Recent Hurricane 2

[NateG79]

I agree Sandi. One thing I have prided myself on through this whole thing, I never really lost the identity of who I am in all this. My relationship never defined me. I've achieved many things in my 36 years. Things that most people couldn't dream of, and it's made me who I am. If I ever doubt that, I just look back on all that I have achieved in that time. Although I'm not where I was hoping to be at this point in my life, I'm still proud of my accomplishments.

So, to follow up on today. My WW calls me this morning, said she really misses D2, and wants to see her. We had a bad blizzard and the roads are bad. I told her my work was cancelled because of the blizzard so I was home today. She asked if it would be alright if she could come over. She told me she'd been up since 7:15 but hadn't gotten out of bed yet (it was 1:15pm). Also texted me that she really needed to see me and D2, which I thought was odd. She came over, played with D2. She brought me treats that her grandmother had made like a cheese log, pecan sandies and bananabread. We ate, chatted a little. We didn't talk at all about R. She then thanked me for letting her come over, and went home before the weather got worse.

Also, another interesting development. The OM called me last night. Told me he was very troubled about what had transpired. It was weighing heavily on him. This guy is a devout catholic, and my wife is a non-christian. I asked him, why are you harming your family like this. He didn't know what to do. He sounded very immature for 35. I told him he needed to grow a f&*%$ pair, and drop my wife like a bad habit and focus on his own family (which he stated he loved his perfect family). Pffffft, whatever dude. I know that my WW spearheaded all of this. This guy is too much of a pushover to mastermind anything. This was my W aggressively pursuing. He asked if I could take back my wife. I stated what I do between me and my wife is my business and not his, and he needs to refocus on his "perfect" family. I told him, since his wife doesn't know, he should probably talk to his Deacon at church, or a parent that he trusts, and grow a pair, and stop f*&%$ing up other peoples families. He said he was grateful to talk to me, and then hung up. Wondering if the fantasy world is starting to collapse.

[sandi2]

I stated what I do between me and my wife is my business and not his, and he needs to refocus on his "perfect" family. I told him, since his wife doesn't know, he should probably talk to his Deacon at church, or a parent that he trusts, and grow a pair, and stop f*&%$ing up other peoples families. He said he was grateful to talk to me, and then hung up. Wondering if the fantasy world is starting to collapse

Wow, an OM with a conscious? Guess he thought if you'd take back your WW, he'd have her off his back before he got into more hotter water. Whatever.......

[trumpet]

Nate,

You were more of a man that I would have been. I know Sandi and divorce busting isn't about blowing the affair out in the open, but I did that in my case.

Do you plan to tell his wife or family?

Sounds like he wanted you to do his dirtywork. He knows he pooped his pants, but he's not prepared to clean up the mess. I think OM having a conscious is very, very good thing for you. The OM in my relationship is supposedly a 'Christian', but had no issue destroying a Christian family by Facebooking my W, and then getting what he needed from my W, since his M is in divorce, and he was in multiple affairs. The crazy thing - my W still thinks this turd of a guy is awesome, and still loves him, and sticks up for him. She believes the OM's STBXW is all to blame.

Man, Nate, keep up working on yourself. Be there for the daughter. It sounds like you WW is about to really get a sniff and feel of the load she put in her pants months ago.

Keep us up-to-speed on your situation. I bet you have some updates for us this week!

[WhyUs]

Nate,

I love how you handled the other man. No BS, told him like it was.

[NateG79]

Thanks guys. When I asked him what his feelings for her were he just said very passively, "I mean, I care for her." I said, "Do you love your wife and family?" He says yes. He didn't specifically say he would break it off, but he said he would call his father and confide to him about it. Hopefully his dad sets him straight. I can say, if he doesn't do the right thing, I will tell his wife. I told him not to yet, because it would destroy his wife, and she would take everything from him in a divorce if she proceeds to do it. I told him I'm giving him a chance to handle this like a "man of god" should. And get with his Deacon at his Parish before I do.

She did seem to be in a bit of crisis mode yesterday. We had a short interaction via text today.

Her: Hey Nate, how is Cora?
Me: She's doing just fine today. She ate, she's watching her youtube mothergoose channel.

Her: Of course lol, is she still snotty today?
Me: Not as much today. Just a little, but I've already given her tylenol and dimetapp.

Her: How do her eyes look?
Me: They're fine. She's actually well rested.

Her: Can I tell u something without you getting defensive?
Me: Yes

Her: It truly makes me happy that she is sleeping well. I feel like you are rubbing it in how rested she is and how well she is sleeping because you know she was having some trouble her for awhile. But she's sleeping better now that she had the playpen.
Me: I'm sorry, that's not my intent.

Her: Ok, I just wanted to tell you that's how I felt so that I wasn't resentful.
Me: I appreciate you being honest with me. I promise I'm not trying to rub something in. I felt maybe it would ease any worries you may have.

Her: Ok thank you. I am happy. I miss her like crazy.
Me: I understand that feeling.

Not much to report after that. Just some chit chat about the snowpocalypse we had.

Been a little sad today, as we're snowed in, and not a lot to do.

[trumpet]

Lots of snow for us today in WI. Where are you at, Nate?

[NateG79]

Lubbock, TX of all places

[trumpet]

Well, Lubbock doesn't strike me as a place that has many plows. Can you drive on the roads?

We're stocked and ready... but winter has been very kind to WI this year, so many people are getting caught flat-footed. Bad tires, no winter gear, not accustomed to driving in snow. Lots of accidents so far. The plows will be out for the next 24 hours.

Time to read another book!

[NateG79]

No driving, no.

[NateG79]

Wow. What a night.
Update here:

So the OM contacted me again. Said he wants to break it off, as he's not willing to give up his family. I told him, if that's what he wanted, then he needed to send a no contact text, and he needed to image it and send it to me as proof of cutting it off.
Confronted WW spouse last night after talking to him and blew the whole lid off the A. She stated that she knew that he had told me that he would not leave his family, and that she had already broken it off. We had a big discussion, including a variety of things. I did a LOT of validating and just letting her vent. She had a lot to say concerning the end of her A, and where this left us. Very fragile time right now. Have a coaching session tomorrow night, and we'll see where this leaves us. My brain is fried right now. WW texted this morning checking on D2, and asked if I could video chat with her so she could see D2. We did for a short while, and then WW told me that she was going to go to sleep for awhile as she was mentally and emotionally exhausted. I know I'm at a very fragile place right now with all of this. Hoping for some uplifting words.