Hi Lady V You get a lot of thanks on this site and you really spend so much time helping others I hope you don't mind but I have a few thoughts that I would like to share
You seem to blame yourself way to much and accept blame where there is none
Yes , it's possible that you could have had a part in the demise of your M but to be honest I do t see this H had serious issues to deal with and Lady V putting herself forward as an issue just does not fit Your intelligence shows that while not perfect your not far off
You seem to looking for answers where there aren't any. H chose his path and I don't think V made any difference to the outcome
Your posts are incredibly insightful and caring and I enjoy each one
I do worry that you take on to much re the blame of the sitch
However. Thanks for being Lady V. Your a huge asset to the site
Merry Christmas Vanilla, thank you for all your kindness, directed towards me and all the other people in this "world". You effort has made my life a better place. Be well my friend
Merry, merry Christmas to you beautiful. Hope your day is filled with lots of laughs and warm moments shared with friends.
Thanks for stopping by my thread and saying the way it is. I think you hit the nail in the head.
I am amazed with all the info you posted lately. With that I can look back and say that it is probably what happen to my mom and she was just frozen in fear, panic, depression and anxiety.
It's also good for me to understand that the abuse of spanking me so much was also a kind so sickness my mom develop for living her life beside my idiot father.
Thanks for that V, you are indeed very amazing as we all have the experience here.
Now, regarding you. I am very proud of you!!! As much as it hurts, or it confines you to a corner sometimes, it is also the reason to give V the strength to keep moving forward. V is a person of knowledge and you need to know and understand all what it is and is happening to V. And I am quite sure you are driving on the right road here and you will find a destination where your heart will be in peace again.
Pink is not so much about knowledge, is about feelings and life is always up and down. So, I am learning with your journey that sometimes understanding what is going on with and around us makes our feelings more settled.
I would also say that being raised by an abuser and grow up among other abusers, I developed a hard skin would say. For some reason, instead of fear, I developed a sense of protection.
Since very little I learned to stand up for myself and developed the courage to look into the eyes of the abuser and say: You can do it all, but it will never destroy me.
V, I know in my heart that soon enough you will feel free of all these symptoms left by years of incredible pain. My mom is a happy person now. I remember the fear she had right after she divorced my dad. It was something I could not really understand.
Today she sometimes laugh remembering that she found our later on that I had called my dad and told him that if he would put a finger on her I would take the first flight and that he would better hide well because I would go even in hell after him and finish with his skin, that even his smell would not be left.
But my mom is happy and that is what is important. And I know V will be happy and feel the freedom of peace inside and outside her heart very soon. It's a day by day learning process. It's a painful process to understand and accept, but V will endure the pain, understand the past she could not control and the future she can build, and tomorrow is waiting to be lived with joy and dignity.
I love you V and wish I was there to give this ex hubby of yours a lesson... those like the hooligans, Ha Ha. Maybe that is what he needs, to be measure by someone that will put him in his place once and forever.
Well, you probably laughing now, maybe it is the Pink way to solve stuff. Just know that I pray and think about you every day. And I know in my heart that you will be a victorious V and have the happy life you deserve.
