Separation of assets usually happens at the end of the divorce and since you have small kids, don't you have to wait at least 6 months until the divorce is finalized in your state?
Her Ls are pushing for us to put the house on the market now, and she wants to move out with the kids now to a rental. I don't know why they can't wait til after separation of assets and mediation. But she is pushing for it now. And I got a letter from my stupid Ls saying they freaking AGREE with her Ls - we should sell the house and divide bank accounts now. We have not even begin mediation yet! I have the worst Ls. Why are they just agreeing with this madness. Once bank accounts are split and house is being sold - I am DONE. What amount of PMA and DB will be able to turn that back? Nothing. We will be locked into a path.
Me-45, W-37, T-10 yrs, M-9 yrs D -7 yrs, S-5 yrs BD-5/3/16, D filed 6/8/16
That sounds very strange! Are her lawyers and your lawyers trying to get you to sell your house for cheap so that they (the lawyers) can buy it and screw you over?
That sounds very strange! Are her lawyers and your lawyers trying to get you to sell your house for cheap so that they (the lawyers) can buy it and screw you over?
I sent them a very angry email when they advised me that they think I should just DO what my W and her Ls are asking and sell the house now, before mediation. Why is this? I asked. We haven't even started mediation and you are asking me to liquidate my largest financial asset? Maybe I want to keep the house, regardless of what happens. Maybe I want to live thre myself. They told me - lets meet next week and discuss this so I will get their rationale about why they are giving me such stupid advice.
Me-45, W-37, T-10 yrs, M-9 yrs D -7 yrs, S-5 yrs BD-5/3/16, D filed 6/8/16
I would just say, ok, let's put it for sale but I want to sell it for a lot of money and I am not going to lower the price! That way the house will stay on the market for years. I understand splitting bank accounts so that there is no risk that one of you takes out all the money without the other one permission.
Another thing that you can do is to buy her out. You can give her a certain amount of money while you keep the house. I am sure the kids are emotionally attached to the house and they will be thankful to you to preserve it for them.
Why can't we just freaking just slow this traing down for one week and sit down and talk this out instead of our GDAM L's telling us what to do? Why can't we just sit down and have a heart to heart about all of this madness? I've worked so hard to keep it together and to try to make it right by her. I don't get one freaking conversation about this stuff.
Me-45, W-37, T-10 yrs, M-9 yrs D -7 yrs, S-5 yrs BD-5/3/16, D filed 6/8/16
We talked and spent double the amount of time debating how we are going to remodel our kitchen cabinets than we are now about destroying our entire life.
Me-45, W-37, T-10 yrs, M-9 yrs D -7 yrs, S-5 yrs BD-5/3/16, D filed 6/8/16
I agree. Buying time is a good thing to do. Just don't do it because you are still hoping to live together with your wife in that house, she will see that and it will make you look weak and needy I think. Try to think financially, not emotionally.
Why can't we just sit down and have a heart to heart about all of this madness?
What benefit do you think this will have? Your messages suggest that you think that by slowing it down, you will be more able to reverse it. That you will be able to "talk some sense into her".
Here's a secret: nothing is irreversible. You arent any less likely to R just because the process moves quickly. You sell the house? Thats not a death knell - did having the house keep your M in tact? Why would being without it prevent you from reconciling?
Imagine a animal that has been caged seeing freedom. How does holding on tighter to that animal cause it to react? It will just make it struggle harder.
Let her go, QT. The faster she gets away, the faster you have a chance to recover.
