I'm right there with you. I first learned of the PA at the end of DEC. not sure I can ever truly forgive. I always said that a PA was the end all because PAs are such a blatant disrespect to their partner and the marriage. In all honesty, once that line is crossed there is no turning back. And, in all honesty, there is no way one cannot look at their cheating partner - even if said partner was fully "repentant" - without thinking of it, especially if pictures were taken.
But if a person can honestly say they can fully trust that person to the extent they did before, especially after the lies, deceit, etc, is uncovered, then either that person truly is strong enough to accept it may happen to again or or they are a true weakling. How does the old saying go, a leaopard never changes its spots...
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
What I meant by friends, is that I have several high-ranking ones in the navy medical field who know of the situation but won't do anything unless I ask. See, I have enough evidence to fully sink her. There is no way she's could deny - she even admitted (via text) that she hacked my phone and sent some of my contacts to the OM because she thought I was "also messing around." The lawyer liked that one.
I'm not sure I can find any more info now that she is down there. Ugh. Honestly, I won't involve them. But I fully feel that she is unfit due to her actions and should not be in another director position.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
If she loses her job would you have to pay alimony? Am I right that all you have is nuclear weapons to fight this war. Do you have anything on her that is less damning? During the divorce proceedings your lawyer could say agree to my terms or this will be made public?
No on the alimony part. By going to FL without us, she is effectively giving over primary custody and didn't even realize she did it. And then there is the whole mental side of things - hell, I even have a text from her saying that if she had to go back to FL without them (happened last month - when my son said he didn't want to go if I wasn't going)that she would have ended her life that night.
But yes, I have a nuclear option...
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
or they will cover her butt depending on her relationship with her command. I would gather info first and then do it.
Sounds like he's got that covered with his contacts. But he should report to both the commander and the IG to ensure it doesn't fall through the cracks.
Me-LBH, 48 Spouse-WW, 48 Married for 19 years Son, 12 BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding) BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA) WW filed D February 2016 WW moved out April 2016
The CO, XO, CMC, etc. I have so many emails I could practically spam the command with her stuff. If I were to report, they'd get the whole nine yards - pics, emails, texts...
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
No on the alimony part. By going to FL without us, she is effectively giving over primary custody and didn't even realize she did it. And then there is the whole mental side of things - hell, I even have a text from her saying that if she had to go back to FL without them (happened last month - when my son said he didn't want to go if I wasn't going)that she would have ended her life that night.
But yes, I have a nuclear option...
That should be enough to get you primary custody, in most states her leaving like that would be viewed as "abandonment."
Sounds like your L has a good handle handle on the PA evidence. You need to figure out what you want: For her to be away from the OM, then you should expose and report to the command. You may take a hit to the pocketbook in the short run but it will break up the PA and may bring her back to you. Or if you want to go forward with the D, then hold the info as a negotiating piece.
Me-LBH, 48 Spouse-WW, 48 Married for 19 years Son, 12 BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding) BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA) WW filed D February 2016 WW moved out April 2016
It seems like the divorce case is different then blowing up her career. Win divorce case with her employed and get control of the kids. I am not sure I would blow up her career if she is far away and out of you life. But keep the data for future use.
I am not sure if they are still talking or laying low until both divorces happen. He is in SC and she in FL. The OMs W keeps me updated as much as she can. Seems as if he has others, too...
Oh my L had a field day with all her stuff. His assistant apparently didn't read the warning I put about the contents of the emails...seems as if she was rather shocked. 😂
Ugh, I can't unsee the pics...
I think for now the best bet may be to do as mutatio suggest and win and get ordered support. Then I will strike. 😈
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
As I said above, your advice is solid - I may wait and win. If it weren't for the kids, I would have sunken her in every way possible. Her actions just purely disgust me. She said she has a clear conscience (exact words). But, I also know she isn't of the best mind, either...
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
