She has done no work on her. She is in her own mind adamant that she didn't participate in the break up of her M. I feel for her because of her anger, and when I questioned her about it, she says that hating him helped her through D and still help her to cope when she sees him!
I'm probably going to be divorced 9 months after BD. It is very easy to get divorced where I live. It makes me head spin.
Me53 H48 M 13 No children together BDMay '15 PA June '15 H moves out,files 8/15 wants "quick divorce" but does nothing Me sending proposal 12/15, court dates upcoming
Ancaire, thank you for dropping by. I've been distracted by some other family stuff and taking action in line with my plan to achieve the goals I've defined. Things are going well and there haven't been any times where I be felt stressed or uneasy, which is I am really grateful for.
I have been keeping track of your thread and can see you are getting some great advice so felt posting might be too much, it seems I missed judged and am sorry for that so will pop over there now.
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
mutation and Gmum, thank you for checking in on me and for your kind words.
i am still keeping up with quite a few sitch's but have not seen that much I feel I can add any value to.
The phrase I picked up recently that "the solution does not lie in your situation" chimed very much with my focus on goals and plans to achieve them.
There are times when I can see that people are overwhelmed and all they need is emotional support, that many quite rightfully give, while they get their head together. When they appear to be ready to take back control of their direction, that's when I do post.
nutation and Gmum, you both seem in control of yourselves at the moment, you get distracted by events sometime (don't we all) but in general you are on good tracks and it is important that you keep on them because you know they are the right things, not a result of others motivating you on. Motivation from within, in all circumstances, will always win over external drivers,
Keep on doing what you are doing by knowing where you are heading and how you are going to get there - the solution does not lie in your sitch.
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
It is important to be aware that events only have the meaning you give them, on their own they have no meaning, this is proven in the following chinese proverb:
A farmer had only one horse. One day, his horse ran away.
His neighbors said, “I'm so sorry. This is such bad news.”
The man just said, “Maybe, maybe not”
A few days later, his horse came back with twenty wild horses following. The man and his son corralled all 21 horses.
His neighbors said, “Congratulations! This is such good news.”
The man just said, “Maybe, maybe not”
One of the wild horses kicked the man's only son, breaking both his legs.
His neighbors said, “I'm so sorry. This is such bad news.”
The man just said, “Maybe, maybe not”
The country went to war, and every able-bodied young man was drafted to fight. The war was terrible and killed every young man, but the farmer's son was spared, since his broken legs prevented him from being drafted.
His neighbors said, “Congratulations! This is such good news.”
The man just said, “Maybe, maybe not”
Applying this line of thinking to whatever life throws at you allows you to remain calm in even the toughest of circumstances as every incident can always be seen from two perspectives and by knowing this we can remain a constant.
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
Hi Avanti, yes I like the Chinese proverb & I have read similar things. I think the message is non-resistance - become the water in the river. Acceptance that what is, is - and there is meaning in the wider sense - a wider plan for you..
Sounds like you are doing well my friend xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
