Cherry, you're right. Kid is so intuitive and precocious that I really need to db her as well and act as if with her too.
The weekends are getting really hard without kid. I miss her so so much.
Xh texted me some pictures of kid having fun. The only other time he did that was some time before the 2nd R attempt in the months leading to the D. He had wanted to 'assure' me that TP wasn't around kid.
It's good that kid is having fun. I know this is bad for detachment but why did he do that? What does he have to prove this time? That he's not the source of kid's stress?
The pictures threw me. They remind me that these are times I will never get to spend with kid. And I start to miss the days when we were all together.
I wonder if xh goes through the same thought process, the same regret and the same pain when I send him pictures of kid. Why do I send him pictures of kid?
I don't do it often but some times there is this irresistible urge to share with him snippets of kid's life. Whether or not we are M, regardless of how we feel about each other, kid is still our baby. And I thought that he should experience part of kid's life. Even if it is vicariously.
Maybe xh feels the same way.
Lonely lonely nights.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
Grl, I don't think its' necessarily unhealthy to send pics of kid to each other. I do it. I sent prom pics of D18 to Mr P since he wasn't there to see it. He appreciated it. Neither of us thought it was sad or manipulative in any way. You have to stop thinking like that, seriously, Grl. Be the parents that kid needs and let the rest go. (((Grl)))
LOL, Grl. I am really not sure if your xh being interested in me would be a compliment or not. Outside the fact that I probably could be his mother. I have a rule that I don't date anyone that could, in theory, be my son.
My ex and I send pictures to eachother of our kid even when we are in a period of not being able to stand eachother. We both love our young daughter, and no matter what kind of feelings we have for one another, we both know we made that child and will always have that small piece in common. And may it be the only thing that ties us, it's huge in theory.
It is natural to want to share snippets of your childs life. You will always be bonded by that. And there is nothing wrong with doing it. No reason to resist that.
I will tell you, I was where you are in a much worse way. I am 8 years out:) I couldn't send a pic for a while without wondering how he could not want to share this life with me. I will tell you, and I also have to remind myself: time really does heal. I will always be sad about losing the family we could have had. Until I finally accepted that was a fantasy, because my ex couldn't do what needed to be done. 8 years later, he is still the same guy, only with a different wife tolerating it. My future was a fantasy. I would have probably left him. We would not be a happy intact family enjoying our life with our child. It is surely sad, because I would have done whatever was needed to be there. He wouldn't.
I am completely detached, so its easier for me. But again, that comes with time. And those exchanges will come at a happier time, even with separate lives.
No one would ever believe this who knew me from way back when on here, but I realized last night when ex couldn't pick up D8 on time and offered to come late or send his wife. he acted like I'd rather have him do it. Actually no, I'd rather see her than him (she;s the OW)!
It is crazy what time does!
p.s no one ever said big girl panties can't be sexy!
I know how hard it is not being able to give your child the life you wanted to. I will always remember how you helped me, when I Was upset that my son would scream and literally have to be dragged into husbands car during pick ups.
As I have calmed down, and (having dad and MIL give him sweets). The transition has become easier... My son has actually said to me "mom, I'm used to this now". I am amazed at his resiliency and rational way of accepting us divorcing. So far I am lucky because no real conflict regarding son. Husband and I are on the page. All we really care about is that he is safe and away from any conflict. We are both doing our part regarding this.
I Think only children are very tuned in to the emotions of the moms. As I accept the situation better, so does son.
I think that a neutral counselor that would talk to husband and in laws and yourself, reguarding your concerns would be ideal. If you are the one to do it, it might not be as accepted.
I love that you are introducing her to charity work. I want to do this too! You are such a great mom!
Yes, Ginger. I look at how beautiful kid is and wonder how he could not want her and us. I may be biased but kid is really a wonderful kid.
Omg. You are really magnanimous. I can't ever imagine wanting to see OW. I would really want to see neither of them. Unless they are suffering in each other's company.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
