Rant... I know there are so many on this board who still love their WSs and would like nothing more than to get them back. That is not the case with me. I am ashamed to say it, but I hate my WW. There, I said it. I hate her. Is there something wrong with me? I feel like there is. I know it is just another sign that I have not detached or dropped the rope. I cannot wait until I am completely and utterly indifferent to her. Right now, living under the same roof, I am struggling so much. I pretty much avoid her as much as possible, and life goes pretty well. But as soon as I have any contact with her I am thrown into a maelstrom of angry emotions. She called about an appointment for S4 that she cannot make. I told her that I would reschedule, but I also told her that I want to know about appts too. She leaves me out of the loop plenty. Then I told her that I don't think we will be able to send our kids to summer camp this summer because we are living beyond our means. She keeps telling the children that they are going to camp. The kids are so excited. Now I am afraid I can't send them. All because of the huge amount we are spending on L and the luxuries my wife is purchasing with reckless abandon. I am so angry at her. She also told her friend that I am threatening her life and shut her out financially. Complete lies. I called the friend. Big mistake.
I get that feeling sometimes too, but it (the feeling) normally changes before too long. It doesn't always go straight back to love either, sometimes it slows down at contempt then speeds past disgust then settles on toleration for awhile. Let yourself feel it for a bit then decide what it is, I doubt that it is straight up hate.
M: 39 W:38 D: 11 S: 7 T: 18 M:13 I suspect problem: 8/15 ILYB: 9/15 Never quit on love I ask her to leave:10/15
I dunno, 2ltl2lt, it sure feels like straight up hate most of the time. I find myself cussing under my breath every time I depart from her presence. I flip her the bird when she is on the other side of a wall/or door and can't see me. I don't do these things all the time and they are never witnessed, but it is shameful behavior. It has become some sort of habit. pitiful. As I briefly alluded to above, she has been spreading rumors about me in my hometown. She told a friend that I threatened her life and cut off all her funding. Both patent lies. She is in cahoots with a lover who has been harassing me for the past year, and a wicked step mother who is encouraging her to destroy the family (not that I would ever take my W back. ever.) It feels so terrible to know there are people who are out to malign you and destroy you. I know life is not fair. Why is it that I have to play by the rules and they are allowed to cheat and lie?
Let them know that the children are in a shared care/ or separated parent situation and that all appointment letters and reports need to be sent to both you and wife. Let them know that if copies come to both you it avoids lots stress.
JellyB, Thanks for this advice. I am too often afraid to tell people about my sitch. I think people, i.e. school administrators need to know.
This is contempt. Hate is a completely different emotion.
I am not sure you distinquish the two. It would be helpful if you did- I think so.
Why?
Well if your feeling is contempt, the two finger salute is dismissive. It makes you feel better so go ahead. You can swish the behaviour out of your space and back to her.
And you can separate the behaviour from the person. Feel disgusted by her behaviour and not by her then there won't be leakage in your body language near the kids.
I think it would help you to say to yourself , disgusting behaviour, how low can you go WW. Without being disgusted with W or angry at her.
You can say, "not a nice way to behave" and "charming" and "really!". Whilst grinning like a Cheshire cat and up yours.
Oh and OM is a sleaze ball, lots of two finger salutes. Grot bag, scum features and pond slime.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
WW is really despicable. She just went away for the weekend. She told the children that she was going to her step-grandmother's 90th birthday party. Total lie. She was with OM the whole time. She fabricated the entire story. There was not even a shred of truth in it. How can she lie to her beautiful children like that? How can she even look at herself? She has not even a shred of decency. What a sick damaged individual.
Please stop labelling WW as a person, call on the behaviour.
It is time to drop truth darts on her, as in "WW I know where you were last weekend and as the lies are so obvious I suspect it is no secret to your children"
And your older children will know the truth, children always do, you can not fool children. They just know. RAI kids deserve better
The evening WH left the big House was the evening he lied, he told me he was going to a memorial for the anniversary of his deceased son. Lies all lies and truly morally bankrupt. I called it there isn't anything much lower than that.
I guess It was disgust after all, her circus and her monkeys.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Hi V, I did not drop any truth darts. I just cannot see any benefit from confronting her anymore. I just need to move on. I thought my Ws lies were most heinous, but I think you WH may have taken the cake! You don't deserve that!!!
Also, point taken re: labelling person vs. labelling behavior.
I am feeling really weird this evening. Like life is passing me by. Where did all those great feelings I had in the 80's go. There is still a young guy inside of me. I want to be him again. I want to be him, with all my friends. I am sitting alone, holed up in my bedroom. How on earth did I get here?
This always happens when I listen to 80's music. really messes me up!
This is a holding pattern, like a plane waiting to land. I am quite convinced the cake isn't a carrot cake more a horse cake.
Oh and yes, life is right there with you RAI, your subconscious is working with your higher power to make you whole. There are ying and yang phases to personal development, those times when we marinade are very good for us, they are our rest cycle and our active cycle.
We need these spaces.
Hey I am a gal of the 70s, Fleetwood Mac, Santana, and bell bottom jeans.
Can I recommend a switch to Pink Floyd and my era.
Peace man................
Love ya babe
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
