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I'm keeping an eye on your thread, Up!

Easy does it...

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Uphill Offline OP
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I'm not changing a thing thorn! Not gonna become the pursuer at all this time around


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


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Fingers crossed, Up. Slow and steady wins the race.


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
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I'm hoping ny, this is how she started warming up a few days before the R talks started last time. I won't get drug into them after the results of that. I'll keep is short and sweet, let the tension build on her end. Not open up and put myself out there so easily!


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 1,415
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Up, I did the same thing, put myself right out there when W was saying how much she misses me and how empty the house feels and how much she regrets everything she did to destroy our relationship. I was sure I would be home by now to see my tulips coming up! But no. I was too available and it sent her back into ow's clutch.

Now I'm trying to give her the time and space she said she needed "alone" to figure things out. Alone? Ha! But whatever...


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,016
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Uphill Offline OP
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Here to make a confession, I did reach out to XF this morning. It was a simple good luck today. Got a thanks in return and left it at that. I wasn't going to and prolly shouldn't have but I had to... It's not me to ignore life events for anybody so it was more for my piece of mind than anything. I am the bigger person in all of this. Somebody only a fool would leave smile


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,799
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How are you feeling buddy?

Do you feel similiar to when XF left? I can only imagine all this recent contact and talk about moving forward has really amplified your feelings.

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Uphill Offline OP
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I'm alright buddy, it had me on quite the rollercoaster for a few days but I got myself leveled back out. Mainly I think I got my expectations back down to where they should be... They went way up two weeks ago with all the talking and hashing things out. He!!, She was talking about my new rugs not matching some of her stuff and how we would have to look for new ones when she brought her stuff?!?!

I'm still hopeful, as I had seen lots of action on her part towards conditions I put in place months ago. Started her new job this week. She just seems distant yet. I honestly thought the squirrel was tame enough but something scared her. It was eating from my had for like 5 or 6 days and then ran.

One big thing she mentioned when she backed off was that she wants to come back for the right reasons. Which I argree with. In her head (I know, believe half of what you see and none of what you hear) she doesn't know if she was moving that direction because it is what she really wants, for the kid, financial or if she doesn't want to be alone. Maybe a combination of all?

My personal take is with everything she has going on, on top of OM withdrawal, she's overthinking and put her walls back up. I'm prolly wrong but that is the most logical thing I can think of haha


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,799
Likes: 13
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Put that focus back on you. I see you spinning a little bit. She'll come back around, give her time to do so.

I'm sure she has so much going on in her mind that she doesn't know right from left.

You can do this.

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Uphill Offline OP
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Yeah, that's the plan. I took my eye off the prize (me) and was focusing too much on everything I was seeing and hearing. I really do feel better than a week ago. Not the same as I did a month ago but I'm getting there.

She really does have a lot going on. A lot of fairly deep things on top of changing jobs, being financially upside down, OM withdrawal and guilt... I know this is how the WW tends to deal with things, I just have a hard time comprehending why would you want to be alone to deal with all this? I would want the people around me who know me best at my toughest time.

A few of her issues were what she wanted time to "work on" when she left. Then along came OM and she used him as a bandaid on a gaping wound. From what I gather, that's why that didn't last. Honeymoon was great but then real life settled back in.


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


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