You are doing well all things considered. I have been dreading my first night alone, but hearing you, I am thinking it might not be that bad. I have not had to be alone yet, as I have had at least one if not both d's with me.
I look forward to getting a good nights rest. Good to hear that you had one.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
Second night alone... Went and got a haircut, then treated myself to a hard massage, felt really sore and good afterwards.
Had a nice meal out and came home and texted with S11. He will be home with me for the next two nights, I'll meet him tomorrow evening for baseball practice, should be fun!
Me-LBH, 48 Spouse-WW, 48 Married for 19 years Son, 12 BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding) BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA) WW filed D February 2016 WW moved out April 2016
MWD has some really great clips on you tube on what to tell the children. She agrees with you, but has a nice way of wording it.
I really believe that that it is important for children to be raised with the concept that marriage is a committment. Not something disposable. I think it would be important for your son to know your honest views, as he will most likely be modeling your beliefs.
I am strongly against lying to children. My MIL did this to my husband regarding his father (who left them and then came back but had little to do with him). She wanted to protect their relationship and I get that. But my husband was trying to model something he didn't know the truth about. My husband still does not know, but my MIl asked me to not say anything. I really think the lies messed with my husband's concept of relationships and roles of parents.
Accuray has been giving such good advice. So much logic to it. It was hard for me to implement it though when my emotions were in full swing. WS won't really want LBS back until LBS no longer cares. And they really sense the true detachment (not the acting as if).
OM sounds like a POS. It won't work out. That's a guarantee. And it's horrible to have no control over someone doing something that is just so destructive and foolish. I am sorry you are going through this.
Hi JujuB, Thanks, I will watch those MWD clips. Following the advice from the other site, I have already told S11 the truth in the beginning and explained the concept of marriage and commitment. He understood it well but it is a difficult situation for him as it is his mother. He's been here throughout the past eleven years so he knows the truth about our relationship, no re-writing of history by WW can change that. It is still a very tough slog day to day. I did get a good night's rest last night, only woke up once at 5 am and went back to sleep. So the AD is really kicking in. The key to having a good day has been to put my focus on other things and work on them. Still, the sadness remains.
Me-LBH, 48 Spouse-WW, 48 Married for 19 years Son, 12 BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding) BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA) WW filed D February 2016 WW moved out April 2016
The MWD video that discusses how to talk to the children about divorce is very good. Her advice is to be honest and tell the children which spouse wanted the divorce. (I know you've already done that.) What was interesting was that I mentioned that video when talking to a DB coach and he was surprised to hear that MWD supported that approach. I guess the coaches don't watch MWD's videos. Regardless, I dread talking to my sons about the divorce.
I'm glad your AD is kicking-in, my AD has really helped through the DB process.
I'm sorry about the sadness; my wife's move-out day is at least a week away and I'm feeling the sadness already. I hope you can GAL and get your mind off of your marriages woes.
You sound to be holding up pretty well in spite of the sadness. It is good to hear how well you are sleeping. What's your secret? I am looking forward to just one good nights rest. I did not hardly sleep at all last night, felt good this morning, but now I feel like falling asleep right here at my desk. But I gotta push through the day and hope that the sleepiness holds on till tonight.
Have a great day and time with your son. Keep taking it one step at a time, and know I am here pulling for you.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
You sound to be holding up pretty well in spite of the sadness. It is good to hear how well you are sleeping. What's your secret? I am looking forward to just one good nights rest.
SadHub, My secret is Lexapro, 10mg, I take it right before I go to sleep. The first few days it made me dizzy, but now I think it's kicking in. I do wake up in the morning a little drowsy but feel rested. Also, it spared me a lot of the dark thoughts at night. I was taking Wellbutrin 300mg on advice of the MD because it has less side effects. Well, it had NO effect on me so I went back and the MD changed me to Lexapro. I was taking over-the-counter melatonin initially right after D-Day. It was OK and things were not as serious back then, as my WW was pretending to piece. Well, after she filed, all hell broke loose then I had to seek help from an MD. Talk to your doctor, he should be able to help you. The copay on my med is very cheap, like $11 for 30 days.
Me-LBH, 48 Spouse-WW, 48 Married for 19 years Son, 12 BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding) BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA) WW filed D February 2016 WW moved out April 2016
I'm about 3 weeks away from W moving out and I am dreading it. Having to finally tell the kids must be tough. Thank you for sharing what you're going through, it is really helping me prepare for what's to come.
I take Lexapro as well. I think a lot of people try to fight their way through depression. But, when you're fighting for your marriage, it's very hard to work through everything effectively if you're depressed. Don't get me wrong, I do feel sadness and it hurts that my marriage is headed towards divorce, but at least I'm not incapacitated with depression.
