My W said she could flip a coin to decide which one of us to pick. It was humiliating. Finally I said go ahead. I won the coin toss but she still kicked me out and brought ow in to our bed. Grrrrrrrrrr.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Oh and just now he sent me a photo of his tablet with a film on in his Dad's dining room. With a message saying it was to prove that he wasn't lying and is at his Dad's!?!?!
Mine did the same. Only a picture is just a picture. I found out she was somewhere else when she sent the picture of her at her moms.
If your H feels he needs to prove his whereabouts and what he is doing let him. Doesn't change anything. Real actions are natural and not trying to prove something.
Hope things are better for you.
Irish
M51 XW43 (38 at bd) BD1 MAY 30 2015 BD2 JUNE 25 2015 by text moved out Aug 2 2015 left both Daughters 13 and 15 (now 18-20) Her divorce Final July 26 2016 Last time she saw her kids Aug 2 2015
Sorry for being absent for so long and thank you all for caring enough to ask how I am. I'm not really sure is the answer to that question. I think I've reached some kind of saturation point and am just getting on with things because nothing is changing and I just needed a break from talking about it all.
My Dad has had some of his tests and they have found nothing wrong so now he has to have more tests over the coming weeks but he feels fine so that's good.
Last week was eventful to say the least. I ended up being sent home from work in a state on the Wednesday because a colleague broke it to me that she has heart it is all around our village that H is having an affair with one of the women in the village. I almost collapsed from the shock and physical nausea feeling the news gave me. I went straight to confront H at his Dad's about it. He laughed at first and profusely denied it, despite me sitting in front of him in a complete state! Then he got angry that such a rumour was circulating about him and wanted to march off to confront the people saying it. He swears it is ludicrous and that he does nothing except work, sleep and come see the kids. After the initial shock I don't really feel anything about it. I think I have just had so much thrown at me to deal with by him that now I am just numb to it all.
At the weekend it was the anniversary of his Mum's death so I got flowers and cards for him and his Dad from me and the kids and we took them round. Not DBing but I am not going to change my thoughtful and compassionate nature just because I'm DBing. H couldn't have made us feel more unwelcome when we took them round so we only stayed a couple of minutes. He wanted us all to go out to tea later in the day but he didn't show so we went out just the three of us.
I'm just keeping myself busy with fun things with the kids and the basic hectic work of being a single Mum while working full time. It is exhausting. I'm exhausted and there doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day.
H is still the same. Coming round every evening if he isn't at work and just sits, doing nothing. S has had another rant at him about how much he hates him for what he's doing to 'us' and told him he doesn't want him to come round anymore.
I realised today that it will be 4 months next Tuesday since he left and still he apparently doesn't know what he wants to do. I feel like he has almost burned his bridges now. I don't want a divorce, don't want to be a single Mum but with all he's doing I'm not even sure anymore how I feel about him. This scares me and makes me so sad that if he does decide he wants to come back I won't want him to.
Going to try to catch up on everyone's situations now.
So good to hear from you. Glad to see that your dad test came back good and it's good they are trying to find out what is wrong with your dad.
Regarding your H I don't know what to say. I know it's very hard. My heart goes to you. I don't have anything to say apart that I'm glad that you are back and I missed you.
Keep being strong for your kids. It does get easier as each day goes back. I still love my STBXH, unfortunately I don't see any improvement in my situation. Could you limit his access to the house like I did with mine?
Hi IP Good news for your Dad. Hope the upcoming test help out.
Nice of you to show your sympathy to your MIL. Even if you felt unwelcome , you were there for you and the kids. Be true to yourself :-)
If H is in an affair. He will deny it. My W denied hers even when she moved on with him. I hope it's not the case but its part of MLC
You are numb and I understand your feelings about maybe not loving him or not wanting to take him back. Your H is now someone else. He's a stranger , how could you want or feel for him.
The memory is what you miss and are in love with. He's somewhere on a shelf waiting for this new H to take him down and become him again.
Many bridges will be burned. He will have to rebuild them all by himself. Sure if he does the work you can cheer him on. But don't try to give him any bricks, he'll throw those over the side in the river below.
I think you are at the stage where you are thinking about what you want. It's good. Take a step forward, let H follow you.
Hugs to you IP Still not easy I know
M51 XW43 (38 at bd) BD1 MAY 30 2015 BD2 JUNE 25 2015 by text moved out Aug 2 2015 left both Daughters 13 and 15 (now 18-20) Her divorce Final July 26 2016 Last time she saw her kids Aug 2 2015
Hey, IP. It has been 4 months...my time flies when you're having fun, right?
It get's old, this bit about not knowing what they want to do. I'm almost to that point of not waiting around for him to call...almost. Its still in the back of my mind (I still look at the clock to see if his work day is done sometimes), but hey...26 year habit. Plus he does throw me by randomly calling, much like your H just showing up.
I've gone back and forth on whether I'd want him if he came back, too. But I've decided that this fits an MLC so well, and that I've been seeing it evolve for years, even seeing changes since BD, so I will continue to DB the heck out of the sitch. My D is in full swing, and I believe it will end our M (on paper), but...still standing. Focus on me.
I see your changes. You are writing with a different tone. I hear the exhaustion and toll this situation is taking on you. But I think that is what makes you finally start to really see the importance of DBing, of focusing on you. He has his own journey, whether or not there is an OW doesn't even matter once you get so tired of the situation that you HAVE to just give up and focus on yourself. You are almost there. Don't feel the least bit guilty about that when you do. I think Zues said something about giving up on your M to save it. Drop the rope...be that single mom you don't want to be...you will do it and be fabulous. A woman only a fool would leave. Also, If you love someone, set them free...you know the rest.
You are almost there, strength buddy.
Happy that your Dad's tests were good.
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
Hi IP Just sending you some positive energy this morning
Hope you, your dad and your kids are all doing well.
Take care :-)
M51 XW43 (38 at bd) BD1 MAY 30 2015 BD2 JUNE 25 2015 by text moved out Aug 2 2015 left both Daughters 13 and 15 (now 18-20) Her divorce Final July 26 2016 Last time she saw her kids Aug 2 2015
