I'm still on her roller-coaster it appears. I think she's done with OM1 and is either trying to find OM2 or simply rebelling by going out when and where she wants.
It wholly appears that she wants to stay married. I do not doubt that. But she still wants to come and go as she pleases too. I thought that letting her in a little would help to deposit a few trinkets into her love bucket, but alas. Not even that has caught her attention.
She says that I take no responsibility for my actions, not wishing her on mother's day. I am pretty selfish at times, I must admit. But trying to deal with that too.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
I'm am trying to make us work and you don't give me a chance. I'm sorry I don't feel like I want to spend the Saturday into my bday with you but with all that have happen can you blame me and than once again you get your back up. Sunday we can have lunch and spend time together but I feel once again you gonne leave me alone. Something you been doing so well this pass 2months
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
It definitely is. Its about who can out do the other, from her perspective. It's always been a power battle in our R though. I always used to win, and now she believes that she's strong enough to become the alpha.
Any ideas - I did tell her that if she stays home, i'll stay home. If I go out, then she can come with. If she goes out then I go with too. It's her decision really so let's see what she comes back with. This is just a test of her willingness. Tomorrow's always another day.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
I cant and wont rebuild this marriage by myself as I am not the only one that brought us to where we are today. My son however deserve a mother and a father. So pull yourself together!
What do i do? If i focus on myself, she says i'm not trying. If i focus on her, everyone says i'm not DBing. I can't give up!
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
The fact that she wants to go without me, making up silly excuses, is not wholly indicative of a power struggle tho. It's entitlement that she's looking for. Selfishness really.
What a mixed bag of shyt i have.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
I may have missed a few pages from your threads but what I have read seems to be game playing.
Your W has consistently said and pushed to work on M. Why not go down that road. Determine what you want in a M and what she needs to do. It goes without saying you need to work on your side of things regardless.
Why not give her the chance to SHOW you she wants to work thus out? It will soon enough be apparent whether she is committed or not
You need to figure out what you want and take steps towards that.
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
i'm trying both avenues roist; yesterday I said "i'll join you for your bday" and she says "that she does not want me with". I told her this morning, "do you think that you going out on your bday without me is trying to make the M work" to which she could only answer "no". Then i get the unsolicited email that she wants to make the M work.
She's been confused from day 1, one foot out and one foot in. I have no doubt that I would not have been here if it was not for me DBing, I know that I need to keep on doing it - but how do i continue if she perceives it as me doing the same old thing and being distant and putting her second.
I know that for this to work, I need to put her first, be the knight in shining armour right now. That goes against DBing - i'm just as confused!
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
