This fence-sitting is a load of horse sh*t if you don't mind me saying. You're worth far more than that. 180 the sh*t out of him. You are really too good to be treated like this. He's being a total ass. Ladies, you really don't have to take this kind of sh*t. There are plenty of men out there in this world that will treat you like queens. If he wants to be a good man then you want him. If he wants to be a fence sitting assh0le then you really don't want him. If you detach and move on he'll come around. He keeps fence sitting because you're giving him all the power over this decision. My wife was fence sitting until I removed my side of the fence as a choice. Then, as if by magic, suddenly that was the only side of the fence she wanted.
TxHubby--I don't mind you saying at all!! It IS crap, and he is being an Ahole, for sure. My 180s and LRT were/are most definitely working, so that is what I will keep doing. Gotta up my GAL game tho, and keep detached. This fencing sitting thru me for a loop. He threw me just enough life preserver that I let go of my own raft, and I started to sink. I got this.
Part of me feels grateful that at least he not saying he is def leaving, but another part of me feels this is much harder---walking a tightrope so he doesn't jump ship.
I truly feel he loves me and doesn't want to leave(or maybe that is just wishful thinking) But I am pretty sure he is MLC, as he keeps saying he wants "to live life," "find passion--blah, blah, blah. Not sure if there is an A or not.
Me 47 H 49 S18 S15 M 21 BD #1 11/09/15 ILYBNILY I believe we are Piecing 1/2/16 Suspect EA/PA? 2/28/16 BD #2 "He tried, but needs passion." 2/28/16 Confirm PA 3/11/16, he's leaving in June H leaves 5/7/16
Melweb, I'm in a similar situation. SO can't decide, and it's been since the beginning of November (just like your sitch), which seems like an eternity to me. She's home visiting family, and except for a brief text yesterday about "thinking about you today", she has not contacted me. On my post, I call it a Rollercoaster ride, and it's definitely fence sitting on her part. I too can say "I truly feel [s]he loves me and doesn't want to leave..." but the OW just looks so purrrrrfect to her right now.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
I think my H was fence sitting for about 4 months, until he chose OW over me! Looking back, I wished I had detached and GAL as I feel him choosing her was because in a kind of way I was pursuing him! I know it's hard, nevertheless you have to try your best to be the best you.
Thanks for for the responses NY and Rouky. I really am ok, tho at times it hard to tell.
NY, being in the same boat, I have no wise words for you. But as Rouky says, be the best you can be :
I believe we are making progress, but I guess even that could change in a moments notice. One minute he talks about "our" future, and the next, he is not even sure about tomorrow.
Lots of plans with kiddos this weekend, but then I GAL it up!! I want to go ice skating (by myself) , and then catch some live music for NYE(by myself)
Me 47 H 49 S18 S15 M 21 BD #1 11/09/15 ILYBNILY I believe we are Piecing 1/2/16 Suspect EA/PA? 2/28/16 BD #2 "He tried, but needs passion." 2/28/16 Confirm PA 3/11/16, he's leaving in June H leaves 5/7/16
I went to the library tonite. Lame, I know. But it was 6:30 pm, weather was getting bad, but I had to make a move.
Usually after dinner, I sit with him at the table and we chit chat. No sooner had I sat down tonite, then he says he's tired and going to bed. It was 5:30 for crying out loud. Whatever dude.
I have a question tho as I up my GAL game. . Do I tell him I am leaving? Or just walk out?
Me 47 H 49 S18 S15 M 21 BD #1 11/09/15 ILYBNILY I believe we are Piecing 1/2/16 Suspect EA/PA? 2/28/16 BD #2 "He tried, but needs passion." 2/28/16 Confirm PA 3/11/16, he's leaving in June H leaves 5/7/16
You plan your own schedule. You don't have to consult with him. If that bothers him then tell him that he's the one that doesn't want to be part of the team. You plan your comings and goings with your team. He's welcome to be part of that team but there are rules/standards to live by. Being loving, honoring, caring, respectful, AND faithful are a part of those rules. Your team has value. Not everyone can join. You do what you want to do. It's your time now.
Mel, I have gone to the library many times to get out, also church and thrift shops. My life is so exciting! I usually tell H "I am going out, you've got the kids" and usually I will say if I will be back in time to put the kids to bed or I ask if he can do it.
I slowed down on going out though because of exhaustion from not sleeping. How are you doing with your sleep? (I changed names a couple of times, we had discussed this when I had a different name.)
This fence-sitting is a load of horse sh*t if you don't mind me saying. You're worth far more than that. 180 the sh*t out of him. You are really too good to be treated like this. He's being a total ass. Ladies, you really don't have to take this kind of sh*t. There are plenty of men out there in this world that will treat you like queens. If he wants to be a good man then you want him. If he wants to be a fence sitting assh0le then you really don't want him. If you detach and move on he'll come around. He keeps fence sitting because you're giving him all the power over this decision. My wife was fence sitting until I removed my side of the fence as a choice. Then, as if by magic, suddenly that was the only side of the fence she wanted.
TxHubby, I loved this post. You are 100% right, and I like your direct approach. I am stealing this quote and pretending it was directed at me.
