Don't leave, it is the worse thing I could have done, I am now in a mess where we leave at different times.
M 21 years XW 43yo, me 41 yo S13 BD March 2016 - she asked me to patient... End of June - I started the D process. D final 2/23/17 "He who forgets will be destined to remember" Eddie Vedder
I see that my posts are very scattered, so I do apologize for that. I assumed my situation was so bad that doing a 180 or going dark would be the solution.
@Cadet I don't see where me giving the letter is not a sign of me doing a 180. I really want to make this marriage work, but I do not see how unless I go to drastic measures.
M-41 W-46 T- 17 years M- 13 yrs SS - 25 SD- 22 D 11 ILYBNILWY - 6/6/15 Status - DBing, GAL
Have you read the Divorce Remedy book? How about the homework I gave you? Especially Sandi's threads(5) and the pursuit and distance thread.
Right now my first suggestion besides reading the homework is to do NOTHING, you are spinning very badly and likely to do the wrong thing. We need you to slow down and get yourself under control first!
Don't leave, it is the worse thing I could have done, I am now in a mess where we leave at different times.
Hence the reason why I should not send the letter?
The letter is just a bunch of words. If I was advising her I would tell her to trust your ACTIONS not your words. The same goes for YOU My first post says to believe NONE of what she says and half of what she does.
I have the book, read the few first chapters, started defining what my goals were, skipped ahead to infidelity and then stopped reading.
My whole situation has been on 10 since I read some of her texts back on October. She was talking about breaking up with me with a guy she is seeing they also talked about her need for sex. I have been going downhill ever since. I have asked her about seeing someone else and she has always denied it. Since I read her texts I know she is lying.
So now I have a liar on my hands who says she is leaving me because of my lies (insert irony here).
I have begged her begged God, gotten friends involved, told my mama and nothing has worked.
I don't want my M to die.
M-41 W-46 T- 17 years M- 13 yrs SS - 25 SD- 22 D 11 ILYBNILWY - 6/6/15 Status - DBing, GAL
Don't leave, it is the worse thing I could have done, I am now in a mess where we leave at different times.
Hence the reason why I should not send the letter?
The letter is just a bunch of words. If I was advising her I would tell her to trust your ACTIONS not your words. The same goes for YOU My first post says to believe NONE of what she says and half of what she does.
So if my actions speak louder than words, than I would do the following:
Seek financial planning advisor (I have 2 now) Find a Christian counselor who specializes in lie addiction. Find a way to earn extra money to pay back my 401k
M-41 W-46 T- 17 years M- 13 yrs SS - 25 SD- 22 D 11 ILYBNILWY - 6/6/15 Status - DBing, GAL
Don't leave, it is the worse thing I could have done, I am now in a mess where we leave at different times.
Hence the reason why I should not send the letter?
The letter is just a bunch of words. If I was advising her I would tell her to trust your ACTIONS not your words. The same goes for YOU My first post says to believe NONE of what she says and half of what she does.
So if my actions speak louder than words, than I would do the following:
Seek financial planning advisor (I have 2 now) Find a Christian counselor who specializes in lie addiction. Find a way to earn extra money to pay back my 401k
Oh, and have a bulletproof positive attitude
M-41 W-46 T- 17 years M- 13 yrs SS - 25 SD- 22 D 11 ILYBNILWY - 6/6/15 Status - DBing, GAL
