Question for you all... I have now yet implemented "full blown LRT", feel I've been on the edge and waiting for the right time (it might be now, it might be been last month...)
With that in mind.... Is it okay to drop a "babe" or "hun" following a response to her text, comment?
Ie, her: hey, I have to pickup a few things for a party, I won't spend much. " me: no problem, babe. Pick ya up something nice!"
Is this okay or should I stray away from this verbiage? I've avoided it for almost two months now with no noticeable loss or gain, and curious what some of you all have to say?
Question for you all... I have now yet implemented "full blown LRT", feel I've been on the edge and waiting for the right time (it might be now, it might be been last month...)
With that in mind.... Is it okay to drop a "babe" or "hun" following a response to her text, comment?
Ie, her: hey, I have to pickup a few things for a party, I won't spend much. " me: no problem, babe. Pick ya up something nice!"
Is this okay or should I stray away from this verbiage? I've avoided it for almost two months now with no noticeable loss or gain, and curious what some of you all have to say?
Question for you all... I have now yet implemented "full blown LRT", feel I've been on the edge and waiting for the right time (it might be now, it might be been last month...)
With that in mind.... Is it okay to drop a "babe" or "hun" following a response to her text, comment?
Ie, her: hey, I have to pickup a few things for a party, I won't spend much. " me: no problem, babe. Pick ya up something nice!"
Is this okay or should I stray away from this verbiage? I've avoided it for almost two months now with no noticeable loss or gain, and curious what some of you all have to say?
betterm,
I had to reread the LRT section of DR to answer your question. I think calling her "babe" or "hun" could be considered pursuit behavior. From the WW's perspective pet names may create additional anger in the same way that saying "I love you" causes them anguish. Based on that, I'd say don't call her "hun" or "babe." However, winch or tart might be suitable.
But, I'm terrible at DB; I'm more of a box and tape guy. So, always get a second and third and fourth opinion because doodler's DB methodology stinks.
So last night was interesting, I went to a festival during the day that started around 3. Hung out all day, went to dinner afterwards, arranged for the care the dogs, and planned to be home around midnight. I was going to be consuming adult beverages so I didn't want to have any bad decisions made over text/talk...
I left my phone in the car the whole time. When it was all said and done, I returned to 6 missed calls and 19 texts from the W. some were about what i was doing, some where about whos taking care of the animals, some included reasons she still has no trust for me, she didn't understand how APR works on credit cards so she thought i wasn't paying her credit card bill, it was all just crazy behavior texts.
The one thing I wasn't expecting was for her to be at the house waiting for me when I got home. She met me in the garage (she was leaving now that I came home), only to say a few harsh words about my lack of responsibility and how its not just okay to ignore her calls/texts all day. then she left, and called immediately after asking how i'm doing all these things but not spending any money out of our checking and how she things I'm still hiding money from her, etc etc.
I gave her the, "I'm sorry you feel I can't be trusted anymore, I do want to discuss this with you and hope to ease your mind a little. Can I call you in the morning?" She called me selfish and said 'do whatever you want'.
So, that happened... haha. Just another day in the crazy maze.
Do you really want to call her "hun" (without adding Attila) or "babe" ? That might not just be pursuing; it might be taken as sarcasm. Which I'm totally okay with, but isn't really good DBing. Maybe I should just go grab more boxes.
Your response was nice. Non-reactive and helpful is good. Anytime you can walk away from a situation and feel that you didn't cave in to her rants and stayed even keel, logical, and "nice" about it, you are winning. And by that I mean earning your own self respect for strength under fire. Look good, feel good. Go you!
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
