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Quote:
In the past, when she would get like this I would make myself very vulnerable.


How did you make yourself vulnerable?


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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That's fine, you don't want to react to her or get any expectations if thats what shes doing. Even if she is coming closer and opening up some, even if she does something that makes you realize she still cares about you, or even loves you, doesn't mean she wants a relationship with you. Anyone in a relationship with someone else for years is going to have a connection to them, they are still going to care about that person. They are out for what will make them happy, so the above things don't mean that much.


Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
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Uphill Offline OP
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Sandi, I would find myself following her lead earlier on. If she would be extra nice, I would too. If she would open up, same for me. When I would do anything like that she would pull away. I know, makes sense now but at the time I couldn't grasp the concept and put it in place on my own sitch.


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


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Haha just have to share this as it gave me a chuckle. S4 was on the phone with XF. She asked what he did today and he replied with, play with (unknown to XF) female name. I heard her ask him again and he replied the same thing again. Then he told her that this female should come to dads house to play with him. I couldn't help but hear the change in her voice and she was very quick to get off the phone.

Unknown to her, my sister was BABYSITTING a friends little girl... The way she took it, and I didn't step in and correct it, was that this was a grown woman who may be coming to my house. I am sure that has her thinking haha I know it gave me a good laugh!


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


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Uphill, that is funny, a little jealousy never hurts! She is probably stalking your social media to try to figure out who "she" is.



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Uphill Offline OP
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Oh I'm sure she is looking down all avenues and this just turned into a sleepless night for her. She can look all she wants, because it's an uncommon name and I know nobody else with it other than this 6 month old... I'll sleep good, if I can stop giggling.

Side note, this small child has no internet access so therefore has not set up any Facebook or Twitter accounts yet haha

Last edited by Uphill; 12/11/15 02:38 AM.

Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


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Uphill Offline OP
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Ok, a little shift in this convo... Looking for an answer to a question I haven't seen answered. I am taking S4 to finish up Christmas shopping. He had brought up about a week ago that he wanted to get his mom a gift. I do not want to even acknowledge the holiday to her, but do I allow him to pick her something small from just him?


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


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Sure you do.

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Up, I took all 3 of my boys last night to pick out stuff for W. It makes the kids happy, which makes me happy. Also, W knows who took them, proving that you aren't uncaring selfish or whatever she wants to think you are. Have to show the improved you, right?

Good luck!


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Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
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It's done! Haha I wanted to let him, not for me but for him. The place I was conflicted is that she would know where it actually came from even if he picked it... What's 40 bucks right? He was happy so that makes me happy smile


Me 34, XF 27
Many years together
Son 4
Engaged
Not engaged
Many false starts by XF
7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life
2/17 girlfriend moves in my home


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