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Interestingly enough yes, she has gone NC with OM but in her head its only temporary. I know that for sure cause i hear her discuss it on the phone with a GF.


Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 1,965
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Oh...

(((Natus)))


You can call me Dory/ Grl.

As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"

It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
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Maybe you could try getting sandi? She's good with sitch like yours


You can call me Dory/ Grl.

As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"

It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 436
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So i talked it over with my IC. According to him shes likely been telling her close friend for weeks or months she wants to leave me. So its likely she is just carrying on her story. Like what is she going to do, completely 180 and tell her friends we are going to work out.

IC suggest not to put too much weight into her words. Great, just when i thought i can add it to the fuel for detaching.

Shes in my head today in a big way.

On other news im making more friends in the office, they are all females though cause i am the only guy. Smoking hot chick comes by a draws a smiley face at my desk every day now. Its become her thing, she has a dedicated piece of paper stuck to my table where she adds a smiley face everyday. I've been careful to not be too friendly though. Just polite and pleasant. Still its nice but also makes me a little sad that its not my W.


Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 3,952
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Originally Posted By: Natus
On other news im making more friends in the office, they are all females though cause i am the only guy. Smoking hot chick comes by a draws a smiley face at my desk every day now. Its become her thing, she has a dedicated piece of paper stuck to my table where she adds a smiley face everyday. I've been careful to not be too friendly though. Just polite and pleasant. Still its nice but also makes me a little sad that its not my W.


Well, day-um Natus! I think I'll be sticking a smiley face paper to my desk.

But, there has been a woman stopping by my desk on a daily basis. She says "hi" to me and empties my trash. I'm thinking she must like me, otherwise why would she empty my trash? She's a tad homely and about 20 years older than me, but I'm not yet divorced so I'll have to wait I guess.

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Doodler! Stop it! grin

Natus, isn't it cr@ppy that somehow the spouses can't see the good in us that others see so easily? Then again, which side of ourselves do we usually show our spouses?

Yes, do be wary of smiley face girl. This is how x's A started with his colleague. Not from smiley faces (I dunno but I don't think so), but from a willing and sympathetic ear (or ears).

And Natus, what have you been wearing or not wearing in your office? wink Dude, you need to try harder to mask your attractiveness!


You can call me Dory/ Grl.

As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"

It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 3,952
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Originally Posted By: JksD
Yes, do be wary of smiley face girl. This is how x's A started with his colleague. Not from smiley faces (I dunno but I don't think so), but from a willing and sympathetic ear (or ears).


Natus,

Don't listen to JksD. I live my life vicariously through you and I think I'm in love with smiley face girl. Can we have a little flirtatious chit-chat with smiley face girl? Please?

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Originally Posted By: JksD
Doodler! Stop it! grin

And Natus, what have you been wearing or not wearing in your office? wink Dude, you need to try harder to mask your attractiveness!


I have been leaving the top button of my shirt open past couple of days, i wonder if that could be it.

[quote=doodler
Natus,

Don't listen to JksD. I live my life vicariously through you and I think I'm in love with smiley face girl. Can we have a little flirtatious chit-chat with smiley face girl? Please? [/quote]

Haha i dare not open my mouth save for a few pleasantries. I've been married 11 years, im pretty sure i dont got game.


Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 436
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Had an R talk last night.

It went well, too well that im back to being confused again.
She re-iterated that she is doing all she can to make sure OM is not in the picture at all but right now she has to because of work. She will move office in less than 20 days.

Im just wondering why all the effort if shes telling other people she wants to end the M.

The R talk was pretty much us validating each other, she didnt speak up when we had problems, i didnt notice etc. She realises now how her behaviour of just shutting down and not saying anything, expecting me to minread contributed to the demise of our M.

I told her i havent shut the door in us (im not sure if that is right DB) and she seemed to be more than okay with that.

We ended the talk quite light and made plans for the next day being the start of ramadhan and all that. I have never been religious before but i find myself looking to god nowadays.

This will be the first time since childhood i am going to attempt to fast. Interestingly enough the W announced she will fast too. Took me completely by surprised. So i guess we are fasting together for Ramadhan.


Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 1,965
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The positives:

Good validatoon in the R talk.
W taking steps to cut off OM.
W aware that door is kept ajar.
W starting to show the same religious convictions as you.


But please remember Sandi's rule about believing none of what they say and half of what they do.

Take note of the positives then file them away. Be cautiously optimistic.

You are confused because W is confused. 2 confused persons in a R is not good. 1 confused person in a R trying to mindread another confused person is an exercise in futility. Don't go there.

Some questions:
Who initiated the R talk?
Are you taking steps to show W that while you are keeping the door ajar, you are also becoming a better man and moving ahead with your life?
Did you keep the first few buttons of your shirt unbuttoned? wink


You can call me Dory/ Grl.

As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"

It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
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