I am holding out hope for her to return to the marriage, and like you, do not want the old one. It was falling apart, I know that now. Knew it then too, but hard to make a change sometimes. However, we are barreling towards divorce. Packing up the house, splitting assets, and separating our lives all around the holidays. And that all but snuffs out any glimmer of hope that I have.
She has cut her parents out of her life. More so than ever. And that's terribly sad. It's an end of innocence in our families.
Getting close to the 6 month mark, and I go back and forth on what I want. I see it all as terribly selfish and cruel, yet, I know MLC is tough on a person. I worry that meeting to catch up, will cause me to not be able to detach completely.
The goal in coming to DB was to save the marriage. Still is. However, I feel as if I've tried everything except rushing in like a bull and blowing up, and nothing has worked. I've made improvements in myself, and taken a step back on a few other things. Still lots to do.
Me - Mid 40's W - Mid 40's Married 20 No kids BD - 7/2015 ILYB... Moved out 2 days later Suspect EA
Replied to latest email from wife about her new position, and house. I congratulated her and told her I was proud of her. She responded today, thanking me for the sentiment, and thanking me for taking care of computer issues for her parents, as well as wishing me a happy new year's.
Also, she wanted to "catch up" with a drink, if I wanted to. I did not address that.
I'm supposed to be NC, but replied anyway since she was planning to drop something off at the house that wasn't necessary. I suppose I can do the friendly thing and respond to her happy new year's wish.
Me - Mid 40's W - Mid 40's Married 20 No kids BD - 7/2015 ILYB... Moved out 2 days later Suspect EA
How does she know you took care of computer issues for her parents? Did you tell her, or did they? If they did, she's in some contact with them.
If you're not comfortable meeting up to "catch up", then don't, but do be pleasant and wish her a Happy New Year's.
H texted me at Christmas to wish me a Merry Christmas, and I just ignored it. Looking back, I feel like it was a bit petty - but I'm practicing NC, too, as much as I can. I just didn't see the point. Now, I'm thinking it would have at least been pleasant to respond.
This whole thing is so confusing - I don't even know which way is up anymore.
For you, I find it interesting she wants to meet. Is she missing you? Is that a good sign? How long has it been since you've spoken with her? Does she check in often? A lot of WAS do, you know. The pros around her call it "temperature checking" - making sure you're still where she left you. The best thing is to be too busy to meet. You're so busy and fulfilled in your new life, you're not missing her at all.
You want her questioning her decision, thinking about it. If she thinks you're moving on, it may be enough to get her to really think about what she's doing. You've done really well, I think, staying out of contact with her. She's got to be curious. She really wants to hear you're pining for her, and counting the days until she returns. For a lot of WAS, finding out the LBS isn't doing that causes flat-out panic.
What do you think she's hoping to gain by meeting to "catch up"?
I'll respond to her email later, wishing her a happy new year's. Friendly thing to do I guess.
Well, she is in contact with her parents, just not good contact. They hound her about her decision, and she cuts it short.
To catch up, who knows what she has in mind. Or if it is even a good sign at all. I've not seen one change in her steely demeanor since this happened 6 months ago. Surely not to talk about us, probably just to tell me about her new position at work. Maybe something medically related as she has had a skin cancer spot removed.
Me - Mid 40's W - Mid 40's Married 20 No kids BD - 7/2015 ILYB... Moved out 2 days later Suspect EA
I still haven't responded to her "I hope you have a Happy New Year's" email. Some mental block, or me, just not wanting to. Tomorrow is the 6th month anniversary of BD, and I just keep reliving it all, over and over. The betrayal and deception, and all that's come since then, really wears on me. It's entirely taxing.
Great 1st day to the year. No drinks tonight, house cleaned, grocery shopping done, visited with friends for 2-3 hours, and got some exercise in. Hoping for more of the same tomorrow.
Me - Mid 40's W - Mid 40's Married 20 No kids BD - 7/2015 ILYB... Moved out 2 days later Suspect EA
jjal - I haven't responded, either. I don't know if it's mean, or not...I just can't think he means it - so why is he bothering? If he wanted me to enjoy Christmas or New Year's then where is he?
I keep taking 2 steps forward, and 1 step back. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I just need to toughen up, I guess.
I'm so glad you got the New Year off to a good start! I had a crying jag that lasted for hours. Had to go to sleep, and after I woke up, I was determined to start moving forward. I just am still so confused as to how the person who loved me so much, can be content while I am hurting so very badly. How does that work?
Keep posting, my friend. Maybe we'll figure something out!
Yesterday was good, today not so much. Today is the anniversary of BD, 6 months ago. I pressed pause on all of this a week before Christmas, and I know that tomorrow she'll send me an email to start the process rolling again.
I've not left the house all day. My body is tired. I'm mentally exhausted. I may have to get out for a few, drive around the block a few times.
Me - Mid 40's W - Mid 40's Married 20 No kids BD - 7/2015 ILYB... Moved out 2 days later Suspect EA
Had to go to sleep, and after I woke up, I was determined to start moving forward. I just am still so confused as to how the person who loved me so much, can be content while I am hurting so very badly. How does that work?