Hello my friends I thought I would post an update to my sitch
My wife has told me in the past that she wants to sell the house and live apart yet right now we are not arguing and seem to be getting along better.
Yesterday we went out shopping for the garden and purchased loads of new flowers and hanging baskets she talked about how this year we can grow more strawberries and try growing some peppers and it feels like she is in no rush to leave she still has not been to see a solicitor no more clearing out the house yet I am still held under the constant fear of when she will push things forward and we cannot have relationship conversations.
So I went out with a couple of ladies that I know to a bar then a club I am not attracted to either of them they encouraged me to drink bought me a couple of shots during the night both of them came in to me .....one tried full on kissing me .....full on the mouth I am like hell no and then the other every chance to get close to me she would try kissing me and kept saying ....just go with the flow ...both of them have partners and I kept saying like no and one Kept saying it's ok and nothing's perfect like .....I am not going there no a flipping chance ......I was actually quite relieved when a total stranger took my arm turned me arround and started dancing with me.....only lasted a few minutes but non the less she made me feel desirable.
Things are much better between me and my eldest daughter we are talking more and I am actually teaching her to drive little or no fighting we are both putting in the effort.
I am so flipping confused as to what I want
I want to feel loved I want to be with someone that loves me I do not want to start a new life with someone else I miss feeling close to someone Sleeping on my own feels lonely
I know only I can make the change
Just venting I guess
I will move when I am ready ...just need to keep trying to get closer to this point
Ghost
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
Hi Ghost, I'm glad to read things seem to have settled a little with your W. And it's good to hear your R with your D has improved too.
But I was a little dismayed to read about your GAL and I hope you'll be able to find some activities that don't put you in that kind of uncomfortable situation. Spending time with other women who are (presumably) unhappy enough in their R's that they want to kiss some other guy probably isn't a great idea.
However, it sounds as though you are managing yourself a little better, which is of course the main thing.
Take care & hope you have a good week xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Hi G. Well I didn't expect that in your update !!! As Sotto advises , keep a level head and know that your way to emtional for another R. On the plus side , it shows G is far from unloveable or desirable
On the W front , this is when relaxing back is even more important. W being nice could mean anything and mind reading never works.
Great news about you and D. A few months back you wouldn't have thought it possible but here you are
Carry on , carrying on working on G , life will be good again
I want to feel loved I want to be with someone that loves me I do not want to start a new life with someone else I miss feeling close to someone Sleeping on my own feels lonely
I see nothing confusing about this list. I think almost everyone would want the same things.
What is really confusing you?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I want to feel loved I want to be with someone that loves me I do not want to start a new life with someone else I miss feeling close to someone Sleeping on my own feels lonely
In one word, what you are longing for is - Intimacy! One of the hardest parts of being the LBS, at least for me, is the sudden and complete absence of intimacy. I think, with rare exception, every human being craves intimacy. A physical and emotional connection. Someone with whom to share. It is even harder when you have had intimacy and are suddenly deprived of it. I doubt I am making you feel better, but I wanted you to know that you are not alone. It's tough. Really tough. I am sorry.
I guess you are right it is the intamacy that I am missing
It just feels so lonley and I am quite sure that my W is feeling similar thoughts
I realise I am in no position to strike up another relationship and that I have to love myself a heck of a lot of more that I do at the moment.
I still live in house and it is not easy at times however we do generally get along as a family I just can see how long term this cannot be good for the children.
Going to start a new thread
ghost
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
Sandi you are the orical you have such knowledge but it is my fear of change that is holding me back my fear of being alone and the sence that I have let my W down and want to put things right
I do not want to be alone yet I can see that I am more alone than ever.
My W had four children not once has she said I cannot see them ...I can share them fifty fifty ....how can I rebuild attraction and intamacy
I will post on my new thread
Thank you all for being there for me
Ghost
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
