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TimR #2663113 03/16/16 10:52 AM
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Don't send the song. She will be thinking about it all day, if you send it that won't happen. I know it is hard. I struggled with not wishing my WW happy birthday but stuck to the plan.

NYGal #2663148 03/16/16 12:15 PM
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Originally Posted By: NYGal
I am seeing what works. I have mixed results with NC, good results with the occasional text, and bad results when we have R talks and I let her know I want the R back. I also have bad results when I resist her request for R talks. So I'm going to wait for her to contact me again about talking. And I will take it very, very slow.

But tomorrow I'm also going to send her the song I always play for her on St. Patrick's morning. Unless the consensus is DON'T!


No to the song. She left the NYGal that always played that song for her on St. Patrick's morning. She's interested, however, in this new NYGal. If she wasn't she wouldn't keep reaching out to you. Stay the new NYGal. Stick with what has produced positive results. Be the girl she can't stand to be without.



The future is as bright as you demand it be.
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I definitely agree with no to the song - definite pursuit and to be avoided. Yes, there are some touch 'n goes from her. I think the best approach is to respond with around 65% of her enthusiasm. You (like so many of us) still have a way to go before you will be okay either way. I truly only think you can successfully reconcile from that place.

As much as you can, please keep shifting your focus from her and onto you. Can you tell us a bit more about the growth work and GAL you are moving forward with?

smile x


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Sotto #2663312 03/17/16 03:00 AM
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Just to agree with all the others. Don't fall back into the old patterns. You have been working on the new you, keep going.


Me:48
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Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgoXmfL6H1I
Since I can't send it to W, I hope you all enjoy the song!


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
NYGal #2663726 03/18/16 06:55 PM
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Need advice. I stayed home sick today. The 2 minutes I was away from my phone I missed a call from W. Didn't call back, and it's now 12 hours later and I'm wishing I had. What should I do now?


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
NYGal #2663727 03/18/16 07:01 PM
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Did she leave a message?


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
NYGal #2663728 03/18/16 07:01 PM
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Did she leave you a message? If not, I don't see what the issue is. For all you know she might have misdialed.

Option 1- don't reply.
Option 2- send a text "I just noticed I missed a call from earlier, I'm available now if needed."

I like option 1.


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Originally Posted By: Painter
Did she leave a message?


Ah, you had me by 4 seconds! I so would have firsted this reply if my darn noodles didn't boil over right as I was reaching for the post button!


Me:38 XW:38
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No message but my friend reminds me that no message on a cell phone still means, I called, call me?


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
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