Look up alopecia areata. If it is a round patch with sharp borders, this is probably it. It's autoimmune and can be triggered by stress. Usually resolves, dermatologist can inject steroids into it if not resolving. Usually looks like a patch the size of a large coin.
If it's more irregular, could be trichotillomania - compulsive hair pulling.
The patch is more irregular. I highly suspect that it's from hair pulling.
And now I just found out that xh's family has been asking kid if she would like to go on an overseas trip with them.
This is not part of the legal agreement. Kid is too young to leave the country without me.
I have told them that they cannot take kid out of the country without my permission and I have definitely told them that I will not let kid leave the country without me.
They are definitely playing dirty and I am extremely upset. Why do they have to put kid through this? They knew I would say no so that made use of kid?
I am trying not to be a bitch about access arrangements and have been more than generous. I need kid too and when I have her, I dont just dump her with my family and do my own stuff.
Why are they taking advantage of my generosity?
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
Hi Grl, just wanted to pop on and visit your thread. I hope you feel better soon, and solve the mystery of the hair patch. You are smart not to tell xh about what was said in C, I have taken that approach too, nothing good comes out of it and the truth gets distorted into something ugly. Your d is so lucky she has you.
Fwiw, I think the kids are going to feel responsible for us regardless, because they love us and want to comfort us.
My youngest is still protective of me, even though I'm just fine. The other day she got upset because Mr P asked something about me. It was a legitimate question, wasn't ill-intentioned in any way, he's just not allowed to talk about me, period, in her mind. She and I had a talk about it, she cried a little and said she didn't think it was right that Mr P had left me after 26 years together. I told her I didn't like it either but that I had a good life, that we had a good life as a family. She knows that, but it still bothers her after 18 months. Hugs for you, (((Grl)))
Mystery solved. Kid admitted to pulling her own hair. I have talked to her counsellor and her counsellor has suggested that I look for a psychiatrist for her. Her talk about self- hurt and her pulling of her hair are all shouts for help.
I wondered if I should tell xh about the issue. I texted him a very simple text. I told him that kid admitted to pulling her hair out and her counsellor has suggested getting a psychiatrist. To the point. If he wants to see it as guilt-tripping, that really is his issue.
He's the father. He should know what's happening.
I am thinking that I should take up my counsellor's suggestion of joint counselling with the xh to talk about kid's issues.
As much as I love the xfil and am grateful for his past help, I think he has to stop using kid as a go-between. Whatever he wants to do with kid should go through me, not kid.
He told kid that TP and XH were just friends. And kid sent me an impassioned text on his phone asking me to believe her. All these just keep giving kid hope that xh will come back to us.
I don't know what game they are playing now. And I am very tired.
Should I talk to x-fil first before xh? Since x fil is the source of contention now, I am thinking that I should talk to him first.
They are running me and kid down. I am so tired. Why are they so selfish and cruel? Are they trying to force me into playing hardball and keeping to the legal agreement?
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
So kid called from xh's flat. I have blocked xh's mobile but not the flat number. Smart of him to have figured that out.
Kid wished me good night and chatted with me for a while. She sounded kind of down. And I miss kid so much I started tearing.
Then kid told me xh wanted to talk to me. I was kinda of in a ball-ripping mood over kid's hair-pulling incident. Xh sounded friendly. I was starting to warm up too until he started asking if kid's hair loss was due to the lice preparations and asked me to stop using it on kid.
Kid has been lice free for months. And I thought I told him in 3 simple sentences that kid admitted to pulling her own hair. I suppose I might have reacted to his implied trivialising of the hair loss. He sounded like he wanted to talk more but I was so annoyed and frosty that I started giving 1 word answers. To give him credit, he didn't get annoyed with me.
I felt bad. So I texted him, thanking him for letting kid call.
In another world, in another place, in another time, I would have been thrilled to have him call. And hear his voice.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
Arose, I have realised that you can only convert the converted. Nonpoint telling him what he doesn't want to hear. Cheapens our feelings.
Maybell and Sunny, You're right. The C did tell me that it's very common for kids to feel responsible for the left behind parents. It's just so gutwrenching to see your 7-year old kid feel like she's entirely responsible for your happiness.
Which can only mean one thing- I have to put on my biggest girl panties. And not let kid ever worry about us or me. I will show her through words and more importantly that we are going to be okay. Hell, we are going to be kick-ass okay!
Have planned a trip to do charity work in a third world country with kid at the end of the year. Am going to deliver food to the needy this Sunday. If this stint works out well, I will take kid with me for the next few deliveries.
Kid must see that compared to many others, we are more than fine.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
That is so good what you are doing with the charity food drop. You are an amazing person.
Sorry to hear about kid, they are very intuitive, especially where their mami's are involved I think. When h is frosty with me, even my toddler picks up on it and won't go near him. Breaks my heart in a way. But then I see that as I am a lioness that needs to protect my cub.
I think it's good that you did speak to xh, you are both parents even if he is a little lax in responsibility, you both need to speak about your child's wellbeing.
It's hard on you that you have to be the big person all the time, but I get a strong sense of strength from you. You're an amazing woman. And I send huge hugs to my beautiful db soul sister!
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
