She texted me with a good morning, how are you feeling thing this morning. She was telling me about a casserole she made for her dad, we made a couple of jokes, and I told I'm sure it's excellent, and that she's always been a good cook. She's coming to pick up D2 while I'm at work. Also asked if she could do a load of laundry while visiting with my sister when she goes. Not sure how I feel about that.
Me:36 W: 27 D2 T10 M:2.5 Filed D 1/14/16 BD: Sep 15 A Discovered: 11/17/15 She moves out 11/19/15
Sounds like her right to be happy trumps your marriage, and you as well.
Just what I pulled from what you typed.
Also, nice job with validating. Keep your feelings to a minimum - she won't understand your hurt for a while, right? No need to tell her.
What do you think, Nate?
No problem with the load of laundry - it's a nice friendly gesture. I wouldn't be hanging around listening to her and the sloshing of the water, though. Find something to do.
M46, EXWW46 M15 T17 D20, S19, D13 M - Addiction since 1998 W EA/PA #1 2013/2014 W EA #2 June 2015... BD 1 Big D talk 9/15 BD 2 - EA/PA disc 10/30/15 Served D 1/22/16 Divorced 5/25/16 (yes, that fast!)
That may be true for now, although it does not trump our daughter, no matter how much happiness she needs. And her happiness is only supplied by other people. She needs people to admire her, or she feels worthless. Kind of where we went wrong
Me:36 W: 27 D2 T10 M:2.5 Filed D 1/14/16 BD: Sep 15 A Discovered: 11/17/15 She moves out 11/19/15
Sounds like her right to be happy trumps your marriage, and you as well.
Just what I pulled from what you typed.
Also, nice job with validating. Keep your feelings to a minimum - she won't understand your hurt for a while, right? No need to tell her.
What do you think, Nate?
No problem with the load of laundry - it's a nice friendly gesture. I wouldn't be hanging around listening to her and the sloshing of the water, though. Find something to do.
I'm at work, so won't be there.
Me:36 W: 27 D2 T10 M:2.5 Filed D 1/14/16 BD: Sep 15 A Discovered: 11/17/15 She moves out 11/19/15
W called me when I got home. Wanted to tell me how daughter had accidentally fallen and bumped her cheek against my exercise bike. She had a red mark on her face. W had been reading up about it on the internet, and was worried it might be "slapped face syndrome"? I said I'm sorry, and that I'd never heard of it, but I would look it up. I told her I was confident that she would take care of it. Talked to D2 for a couple minutes, and then said my goodbye. W said she would talk to me later. 10 mins later, W calls and says that D2 was asking for her iPad so she could watch her nursery rhymes, asked if it was at all possible for me to bring it over. I told her that would be fine. Drove over to her place, dropped off the iPad, sat with D2 for a few minutes while she watched her nursery rhymes, chuckled a bit with W about how stompy her new upstairs neighbors were. Then I put D2 back down on the couch, and got up to leave. W smiled a little bit and said thank you. I said you're welcome, and left. Very civil I thought.
Me:36 W: 27 D2 T10 M:2.5 Filed D 1/14/16 BD: Sep 15 A Discovered: 11/17/15 She moves out 11/19/15
Well, I lost it a bit tonight. Not confrontational I mean. This last week, W had been a lot more chatty. I had D2 up until last night. This morning, she brought D2 to our neighbor who babysits during the day. She brought her over just as I was leaving work so I could say good morning to her. No texts or anything all day. I got off work, went to run some errands and get the rent check. Got home just as W was picking up D2. Saw her again and said goodbye. Didn't get any calls or texts until it was D's bedtime. Called W. W was being somewhat rushed in letting me talk to her, trying to get her to say goodnight as quickly as possible. Finally got a goodnight and ILY out of D2. Just as we were about to go, W tells me how 2x tonight, D2 has blurted out almost whole sentences. I said, that's really great. I'm happy to hear that. Hung up the phone, and went outside to dig my car out of the snow drift I got stuck in trying to go to work this morning, and it hit me. HARD. Missing moments like that with my child just destroy me. I broke down in the parking lot, just sobbing away. I miss my D2 terribly when she's not here. And W has been very distanced since last night. I haven't been pursuing, bringing up anything with her. She just seems to have shifted again. Still not going to text or call her. I'll let her talk to me, but, still it's hard.
Last edited by NateG79; 01/05/1604:01 AM.
Me:36 W: 27 D2 T10 M:2.5 Filed D 1/14/16 BD: Sep 15 A Discovered: 11/17/15 She moves out 11/19/15
W being chatty, goofy and playful again in a series of texts this morning. I feel like someone had ninja'd my brain. This after near total darkness yesterday.
Me:36 W: 27 D2 T10 M:2.5 Filed D 1/14/16 BD: Sep 15 A Discovered: 11/17/15 She moves out 11/19/15
Why do I get the distinct feeling I'm being buttered up for something. W initiated some text conversations this morning, some back and forth snap chats this afternoon, including after she got home with D2. Then texts me to ask what Brand and model of mattress is in D2's crib here at my home. She had to buy a crib because D2 will not sleep in the toddler bed. Acting very erratic. I know the W doesn't have a lot of money to work with. She's only paid her rent, and only has about $550 left in account, with all her other bills left to pay. All this chattiness has got my abandonment issues acting up, and putting me extremely on guard. Very uneasy.
Me:36 W: 27 D2 T10 M:2.5 Filed D 1/14/16 BD: Sep 15 A Discovered: 11/17/15 She moves out 11/19/15
Okay, new update. W texted me that D2 was going to bed. Called and said goodnight. Shortly after I hang up, I get a text message that says "ok baby", about 20 mins later, I get a reply from the W.
Her: Hey, sorry my voice recognition button got hit while talking to cora.
It started to bug me, and I had to ask...
Me: Please don't get defensive and we're being brutally honest, but it's bothering me now, and I have to ask. Was that text really an accident, or was that meant for someone else?
Her: I knew as soon as I saw it that you would be upset and I wasn't sure where it came from but then I remembered that when cora hung up, I was putting my phone down and turning it over so the light didn't distract her and I heard the mic button come on and I just exited out. I didn't see it til I picked up the phone to tell you about her bed.
Me: Okay. And please know I'm not trying to start anything. Just...that you do understand how that would make me feel. It's an easy trigger.
Her: You made damn sure my affair was over... or don't you remember that... I'm not trying to start [censored] either nate. It was an accident.
Her: You are not the only one in emotional turmoil. You are no the only one who feels betrayed. You didn't betray me in the way I did you but you have betrayed me in more ways that one. I do everything I possibly can to remain calm and stay cool headed. It's not fair that you get to be the only one venting and struggling with a broken heart. Even the pieces I had left of my heart have been shattered now... I am just taking one day at a time trying to stay positive and productive.
Me: I understand that. And while I do know that it may have been an accident, I also know texts don't send themselves. That's why I'm asking. I'm sorry that you're hurting that way.
Her: I told you the truth. I am going to sleep. I will see you at tumbling tomorrow Nate.
I've had suspicions that either, the affair didn't end, or she might have jumped to a new person. Thoughts? Opinions?
Me:36 W: 27 D2 T10 M:2.5 Filed D 1/14/16 BD: Sep 15 A Discovered: 11/17/15 She moves out 11/19/15
