DDJ.. It's ok to vent on here and to say that you want to walk away even. Bi say it often, and each time I do it becomes more realistic of an option and harder to stay put. That is ok with me, it's part of detachment. It's hard to walk with conviction and stay true to our beliefs. If it wasn't difficult, our WWs would be loving, caring, and committed. At times I think their way is the easy way out, that's why the tend to follow that path.
I try to think of my WW as a lost sibling, one that always breaks my trust, borrows money and never pays it back. I still care about him/her but cannot let them run my life or worry me to death. I would have guards and walks up for them, why not a WW. Even a brother would have to make strides to repair trust.
Ralph88 Me 40s W 30s, D5 D3 , M7 T9 2013 B drop 1, EA found 2016 B drop 2, EA/PA? 2/16 Physical Seperation 2/16 I filed for D 4/16 PA Confirmed
I'm so worried cos I feel once again I did something wrong, please come home. Unless you feel like you with someone better than me.
My mother believes that I need her to feel the weight of her decisions.and that I should move out with my Bro mid June indefinitely. Let her fend for herself as a single mom.
I'm still going my to hit my goals and know that it's not recommended. What do you guys think?
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
Thx Ralph. I can see her as a bad sister. Just gotta refocus. I can do anything that I put my mind to. Still fighting with my heart though. Keep losing that battle. I will find a way. I have no choice.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
I clearly need better boundaries to protect myself. Needs to be tangible, because this intangible thing does not work. Will figure out something and play it back tomorrow. I'm thinking like a juvenile in terms of action, but I believe that that's what my poor heart needs.
I cannot make my WWs life uncomfortable, but also cannot make it comfortable.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
Do not leave unless that is what you want. Do not leave house or mbr. Do not ask her to leave either. That is her choice. I would not leave my kid either, without clear 50 50 custody or better. I personally don't see leaving as getting you closer to your goals.
Ralph88 Me 40s W 30s, D5 D3 , M7 T9 2013 B drop 1, EA found 2016 B drop 2, EA/PA? 2/16 Physical Seperation 2/16 I filed for D 4/16 PA Confirmed
My mother believes that I need her to feel the weight of her decisions.and that I should move out with my Bro mid June indefinitely. Let her fend for herself as a single mom.
I'm still going my to hit my goals and know that it's not recommended. What do you guys think?
Thx all. I think it's testament to my mental state that I got into bed at 11-30 last night and slept all of the way until 6-10 this morning. What a great sleep. I'm ready to take on the world.
I can't promise that my heart won't be paining on Saturday tho. But that's Saturdays problem.
As for focusing on me, that's still going well. Just one bad day where I let the evil in. Got to get better at this, got to. I know what's best for me, staying away from the toxicity. Keeping my son safe too.
I do believe that I have the blueprint to be the type of guy that no-one would dream of leaving. Going to keep keeping on.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
I got to admit, I don't understand completely what you're doing...
What is the situation with WW and her EA? Has she ended it? It sounds like she wants to stay married and fix things? I guess I don't understand your approach and what your goals are...
Are you working through the Divorce Remedy chapters?
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
