Tonight she lost her temper at our 3 ur old after I asked him to play with me a little quieter as his 10m brother was just asleep. She came into the room roaring to stop yelling and dad told you! I said I am handling this he understands and she stormed off. After he went to bed I approached her and said. I understand you had a rough day at work and are wore out, at the same time I feel like the way you yelled at our son was uncalled for, there is no need to take things out on him. I started to walk away after that and she huffed and said look who decided to be a parent now! I smiled and maybe threw my own barb but said someone needs to. And kept on walking. Since she has dropped the moody attitude and we have had a couple small but good conversations. Not about R just things.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
Great news. I took back the bed tonight. I mentioned the air mattress was not working for me and she said I'll sleep on it. Ok. So come time for bed I went to her and said your going to sleep downstairs on the air mattress cause I need to move my stuff back up. W: oh ya. Ok So I grabbed my stuff moved it all back in. And as a parting gift shot a little spray of her Favorite cologne of mine that always did wonders for me in the corner of the room. Huge confidence booster. Then we were having a smoke before bed and she starts a "funny story" that leads to it being about OM. I looked at her and she says what. It's a funny story! Me: I see that it's a funny story at the same time I asked you not to talk about anything to do with OM. W: Ok. I'm sorry. Then I changed the subject to something else. She still talks about when she leaves and it still bothers me but not as much as even a week ago
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
Felt great when I woke up this morning. Feeling really positive right now. The self confidence i have is growing all the time and my ability to detach and not let W affect my mood and attitude is easier. I hit a bit of a hard spot last night as she was doing something and I couldn't help but stare as I was overwhelmed with attraction for her. She is still the most beautiful woman in the world. I took a deep breath and walked out before I said something or did something that would set me back. But my god it was hard not to run to her in that situation
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
Just another little thought that popped into my head.
Last night she asked me to move a coffee table so we could play crib I expressed my thoughts being that there is no point because we both know it doesn't work and it's easier to play at the kitchen table. But if she wants it moved she's a big girl and can move it. I will get te cards and board. She said ya your right lets go to the table. Geez what's with men being bitchy today?
I knew she must be arguing with OM and I don't care. I said grumpy? I am in a fantastic mood see? As I put a massive smile on my face. No come play this game with me so I can kick your butt. Haha.
Taking te focus off her and being a respectful in control man in my house is giving me a wonderful sense of self worth and knowledge I will be great no matter what. Not that if/when she leaves it won't be a hard time. I feel like I am setting myself up for it to be harder for her than myself tho.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
I couldn't help but stare as I was overwhelmed with attraction for her. She is still the most beautiful woman in the world.
If you only knew how many LBH's say those words! Here's the thing, Tyler. She may actually be very beautiful, but your attraction has become stronger b/c she is pulling away from you. It is natural to look at what you are losing and see how much you want it.
This is what I try to explain to the husbands here. It works the same way with wayward wives. The minute she thinks she's losing him.....oh boy, look out! Suddenly, she's pursuing him. She's full of questions about his activities (GAL) with what, where, and especially with whom. That is why we tell the LBH to step away from her and start living as if he is the most attractive guy out there.....who is not interested in women who cheat. Turn the tables, and you may just change the dynamics in the MR.
The secret is to keep it changed for good. So many H's get way too excited over the first little sign of pursuit (or just a smile) from her. He's ready to let her back without any work, MC, apology, anything. Those are the guys that end up coming back in a while b/c it didn't last. Don't take her back too quickly, and not too easily.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I knew she must be arguing with OM and I don't care. I said grumpy? I am in a fantastic mood see? As I put a massive smile on my face. No come play this game with me so I can kick your butt. Haha.
You surely did not say that out loud to her! Why are you playing a game together and talking about OM being grumpy? What's the deal here?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Can't remember if I mentioned this. I know I said I sprayed my cologne in the room I was in and she moved to. When she went down she txt me W: wow it smells like a French wh**e house in here Me: really? How so? Like body wash? W: no cologne could be body wash tho Me: weird I put some on this morning W: ya it just smells like you
That's where I left it. And happily fell asleep on my bed
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
It seems like you are still very very focused on why she is saying, doing and thinking. I think there are three things you can do right away that can help you. At least it will reduce your pain.
First, zero talk of OM. If she is ready to disrespect you with OM, she needs to do it alone.
Second, pull back and detach from her. You have got to me more focused on how you feel than how she feels. What she feels is not your problem. She fired you from that job.
Third, Are there any goals you can write down that are just for you, so make yourself a better person? Action goals, something we can measure?
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
Im worried that you seem to think that this is a game. That if you act like XYZ and say ABC and dont do QRS then your W will magically change her mind. It really doesnt work like that. Little "tricks" like the cologne dont really do anything. She can sense it's just a show for her.
Calm down. Stop worrying about HER reactions. Stop talking so much.
