I think you need to stop looking into H's phone. You know he's involved (to a certain extent) with skank and he's lying. He is acting wayward and confused. Is there any reason why you would want to put yourself through the heartache of additional info?
Intel helps to further your cause but further snooping only tears you apart. For now, you have to treat him as wayward unless he proves himself otherwise.
Save yourself the heartache, dear friend.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
If it's of any comfort to you, your WH sounds like there's enough human in him to feel the horror and shame of what he did to you. I don't know when and he may not tell you, but I just feel that when he gets his head back from the body snatchers and he grows up (and I hope he does both), the shame and guilt will eat him up.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
Grl, you are right. On the times I've lost it and told him he would regret walking out on me he's answered "yeah you're probably right but maybe then I'll learn". And maybe then it will be too late *rolls eyes*
I have a day off work today, so took my exhausted ass out to get my eyebrows threaded. Makes me feel a tad more human. Got a few projects to be working on too l so concentrating on that. After seeing my little pea of a baby yesterday, it hit me. Although tiny, this little person has a heartbeat. It's incredible. And my job is to try and protect this baby and my other baby and be their lighthouse and shower with love. I can't control h's behaviour towards me, or anyone else. And he's quite frankly a ticking time bomb. Toddler is old enough now to sense when something isn't right, which means he's ultra clingy towards me and mil. So we are giving plenty of love and keeping things normal as possible for him.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Barely saw h yesterday. When I did, he uttered few words.
Now the nausea is a bit more in control, I can do a bit more with my day other than hug a toilet. Thinking of going on a shopping trip for treats. Might look for some more killer flats. As much as I love my loubies- heels are not a great idea for a pregnant mami!
Toddler is playing up at the moment, wether he senses all is not well or he is under the weather I can't tell. All I know is it's hard work and I'm tearing my hair out!
Feeling a bit more like I have a plan in mind. And with that I mainly mean focusing on myself and just leaving him to it- like I'm stepping back and watching from a distance. Last time, everything crumbled down in h's little world. A r based on lies and deceit is pretty much l doomed to start with.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Some loubie follies strass I think for a touch of sparkle I think.
Perhaps that's it, maybe kids also have a second sense about these things.
I think we could upgrade or downgrade him to a teenager. It certainly feels that way! I do hate the anxiety that comes in waves. Ordinarily I'd get up and do something. But currently feeling very nauseas and dizzy so snuggled up with toddler and watching nemo. Not the best parenting but hey we all have these days. I know the anxiety should subside the more detached I become. But I need to get me to that place and I feel quite a way away from that yet!
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Sometimes he just seems to want to prod at r talks. We eat I come up, he follows me up. I watch some tv, he half watches. He then asks have I sorted ic appointment for him. I said no, I wasn't aware he wanted one (I bit my tongue from asking if he wants a d from me, why on earth would I run round doing things for him. ) he then asked why was he going to see one and how would that affect "our situation ". I said that's for him to decide- he told me last week that he feels he suffers with mental health issues and struggles with urges to self harm.
Incidentally, his LL is acts of service. But then he surely can't have that from me AND want a d from me?! Is this cake eating, or should I do things for him knowing it's his LL.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Cake eating with a side of man baby. I did make my WH's IC appointment after he specifically asked me to do it with our (possible) future MC. However, if he were still in the A I would have refused. Your WH needs to actively do these things himself. For your detachment and mental well bring you need to focus only on you and the kids.
M 10yrs T 13yrs BD #1Oct 2015-PA between WAH and COW BD #2 April 2016-WH resumed PA, she broke it off Jan 2 2017 WH says he wants divorce April '17-Letting go 2018 D busted DD8, DS6, DS3
Just catching up and a quick drive by, Miss Cherry!
So wonderful to hear about the tiny little heartbeat you saw.
I have no such kind words for your WH. He is a fool.
((((((((((Cherry))))))))))
H: 44, Me: 45 Married: 20 y Together: 25 y no kids Walk away: 12/15 Asked for temp separation 12/25/15 PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had) H filed for D 5/16
