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jjal Offline OP
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Good night of sleep last night, retired to bed at 9/9:15 and slept well enough, til 5:45.

Working on GAL this week. I've a few activities I'd like to explore, need to set all of that in motion. Need to join a yoga class right away, and then I'd actually like to take piano or drum lessons. I'm not musical at all, love music, but is something I've always wanted to try.


Me - Mid 40's
W - Mid 40's
Married 20
No kids
BD - 7/2015
ILYB...
Moved out 2 days later
Suspect EA
Joined: Aug 2015
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jjal! I'm really impressed! You've found specific things you're interested in. That is a huge start.

Have you done yoga in the past? I'm interested in it and would love to start. That shall be one of my goals!

Piano or drum...wow. You don't start small, do you? If you love music, you're probably way more musical than you think - you just don't know how to put it all together yet. Lessons will absolutely change that for you. Imagine, you could be playing Fur Elise in six short months on the piano. I'm pretty sure there's not a score for drums. LOL

I'm proud of you. Great job!


Me: 48 H: 50 - Married 21 - 3-S: 29,19,19 2-D: 27,26
BD: 08/2015 - D filed & OW disc: 09/2015

"Surrender to What Is, Let Go of What Was, Have Faith in What Will Be." -S Ricotti
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I've been looking through the MLC threads this morning, looking for inspiration and guidance. I found this little gem, and I'm going around sharing it with everyone I think it may be helpful to. Sometimes everything just gets to be too much, and I forget where I'm supposed to be focusing. It really helped me redefine where I want to go, and how I'm going to get there. I hope it helps you a bit, too.

Originally Posted By: ericmsant2


Consider the DB basic principals....

1) Healthy boundaries.
2) Better communication
3) GAL
4) "act as if"
5) Change how you look at things
6) Keep a positive outlook
7) Personal growth
8) Learning more about you so that you can be all that you can be.
9) Learning to avoid "cheese less tunnels"
10) Love and respect

These principals can be used in all facets of ones life. When used properly....they truly can change you from the INSIDE OUT.


Me: 48 H: 50 - Married 21 - 3-S: 29,19,19 2-D: 27,26
BD: 08/2015 - D filed & OW disc: 09/2015

"Surrender to What Is, Let Go of What Was, Have Faith in What Will Be." -S Ricotti
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 154
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jjal Offline OP
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Tons of MLC info all over the net, Judy. And all of it is all the same, it's uncanny how the "script" is used over and over.

Yes, I've done some yoga. It's actually pretty great for the mind, not just the body.

Hope you are doing well!


Me - Mid 40's
W - Mid 40's
Married 20
No kids
BD - 7/2015
ILYB...
Moved out 2 days later
Suspect EA
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 154
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jjal Offline OP
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No contact since last Wednesday. I am sure it is coming though, she's wanting to D super fast! Anyway, last Wednesday I congratulated her on her promotion. She replied back thanking me for that, thanking me for doing something for her parents, and then wished me a Happy New Year's. I was going to wish her the same, but I decided to stay NC. I feel bad because I didn't wish her a nice safe night at least, but couldn't bring myself to do it. I think I'm actually beginning to choose my own self-respect more than her.

Still even though I'm doing good during the day, the subconscious mind has other ideas for me. Waking up with my heart racing for whatever reason is troubling.

So, I know she has an EA, hard to deny that, and it probably has progressed a bit past that, no proof though. She's been gone for 6 months now, and on the BD date, I asked her if there was another guy, she said no. I found out who it was, and it was who I suspected a week after she moved out. I've not once mentioned his name or even let on that I know what is going on. I just let her go. Has anyone else ever not confronted about a sneaky relationship? I totally want to, I really do, because I want to see the look on her face, but I really don't want to put any emotional time into it. Same with him. I have his number and have his email address, and could absolutely confront him too, but, not worth my time. Better spent reading a book...


Me - Mid 40's
W - Mid 40's
Married 20
No kids
BD - 7/2015
ILYB...
Moved out 2 days later
Suspect EA
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,716
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Not confronted? Wow. I'm not familiar with anyone who let WAS think they were getting away with it.

I applaud your resolve to not invest any emotional time into her A - that is really strong of you. Care to loan me just a tiny bit of that resolve?


Me: 48 H: 50 - Married 21 - 3-S: 29,19,19 2-D: 27,26
BD: 08/2015 - D filed & OW disc: 09/2015

"Surrender to What Is, Let Go of What Was, Have Faith in What Will Be." -S Ricotti
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 154
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jjal Offline OP
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It has been tough, real tough. The resolve has been tested.


Me - Mid 40's
W - Mid 40's
Married 20
No kids
BD - 7/2015
ILYB...
Moved out 2 days later
Suspect EA
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 154
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jjal Offline OP
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First contact in 8 days this morning. An email saying she was coming by to grab something out of the remaining closet of junk she has. I think I am going to ask her if I can help her move the rest of that stuff out.

And I think I've decided to buy her out of the house. I want to stay there, move on when I am ready. This all feels so rushed, and I am happy living where I am.


Me - Mid 40's
W - Mid 40's
Married 20
No kids
BD - 7/2015
ILYB...
Moved out 2 days later
Suspect EA
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,716
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That sounds really good, jjal. Wow, are you letting her know, without being mean or sad, that you're moving on. Good for you!


Me: 48 H: 50 - Married 21 - 3-S: 29,19,19 2-D: 27,26
BD: 08/2015 - D filed & OW disc: 09/2015

"Surrender to What Is, Let Go of What Was, Have Faith in What Will Be." -S Ricotti
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 154
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jjal Offline OP
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I am not mean or sad, content, Judy. Life is good. Getting better.


Me - Mid 40's
W - Mid 40's
Married 20
No kids
BD - 7/2015
ILYB...
Moved out 2 days later
Suspect EA
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