40s 2teens M14Y BD-10/12/13 rec-1/14 BD2-5/14 rec2-9/14 EA disc-10/14 4/15-BD 3 and triangulation ensues Served with D6/15 MS forced to leave7/15 D agreement signed 8/16 final 5/17
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2 M - 8/2008 W is not happy - 1/2014 W wants D - 9/2014 W moved out - 11/2014 D filed - 1/23/2015 D'ed - 2/25/2015 Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
The wounds are deep and all the pieces will fall into place only with time. It will never go away from memory, but the pain from it will dissipate slowly as you nurture a healthier life for yourself.
I hope you are busy but still have some time to practice your exercises to help with the PTSD. It is a danger zone as you can trigger longer episodes. Allowing this will set you back faster then you can walk forward, so take some time to practice what helps you emotionally and spiritually.
I do believe that if our core is strong, then our external lives will have little impact in our well being.
IMHO there is nothing wrong to want XH gone for good, totally outside the picture. But there is also nothing wrong acknowledging what was done, why it happen, the consequences of his behavior, the reasons behind his behavior. I feel that even though it is none of your business, it is healthy to acknowledge that some people do get lost and sick.
I know it is not your task to resolve or address his issues, but knowing what, where, why is also part of your growth and freedom.
Knowing all what surround his behavior, will led you to forgive and will also led you to some freedom you haven't been able to touch for long.
Sometimes the only way to get free from our enemies is understanding them, why they do what they do. This gives you clarity and helps you to let go not only him, but the wounds that you carry around.
Hope you are doing better by now. Take good care after yourself and do not let yourself on the side even for a little minute. You are important and you matter.
I do not have words or advice for your situation, but I do have concern for your well being and extend my sincerest support and prayers to you. I know you as Vanilla and I know that we live across the pond from each other but your support and prayers have been a great blessing in my life and I owe you more than I can ever repay.
I pray that you find peace and comfort in these difficult and busy days.
(((V)))
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
Hi Vanilla. I'm sorry that you are having a rough patch. Know that my thoughts are with you, and as you always say - his circus, his monkeys. You are absolutely right that WH needs to fix his own issues.
Sometimes busy is good, sometimes busy is more distraction than you need. Try to carve out time for yourself and the things you need to do to heal.
Hugs for V.
H: 44, Me: 45 Married: 20 y Together: 25 y no kids Walk away: 12/15 Asked for temp separation 12/25/15 PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had) H filed for D 5/16
Hi V, sorry to hear you've been having a rough patch and PTSD symptoms. I still feel I'm healing from trauma - though our circumstances have been different. It does take time and is a process, and you are getting there and will get there.
Yes, your H is responsible for his chosen path, for how he chooses to deal with things and interact with others. I feel lucky that I had a happy childhood with parents who I feel did their best. Not everyone is so lucky and the impact plays out in adult lives.
Ultimately we all hope to live peacefully with ourselves, regardless of what others may choose to do.
Hope this rough patch passes quickly and take care xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
