RAi This is the first bout with anger for me. I am sure there will be more as the instance fades away. I am def keeping it bottled inside and will make sure I release in something constructive.
She did just come by. My S4 yelled no when she got out of her truck. He said what are you doing here. She told him he said ok I thought you were trying to pick us up. Crazy. I am not sure how she takes that. I stayed busy with my truck and had D get stuff from her. She dropped some stuff next to me telling me it is some files she found that were mine. I said thanks and continued. Kids were in their own world so she said bye to them and left.
Right after a female neighbor with kids the same age came out and we spoke for a few. She eventually asked how everything is going I told her ok considering. She seemed very sad for us. She expressed some things about wife before she moved and I kind of just validated and said it is her journey for happiness.
RAI It is crazy how many same stories here. It is sad. I don't know what the future holds but with the anger I feel closer to not caring as much as I can't live this way.
I have been keeping up with you and reading a lot. I will drop a line.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
Got D7 on the bus this morning and she was not the happiest to know she wasnt coming home after school. S4 was the same as i dropped him at school.
I did here D7 tell wife on the phone this morning that she is having xmas here (meaning my house) because it is her home. W did not really respond.
I am going to get busy on some projects i have been wanting to start tonight. Prob hit the gym as well. I know i have some friends that are aware of my situation that will want me to go out with them, but it isnt really good for me right now. I find myself looking around and saying to myself this is ok and I can see myself out in the singles scene again, but then i sit back and know it is not what i want.
Going to play golf both Saturday and sunday. I also need to get xmas shopping done.
So should stay nice and busy.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
Struggling a little at the moment. Had a decent weekend and good time. W wanted to take the kids to see Santa at the switch today. Everything was fine. Didn't sit around with puppy dog eyes. Consumed my time with th kids. We all ate a quick lunch together and then we rode to my truck together. I loaded the kids and turned to say goodbye and looked her in the eyes. Thought I saw something in the look back. I now have such an urge to find a reason to call her or something. I think spending a little time really made me miss her. I wanted to ask her if she wanted to have dinner with us. I know it is probably just from my wants and desires and shouldn't do anything.
I guess I am typing here instead of doing anything.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
So I figure now that i have had a nights sleep I will come back and give some more information on my last post and especially now that I have had a chance to process a little more
So Friday the kids went to school and W is scheduled to get them. I have noticed the weekends are rough either if i have kids or not. If i do not have them i struggle to find something to occupy my time that does not involve heading out with friends to bars or something. I really do not want to do this. When i do have the kids I find my self wondering what is going on in the other world of my W.
So i know right now i am going to be planning better for the weekends and keep busy productively. Saturday speaking to the kids they were in the truck with W and mentioned going to see santa on sunday and they wanted me to go. I asked W the deal, and she said she is meeting her friend and her kids there and wanted to know if I wanted to meet them. I accepted as I have not taken kids yet because i figured we should all go together anyway for the kids.
Sunday came and met them. Everyone looked great. W, kids and I all had some lunch after and we talked a bit about this and that. W drove us to my truck on the other side of the mall after to get backpacks etc..As we were all giving goodbyes her and I had a quick second of looking at each other. It was a different look than recent. When we were eating i made sure to look her directly in the eyes while we were talking. This may have been an extension from that.
Now before i continue I do not want to sound like a jerk, but at that risk i need to explain something. Before W and i were together and even after I have had no problem getting attention from women. Through the years I ahve been able to pick up on just simple ways they look at me and read it very well. Sorry if that sounds extremely cocky or whatever, but... So when i caught this look from her i immediately knew this was different. I have seen this once or twice since she moved. So this got me going and wanting to extend more communication. I am not stupid and can see that I may be looking way to far into something in a look that I could easily be wrong about. Even if I wasnt wrong this thought of hers could have come and gone just as fast. So after the occurrence earlier this week with thinking there is someone else to this I am all messed up. I know i should just let it go because I am doing all of this in my head without anything actual on either front. I will say this that siting here typing this is actually helping me work through it all!
So my take aways from all of this is, stay the course, focus on GAL for weekends with and without kids, and read DR again. I started reading it again and crazy what you can pick up when you are not in the same frame of mind as last time.
I am going to come back with a question I really need help on in a different post regarding the holidays, but i dont want it to get lost with this post.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
Looking through the calendar the kids are scheduled to be with me on XMas eve and then until the afternoon on xmas day.
I have a divorced friend who told me for the first year we should still try to find a way to all do xmas together. he said maybe ask if she would like to show up early xmas morning before kids wake up or stay the night before. I am not sure if i should offer this or not.
I know for myself i am not sure how to think about it. I know the kids would love it, but approaching it can be construed as pursuing. I m not even sure what she would say.
The whole xmas thing is really weird for us, we have not even discussed anything about it, who is getting kids what, schedule nothing. It is like we are both avoiding it.
I would really like some thoughts on all of this.
thanks
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
We are having the same problem, it's less than two weeks away and neither one of us has really figured out gifts or schedules. Maybe I can employ a 180 here as I did for Thanksgiving.
M: 39 W:38 D: 11 S: 7 T: 18 M:13 I suspect problem: 8/15 ILYB: 9/15 Never quit on love I ask her to leave:10/15
Sounds like you are going through the same thing as me, I have seen some looks from W that have me guessing. An with no OM as far as I know, makes it so hard not to act on the looks.
Do you have GAL activities you can do when the kids are not home?
Me late 30's W mid 30's T 15, M 10 S4, S7 ILYBNILWY June 2015 In house S July 2015 W rings off Oct 2015 My ring off Feb 2015 Separate houses June 2016
