so, implementing my Robx'ness. Picking up the kids last night and she started discussing stuff that wasn't appropriate for them to hear. I should have stated a boundary, but it was right in the heat of it. I said, I would not discuss XXX in front of the children and she kept going. I repeated I wouldn't discuss xxx at this time, but she could call me that evening and I would be happy to discuss. 2 mins later, she starts again. I said I will not discuss this, end of conversation (should have said I am going to leave or just left) but she was shocked to see me say end of conversation and take control of the sitch. She was silent for about 5 seconds in shock and then said "Don't talk to me like that", but the convo was done.
Should I text or say anything to her now to state a boundary of if you do that again in front of the kids, I will just leave or wait for them in the car, or just let it be?
You don't need to tell her anything. You made it clear you won't talk about that subject in front of the kids. Next time just end the conversation by walking away if possible Think actions not words.
Me:49 W:45 M:19 T:22 EA confirmed and ended 8/2014 S:19,17 D:9,5
Me-LBH, 48 Spouse-WW, 48 Married for 19 years Son, 12 BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding) BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA) WW filed D February 2016 WW moved out April 2016
Did you start at the beginning of Robx's threads? If not, I hope you will. You will see how he turned himself around real fast.
Robx will be good reading. It should help in raising your testerone levels. Make you want to pull a freight truck with your teeth.....or some such stuff that guys do.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
So if you get some spew and even blackmailed (not giving me something she agreed to give me until she gets $$) do you all think that it is best to:
1) ignore? (seems passive and weak)
2) State a boundary (has to be the right option) but I just don't know how to word it. Maybe, I will not allow you to threaten me, if you do it again I will not reply nor will I allow it to factor into my decisions.
How can I find Robx's threads. Trying to use search and guessing which 90 period he might have been posting is impossible.
H:54 W:46 D:11 D:21 M:12 BD:1/15 In-house Separation 2/15 DB started 7/15, W sees consistency 9/15 Dropping the rope and having her leave 2/16, moves 5/16 Reconciliation 1/17 Obviously still struggling
Ignoring is not passive and weak. Giving in to her unreasonable demands is weak. Talk is weak. Ignoring is an action that will drive her nuts if you don't give in. That is strong.
Is the item yours and you can prove it? If so, she can't legally keep it without your permission. Ask your L what to do if it is important to retrieve.
Me:49 W:45 M:19 T:22 EA confirmed and ended 8/2014 S:19,17 D:9,5
