Mid-Atlantic, eh? Spent the last duty station in MD. W is going to FL so you can figure out we are pretty close to there (only roughly two or so hours away). If you don't mind me asking, is he medical?
Quote:
I will not naively assume that this will not affect H. Not that I could or would tell H who to talk to, but I would be aware he might need a counterbalance to this, such as setting up double dates with another couple, or going on a trip, or going in for a MC session.
Once again, that is awesome. Your advice is spot-on and helps me out a lot!
No, not medical! He is in a very unique situation and moves between locations though so I can't give hints or I will be outed.
I am glad my advice is helping you. I am hoping I am figuring things out before its too late for me, I still have a lot of hope but it could go either way. I'll be a really good partner for my next H though!
O, if we had stumbled on this pre-BD would we have really given it proper attention? I think sadly we needed the BD as a wake up call. We weren't paying attention to our own lives. Or maybe we just took things for granted. Not that we deserved any of this, of course. Up until the actual BD, even literally 5 minutes before BD, I would have bet my life that H would NEVER do this to me.
I'll be a really good partner for my next H though!
Ain't that the truth?
Sidestepping - It is good to read many on here that have an opportunity to find this early enough and some even with S @ home. How I wish. Detaching is a roadblock for me so maybe my sitch is better suited for my issues anyhow.
O, if we had stumbled on this pre-BD would we have really given it proper attention? I think sadly we needed the BD as a wake up call. We weren't paying attention to our own lives. Or maybe we just took things for granted. Not that we deserved any of this, of course. Up until the actual BD, even literally 5 minutes before BD, I would have bet my life that H would NEVER do this to me.
Agreed. I remember thinking a few weeks before I asked my H to leave if maybe I should come on here and just check things out. But I was 100% sure the M was dead, so instead I asked him to move out...
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
I'll be a really good partner for my next H though!
Ain't that the truth?
Sidestepping - It is good to read many on here that have an opportunity to find this early enough and some even with S @ home. How I wish. Detaching is a roadblock for me so maybe my sitch is better suited for my issues anyhow.
PS: I just figured out how to quote
Good job on the quoting 2.0! It took me forever to figure that out. The problem with the next partner is that I would only want another DB'er. Imagine going through this whole journey, working on yourself, going through hell, and then you end up with a smooth-talking wayward again. I figure the people left for me to date will either be waywards, LBS's who haven't done "the work" and are probably emotionally wrecked from the experience, or DB'ers who are emotionally grown up now. The problem is they will all come across as charming until you really get to know them, and that might be when they walk out again on their next spouse.
We should have a secret handshake or something so when we get out in the dating world we know who we can trust!
dont let a couple of people on hear get out one night and get a DB tattoo after one too many cocktails!
How funny would that be? I actually did go out and get a tattoo after BD. I am the last person in the world that you would think would get a tattoo, but now I am thinking of another one. Not a DB one though!
Pho, No worries. Wasn't going to ask any further than that. If it were medical then the world would have shrunk immensly cause you are well aware of how small that community is! As it is, I imagine if you spent any amount of time on east coast then it's probably a safe bet that bases have overlapped!
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
