REALLY trying to detach...but GALing regardless!

[- MB -]

LOL Ancaire! You would too, wouldn't you?! Might not be a bad thing. That means he'd have to come see me. Not many guys beating my door down these days. Ummm, as a matter of fact, he'd be the FIRST.

[- MB -]

MB Your GALing is inspiring to me. It truely makes me want to get out and make myself happy. To focus on something else.

Tyler, that's it exactly. I'm not really doing it because I WANT to, but because if I sit here in this apartment and stare at the walls I become fixated on H and the pain. I just can't take the pain anymore. I am using GAL to avoid the pain. It's been 3 1/2 months and I just need some relief. When I'm out of the house and surrounded by people, it takes my mind off of H even if only for a while. Right now I'm in the FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT stage. I'm hoping that eventually I get out and do things because I WANT to and not because I NEED to. Baby steps. That's all I can say, just baby steps.

[- MB -]

Anyway, my point is, please find some way to take the focus off H and OW. The more you think about them, even if its a fun "revenge" fantasy, the more they will occupy your life. The more you think about yourself, your kids, a hobby, etc, the more that will occupy your life. You have more power than you realize.

I do remember reading about this on Ancaire's thread but I haven't tried it yet. Was just wondering, if I think more about H and I getting back together, is that what will occupy my life? I have been trying that, but it hasn't worked well for me. Does that count?

[- MB -]

The place that H used to live was VERY small. How long have you lived there? H has been here for 10 years. If you have lived there longer, you guys surely bumped into each other while he was there. Probably OW as well. We usually spent more time in Pflugerville and Georgetown than where he actually lived. I did go to the SubWay to eat with him I several times though. .

I am going to say a prayer for you and your upcoming court date. Hoping that everyone involved will realize what a horribly stressful event had just happened to you and they will show you the mercy that you deserve.

[Ancaire]

Thanks, MB! I really appreciate the prayers.

We moved here in 2010 - probably after your H left. It is amazing how much it is growing! Houses, apartments, more restaurants - it's not such a tiny place anymore. It's grown a lot since we moved here.

Georgetown is on my short list of places to move. Round Rock, possibly - definitely not here. H will be in this area, and I can't stand the idea of running into him with his flavor of the month. It'll kill me.

I'll be much better off somewhere else, quietly working on myself, while he gets whatever this is (all right, I know) out of his system. I understand he has to go through it - I'm just not strong enough to stay here and watch him while he does.

So far, everyone has been incredibly understanding. It wouldn't have gotten this far, but for a few phone calls when H and his friend were trying to set me up in a position to be extorted. They had this great idea that his friend would drop the charges in return for me agreeing to H's divorce terms.

They did not foresee that state getting involved. There is no "dropping the charges" - now it's me vs. the state. Nice. My attorney's think because I've never even gotten so much as a traffic citation in the past, they may be able to work out something to get the charges reduced. I may have to go to Anger Management - which totally cracks me up. That is not one of my problems, but I guess you can learn new things in any setting. LOL

I also have H on tape with his lovely extortion scheme. His error could hurt him badly if he keeps playing so dirty. I hope we come to terms soon. I want out of here. I keep toying with the idea of moving up near Dallas...my mom lives there.

Tyler has crossed my mind, too. It's so lovely. Didn't you say you were near there?

[- MB -]

Yep. I'm very close to there. It is pretty around here. VERY hot and humid during the summer. Not all the traffic and people like around the Austin area. I don't think I could handle having to drive in that traffic every day. LOL.

Your sig line says that D was filed 9/15. Do you already have a court date or just papers filed? Do you think H will go through with it?

[Ancaire]

At this point, I think it's going through. We're still fighting over the settlement. I've been a homemaker for 21 years, while raising 5 children, and moving repeatedly to further his career.

He wants to toss me out the door with nothing. I disagree. From what I understand, this attitude is common among the MLC crowd. Because they've reverted to teenage levels of reasoning and maturity, it's all "mine, mine, mine". Even his L told him he can't do that - but he's still trying. He doesn't like anyone telling him what he can and can't do.

He's tried some really nasty things during all this - I haven't gone into all of it on this site. If I hadn't wrapped my mind around what was happening to him and why - I would seriously hate him right now. He would deserve it, too. He has never been this way in all the years I've known him.

He is a completely different person. Every once in a while I see a glimmer of the old H, but it's usually a glimmer - here and gone before I can even blink.

That is a huge part of the reason I'm not fighting him anymore. He's scaring me.

[Rain75]

Hi MB...I hope your absence here is because you are having a fabulous time GALing!:)

[- MB -]

Hi MB...I hope your absence here is because you are having a fabulous time GALing!:)

Hi, Rain! My absence was because I worked a couple of nights and then, yes, I was GALing tonight. I met my mother and a friend and we went and checked out the BINGO place. It was okay, nothing special there. Might have felt differently if any of us had WON, but we didn't. And, I had NO idea how dang expensive it is to play BINGO. UGH.

Anyway, after my mother left, I sat at the table for about an hour and talked to her friend (she's my age). She is recently divorced for the second time and is a support group on Facebook. She kept trying to get me to join Facebook so I could join their support group. Apparently, they do some charity work, meet for dinner/drinks, hang out and dance, and various other activities. We just sat there and talked. She told me about her bad marriage and stories she has heard from others in the group. Now, I am a very quiet, shy and passive person. I am a creature of habit and do not like to EVER get out of my comfort zone...that's why GALing has been so hard for me to pull off. Anyway, this woman is the complete opposite of me. She is known, happy, bubbly, love, adventurous, and a real people person. I really admire how she can just get out there and be happy with herself. I so want that! She has invited me out again tomorrow for crawfish and karaoke. Not into crawfish, and I can't sing, and they are meeting about 45 min from my house...but, I may just go anyway!

After talking to her for about an hour, I left and stopped by the store on my way home. As I was leaving, I thought I should drive by H house just to see if he's there. Funny thinng is, I really didn't care if he was or not. I mean, I REALLY didin't care! I went ahead and did it anyway, figured I was in the car already, might as well. Same thing, as I was driving by, I honestly didn't care that he was home. I really don't think I would have felt any differently had his truck NOT been there. What would I do about it anyway? Nothing! Then, I drove home. As I pulled into the parking lot a song came on that I like. I cranked it up and danced in my seat, then walked into my apartment with a smile on my face and greeted my teens who were in the livingroom watching TV. OH MY, what must the neighbors have thought??? I hope none of them went looking out the window and saw me. LOL. I then texted my mother's friend and told her she had been a real inspiration to me and that for the first time in 3 months, I came home HAPPY AND SMILING. Now, I know that I could sink right back in my black hole any minute...or never. But, for now I'm happy and couldn't care less what my H is up to.

I hope everyone is having a great night tonight. And, if I feel bad tomorrow, can someone please remind me that I was happy tonight, and that I will live even if H decides that he's too stupid to realize that I'm the best thing that has ever happened to him.

[Rain75]

MB that's great!

Forget the neighbor's lol I sing and dance everywhere. My kids think it's hilarious. Even checking the mail. I have my headphones on and I'll belt it out. Some people stare and whisper and some smile and I've even gotten a few clapping.

Maybe you should go out with her even if it is out of the way. I love karaoke. Super fun time even if you don't sing yourself.

Your sons must have loved seeing you walk in with a smile. You go mama

My GAL right now is reading my self help (aka get over him) books, my walks, working out, creating a new routine for my hair, watching shows I actually like and doing things for and with the kids. So your GALing is way better than mine!

My friends from back home may come in a couple of months. That I can't wait for. If I am lucky the genius will have started taking them for his visits by then and I can live it up. And if I'm down enough weight wise I will be dressed to kill. I hate that I let this get to me so much. During his PA part I gained so much weight.

And stay away from bingo, it is very expensive

Rain