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Uphill Offline OP
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Maybe I'll take sotto's subtle advise and put a twist on it? I'll subtley tie her up and stash her in my basement until she sees things my way? Sounds perfect! Haha


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


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Uphill Offline OP
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I'm just gonna list a few things here to make lemonade and remind myself how much worse off my sitch could be.

There is defiantly a lot of thinking on XF's part
She has made changes which I said would have to happen to consider anything
There is still emotional attachment on her end
We had some small "future talk" last week, by her
She came clean on many issues and discussed how it led astray
Showed genuine remorse for many of those things


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,016
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Uphill Offline OP
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I'm just gonna list a few things here to make lemonade and remind myself how much worse off my sitch could be.

There is defiantly a lot of thinking on XF's part
She has made changes which I said would have to happen to consider anything
There is still emotional attachment on her end
We had some small "future talk" last week, by her
She came clean on many issues and discussed how it led astray
Showed genuine remorse for many of those things


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 466
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That is definitely some lemonade. Or at least sweet lemon water :p

What I wouldn't give for even one of those.
You're doing great my friend!


M:26 H:32 T:8yrs
ILYBNILWY/ "I'm not happy": 2/6/16
D-Day-discovered PA/EA: 2/10/16
Separated: 2/14/16 He's living with OW
I moved to different state: 06/16
Currently: Trying to move forward
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Stay the course mate, the ride is not over yet... Do you ever get the feeling the other shoe is about to drop?

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Hi all, I'm in a similar situation. I spoke with my DB coach today and she reminded me to always be upbeat and cheerful, not to talk to mutual friends or her family about the situation, to act as if I've had a revelation and am moving on, not to avoid interactions, but not to initiate them either, and always to end conversations or email or text threads first (i.e. don't be the last one to respond if possible.)
Also, not to try and solve her problems, just listen and validate. (She's been telling me she's anxious and depressed and worried that she made a mistake with the ow. Ha!) And to remember what she fell in love with in me, and manifest that person.
She also recommended that I re-read Sandi's 37 rules and commit to them for one month, starting today.
She said NC doesn't have to be completely dark, just dim. It's OK to interact if we can embody the 37 rules and not pursue.
Hope that helps.
I'm going to keep following you and see how it goes for you!


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
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^^^ I love that advice

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Uphill Offline OP
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Vapo, I'm not exactly sure what you mean by that?

Ny, that's awesome advise and right along the lines of what I was planning. As far as her family, I haven't spoke to any of them since this happened. The mutual friends haven't heard much of anything from me in a long time either.

Thorn, thanks for keeping up on this with me buddy!


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,016
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Uphill Offline OP
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Just come here to say good morning to all my friends instead of sending it to XF. Hope everybody's day is going well!


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,277
Likes: 8
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U,

I sense in you that your power of intuition is starting to awaken. Listen to your intuition (aka gut feeling).

V

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