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Uphill Offline OP
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Just another day in the life of uphill. wondering what she's thinking. If she's actually doing any thinking... Gotta get out of my own head before I drive myself nuts!


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


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She's thinking, and thinking of you. Patience. Yell inside your head, "STOP!!" and think of something else. It almost works for me...


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
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I hear you. I struggle with this as well.

But remember, she doesn't deserve the power it takes for you to think about her.

I read this thing from Tony Robbins about negative thinking (in the Giant Within). He talks about doing whatever you have to do to break the pattern in your head. Yell at yourself... Say something so outrageous that you can't help but laugh.

I tell myself "It is not worth it to think about what may or may not be happening." Then I yell "Crazy Silly Po Lou Ka!!!!"

Po Lou Ka is something silly I say with my kids a different memory that immediately takes my head out of that space.


Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2
M - 8/2008
W is not happy - 1/2014
W wants D - 9/2014
W moved out - 11/2014
D filed - 1/23/2015
D'ed - 2/25/2015
Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
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Uphill Offline OP
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Thanks for the words NY and mahhhty. It's a place I don't like being, and I know my head doesn't belong. There was too much going on that I saw as positive and it sucked me right back in...


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 1,415
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Yes, we get sucked back in, then they dig in their heels and retreat. Who wrote the damn script? And why do they all read it?


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,016
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Uphill Offline OP
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The dim status I've been holding had her call this morning over some mundane things that I don't have to know about, let alone requiring a special call in the middle of the day. I waited until the third time in 10 minutes that she called to answer. Explained that I was busy and left it at that.


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 1,415
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Interesting that she's doing that, just like my W was. I still haven't heard from W since last Sunday, and I hate it. I miss the mundane phone calls!! But I'm not contacting her and waiting to see how long this goes on for. I know she's thinking of me. She has a lot going on now, and will be distracted. i hope ow gets sick of it.

Good luck, Uphill. Sounds like you handled it well. Always be nice when she calls, don't be annoyed. And yes, don't always answer.


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,016
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Uphill Offline OP
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Yeah, only a few days and it's like she had to check in. Continuing the trend and not gonna get sucked in. Let her do some wondering and chasing to prove if she wants it or not.


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,016
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Uphill Offline OP
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Last night had a few minutes of convo with XF about S4 things. She was very pleasant and cheery. I kept the convo on track and ended it once the necessities were talked about. I feel she may be ever so slightly be coming back around since I quit initiating contact again? Time will tell.


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 770
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Sounds like you are on the right track but no expectations or mind reading. Maybe cautious optimism. Keep us posted, I am "cautiously optimistic" for you!


M 44 H 46
M 20yrs T 25 yrs
S15 S12

ILYBINILWY 7/18/15
Move to MBR 9/8/15
Physical Separation 10/10/15
Suspect A 8/2015
Confirm A 12/27/15
D filed by H 2/2/16
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