Almost 10 weeks since she said she didnt love me

[Vanilla]

Ready for a plot twist.

She wants to separate after moving job.

Natus

Big big hug

That's unexpected

Let it unfold in time and look after you

V

[JksD]

(((Natus)))

Take care of yourself. You may have to be prepared for the fact that her quitting her job is a smokescreen.

[Natus]

Was filled with so much dark and anger past two days then saw Vanilla's Post about anger on another thread.

Brought it all to the gym yesterday. First time tried lifting while on a fast, no food or water from 4am so a good 12 hours fast before lifting. Must have been the anger but i was blowing through the lifts. A little thirsty but felt strong, just made sure to pace myself. I was surprised that afterwards no side effects of lifting fasted, i felt good and found the next 2 hours waiting to break the fast easy.

Looking forward to lift again and add more activities.

[JksD]

Keep on keeping on Natus!

[PsySara]

I am proud of you, brother. May Allah swt rewards a thousand fold for your endurance and strength during this Ramadan.

[Natus]

So im not sure what to make of this.

Yesterday W came home from work, we were chatting just mundane stuff when she suddenly thanked me for letting her go to dinner the previous night with her girlfriends that a lawyer. The lawyer friend is also a friend of mine and also one of my kickboxing students. She herself had recently gone through a divorce due to her H's multiple As, she knows about our sich and hopes we can get back together.

So after thanking me she gets teary eyed and starts saying she had no idea how much her going to work was hurting me,she thought it was just another day going to work. Then through tears she offered to go to MC with me. I felt she was genuine about it and she looked remorseful. This was completely out of the blue, we werent even having an R talk.

Surprised, I didnt even validate very well. All i could say was "eh, we dont have to rush it" i did manage to cover and say thank you that means alot.

I think she is still on the fence and conflicted because she isnt sure if she can love me again. I guess this is a tiny step forward, she understands now my apprehension when she goes to work even though only 12 more days to go before she moves.

After everything im afraid to be hopeful. Im just going to go gym, do my thing and see how things unfold.

[Natus]

Oh and just to give the story some spice.

My brother employed a shaman to take a look at our sich. Where i am from hexes and curses by your enemies or scorned friends / families are not unheard of.

Here is to some voodoo woodoo.

[PsySara]

I uh....wouldn't bring in a shaman, they're haram.

Remember, don't believe a word they say and only half of what they do. She will say some of the most bizarre/extreme things and the next minute/day will swing in the other direction. Like Sandhi said, she is in withdrawal and likely acting out because of it. Step back and let her flail.

[Natus]

True about the shaman bit SadSare. It was my brother who sought him out. I didnt even meet him although my brother is relaying the things he sees.

Im too numb by now to hope anyway. I guess i will just go into observing mode for awhile and try to keep my neediness in check. While I definitely want her back in the relationship i want her to choose me. Not the life, the M, the whatever comforts or safety net or codependency the M brings.

[doodler]

Natus,

I hope you're feeling better today. If your wife suggested MC, then it sounds like you might be making progress. I understand what you mean when you say you want her to choose you; I think that's what most of us are looking for.

I miss the smiley face girl. Can you send her my way?