It's over...no more need to DB

[Zues126]

I'm doubly disgusted when I read this garbage. Once for you, for having to endure such a horrible blow. Once for me again, for being committed and loyal to XW and having her take that for granted and destroy our marriage in search of greener grass.

At my worst moments I hope she ends up with someone like your WAH so she someday regrets throwing away a man like me.

Then I take a breath, forgive myself for my moments of understandably human emotions of anger, refocus on myself, and go back to the work at hand. Please hang in and keep posting. And take care of yourself.

[AU Bob]

Boy oh Boy
Im so sorry for you.
I hope you can move on from it and find some peace.
Your self and your children should be your focus now, there is happiness to be had from that.
Do drop back in sometimes we have grown to feel for you and we can still be a support for you!
Good Luck.

[Pax_luv]

Broke, I'm so sorry to hear of this development. Look after #1- you! Take care of yourself.

[CWOL]

Sorry to hear this, do you best to protect yourself and your children!

[Cadet]

I think you still need to be here, DB is about saving yourself, whether your marriage survives or not.

You learn life skills that can be used in other areas of your life.

You do need to keep posting and moving forward, I am sure you are not done since you and him are still alive.
There will be plenty of interactions with him.

[G8r]

That is horrible information to discover Broke. I hear and feel your sadness and pain. The hit to an already open wound must feel unbearable right now. My heart goes out to you and your children. I hope they don't discover this information.

You are a strong woman who has been an inspiration to many people on this board. Hopefully we can return that to you at this very low point in your journey. We'll be here if you feel the need to vent and rant. This is a safe place for you to release some of the negative emotions currently rattling your soul.

I also want to make sure I thank you for your support in my sitch. Thank you!!!! You have made a difference for me. Vaya con dios.

[Scrant]

Broke, I'm so sorry for you. I agree with Cadet. I think deep down most of us realise that our M won't be saved but GAL, NC etc help us to detach and rebuild our lives. Throughout this process we need others to support and advise us, to not feel alone. I hope you stick around while you rebuild your life and lets hope good things happen to you in the future.

[GWH]

So sorry to hear Broke. Continue to work on number one "you", and i hope you still come here when you can to let us know how your doing. Remember we are all here for you.

[Sotto]

Hey Broke, I am so sorry to read of this my friend. I think you show much wisdom in your postings and it is good that you have come as far as you have. This is a very tough thing to discover - especially with a long M like yours. I can see that it must make the many happy times seem like a lie and I'm sure it will take time to work through your feelings about this.

As for being done - well of course you get to decide. Serial cheating is a deal breaker for many, understandably. It may not be a deal breaker for all. However, I do think it can be tough (from what I read) for serial cheaters to change. There is a need to address what underlies the need to cheat over and over - and normally the underlying factor is difficult to face (perhaps childhood abuse for example... Etc.)

Whether he wants to ask for another chance and whether or not you want to offer one will all unfold in time. However, do please know that this is all about him. A friend of mine (with a much shorter M) recently discovered her H has cheated throughout - even sending inappropriate texts to someone on their wedding night! They have two kids under five and she has just finalised their D, which I can understand. She just had no wish to try and save things, given all she had discovered.

I would encourage you to keep posting and I know from what you post that your growth will continue. Once again, I'm so very sorry and do take care xx

[1313]

Broke, so sorry to hear this - I didn't check in much yesterday. I'm really going to miss you. I hope you are at peace with your decision - you will find the right person or more to the point - they'll find you.

This is probably the decision most of us are trying to come to grips with. It's been great talking with you and I wish you the very best.