here goes....

2 cups flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp cinnamon
2 cups sugar
1 1/2 cups vegetable oil
4 eggs
3 cups grated carrots (I use the blender)
1 tsp vanilla

Combine flour, baking powder, cinnamon and sugar. Add oil and blend. Add eggs, one at a time, beating after each addition. Add carrots and vanilla, blend well.
Bake in a 13X9" pan at 350 degrees F for 1 hour.

I usually use a standard icing sugar frosting which I prefer to the cream cheese version that most people use.

There's another recipe that I have but I can't put my hands on it at the moment and quite possibly it's sitting on a shelf 3 blocks away. This one I've used a few times. You can also pour the batter into muffin cups and make cupcakes too.

We'll get through together this thanks to community, love and fresh baking!

[CT1118]

I have been following your threads. I'm not sure if I've ever posted because I never know what to say to help.

Hey dude, speak up more often, not everything said on other threads here is to help others, speaking up is real for ourselves. AndrewP is Canadian anyway, so English is hard for him to follow - you can say whatever you want and he won't understand.

AP - great thread title:

I have no clue at all as to the details of what she's up to other than that the A continues and she still sees some of the friends that were enabling her in it. Rumour has it that she is stressed and struggling. Reality is that I'm stressed and struggling but trying to put a brave face on it to the world. I've been essentially non-communication with her since she left letting her travel her own path while I try to find mine.

More like strong and sticking it out than stressed and struggling. One fist in front of the other my northern friend. Traveling your own pathways is good, does not mean they will not intersect. Rumor has it that Nero played a fiddle while Rome burned, but the city got rebuilt. Three blocks away is a short walk to come back home.

[Luv1589]

Dear Andrew,
Good for you making something delicious yet semi-healthy, wink wink . Well there are carrots in it right ? The only time I have turned on the stove since my husband left is to make no bake cookies for my neighbor as a thank you for a bouquet .

[doodler]

I usually use a standard icing sugar frosting which I prefer to the cream cheese version that most people use.

In addition, you can color some if the icing orange and green and decorate the cake with little orange carrots that have green sprout tops. Decorative carrots add to the presentation value as well as the nutritional value (I wish) of the cake.

[cat04]

Andrew,

I started to do this yesterday and got sidetracked...

That sometimes happens...especially to me

First I want to apologize for the obscenities posted on your thread. That word...on any level, is a huge insult to the entire female population. And is just generally offensive in and of itself. I find it hard to believe that scuk is censored but that word is actually fully out there in that thread not once but four times...(hey mods....I think we have a problem) It is generally not something that happens around here as most of the posters have a bit more discretion than that.

Here's the thing...

I think there are some people that you were very short and dismissive with that were not the correct people to direct your frustration at.

The vets, and you are posting with one of my favorite in MLC, are not here to be offensive. (Hint...time posting and number of posts doesn't necessarily mean someone is a vet.) We may be very direct at times and sometimes a person isn't ready to hear what we have to say and sometimes they may not be ready UNTIL they hear what we have to say, but it is not done with bad intentions at all. We have all been there and done that. Sometimes we do forget what it feels like to be so raw. That is a good and bad thing about passing time.

Sometimes, especially when something stings, it is better to step back and look at it in little increments instead of simply lashing out.

On that topic, when someone posts so disrespectfully, as that poster did, you do have the option of simply using the Notify button at the bottom right of the post and let the moderators handle it. That is what they are here for.

So let's really try to get you back on track...

Not to beat a dead horse...but I did notice you mention that your W was always concerned that you "don't back down" from things. Is that an area where maybe you do need to work on with yourself? Is it something that you see maybe as a problem? Reactivity? Or is it something you have under control?

We all get to where we need to be in our own time. Remember that. People can try to push, and often that makes us resist more and change takes longer. We will change when we are ready. And that is ok.

You said there isn't much you want to talk about...

I have an awesome cranberry muffin recipe if you like cranberries...

Just a thought...

[Cadet]

On that topic, when someone posts so disrespectfully, as that poster did, you do have the option of simply using the Notify button at the bottom right of the post and let the moderators handle it. That is what they are here for.

Not to correct cat04 whom I love like a sister, but the NOTIFY button is not actually working anymore.

At least not for me.

So if you need to get a hold of me best to post on one of my threads stickied to the top.

[AndrewP]

cat04 - Thank you for stopping by and your kind words.

Not to beat a dead horse...but I did notice you mention that your W was always concerned that you "don't back down" from things. Is that an area where maybe you do need to work on with yourself? Is it something that you see maybe as a problem? Reactivity? Or is it something you have under control?

Good question. Yes - it is (generally) very much under control. I try to pick my fights carefully but tend to see red and react when anyone speaks poorly of my W. I think that my "stubbornness" only caused conflict in our M about 3 times none of which were in the last 15 years. None of those involved more than raised voices and in one case me running for political office (lost by 12 votes).

I do worry a lot that W seemed to be scared of me. I've rarely even raised my voice to her even during this journey and those were in the context of "what does he have that I don't" - which I retracted as irrelevant and "why are you still here" which she never answered. On one occasion she said "you must really hate me" - which I denied. Later she told me that hate and love were based on the same feelings and she felt that I could hate her (I still don't).

I try not to mind-read (any more) but the fact that I didn't follow the script she had written for me and throw her out on her @ss, that even when the cheating continued that I kept treating her with respect and courtesy that and other things I believe have confused her a lot.

Generally speaking I feel that I am a kind, loving soul with a soft spot for kittens and those in need. W also has a similar soul (somewhere).

[cat04]

On that topic, when someone posts so disrespectfully, as that poster did, you do have the option of simply using the Notify button at the bottom right of the post and let the moderators handle it. That is what they are here for.

Not to correct cat04 whom I love like a sister, but the NOTIFY button is not actually working anymore.

At least not for me.

So if you need to get a hold of me best to post on one of my threads stickied to the top.

You can always correct me

Just remember i have no problem telling you if i think you're wrong. Lol.

[cat04]

Ps...thanks for working your magic.

[AndrewP]

@!$# - no edit button.

For the record - prior to her A I never felt that W was in any way afraid of me at all which is why this is significant to me and will be something that we'll have to work on if she ever turns my way again.

While I have this post open just a bit of minor journaling.

- D24 and her H have arrived safely in their new home. I've sent them flowers. It was weird only sending them from "Dad". There have been multiple postings on Facebook from them about their journey and their excitement to which I've reacted. No clue if they've been getting similar love and support from W but I haven't seen it (not looking ...).

- Some of the others here who like doing the evil laugh like I do will do a "bwa ha ha" because Tuesday I realized that our Netflix account was still attached to W's email address. As part of my severing ties with /detaching from her and out of a concern that she might cut it off I changed it to mine and updated the password to one we commonly use for joint things related to money. I accidentally (honest!) didn't un-check the box that said to log out everyone so she now no longer has NetFlix. It turns out you can check usage and she only used it once in the last month so probably no big deal. I resisted the urge to send her a note about the new credentials but did let S22 know.