A new day.

[beckyb]

Stop me before I do something stupid. Several times H has indicated he is owed more because we used money from his job buy for the down payment on our house. This true but legally it doesn't matter. But this hurts my feelings because my salary and bonuses have kept us in the house and allow us a nice standard of living while he was out of work.

I'm angry and hurt and afraid he will try to make this an issue with the D. I really want to set the record straight via email. Propably not a great idea.

[Avanti]

It's been two weeks since I set these goals. Time for an assessment. Below are my very subjective scores

Spiritual:
•Begin every day with a devotional/bible verse - 90%
•Pray for other people every day - 100%
•Do bible study daily 75%
•Cultivate S.M. friendships - 80%

Emotional:
•Journal everyday, including 3 blessings - 75%
•Don’t worry, pray 30%
•Go to one Meet Up - 100%
•Do Radical Recovery modules 1 and 2 - 40%
•Limited DB forum to 2x per day 0%
•Do not text, email or call H - 75%
•Don’t push attorney - 100%

Physical:
•PT exercises everyday 50%
•Pilates class 2x per week - 100%
•Walk/bike 3x per week - 100%
•Prep food/veggies 2x per week 0%

Financial:
•Continue house sale prep: pack up glassware, go through 2 closets/drawers per week, install trim, fix light in basement, purge Christmas by half - getting there
•Do not use credit card - 80%
•Increase amount in savings - Still need to move some things around
•Meet with mortgage loan guy - No yet

This is great beckyb. Is it worth writing by each one that isn't 100% how you can improve? Are there any that need adding? Can any be removed?

Consider adding some scope where possible (how much money in savings, which days you are going to prep food/veggies...).

It is often said that stating goals in the present in other words, they a re actually happening is a good thing to do too. I am journaling every day including 3 blessings...I walk/bike 3 times per week for ?? minutes minimum...

[Avanti]

Stop me before I do something stupid. Several times H has indicated he is owed more because we used money from his job buy for the down payment on our house. This true but legally it doesn't matter. But this hurts my feelings because my salary and bonuses have kept us in the house and allow us a nice standard of living while he was out of work.

I'm angry and hurt and afraid he will try to make this an issue with the D. I really want to set the record straight via email. Propably not a great idea.

Stop beckyb, let it go. He can't make any of this stick in the D proceedings, it's him clutching at straws, forget it and do something more important than thinking about him, your goals for instance.

[Avanti]

The text really wasn't about finances.

It was, you were reminding him of his responsibilities.

It was me being pissy about the fact that he offered to pay and then acted like he shouldn't be paying me when it was his idea all along. When he moved out he completely abandon the house, leaving me to take care of everything. It's fine. I asked him to leave and chose to stay here. But when when we sell he will benefit from my care and maintenance of the property.

This was all in your head and not in the text, so it was about finances.

I was doing really well detaching then a couple of weeks ago I allowed hope to take over, probably fueled by a few texts from H that seems more friendly.

It happens to all of us, it shows we are human and that we care.

I am really ready to move on from this house. It's big and a lot to take care of. I am looking forward to having my own place.

Me too with my house, maybe we could have a virtual joint house warming party? You bring the food, I'll supply the drink.

A big concern is there are things that need to be done to the house to get it ready to sell. I am expecting H to reimburse me for half the cost but we don't have any sort of agreement yet requiring him to so, so I need to be cautious. I emailed my attorney this evening with a few questions. We'll see what he advises.

Your L is the best person to deal with this and you've passed it to them to deal with. I am in a similar position and will let you know what my L says if you do likewise, deal?

[beckyb]

I do need to add some specificity. Will work on that next.

[beckyb]

A virtually party sounds great!

I missed my attorney's call this evening. I'll have to wait until tomorrow. I'll let you know what he says.

[beckyb]

I didn't send anything. It won't help anyway. I just wonder at what point I say screw it and say what I really think. All this keeping quiet seems pointless when I'm just going to get divorced anyway. I'm pretty sure I can only take the high road for so long.:)

Thanks for answering all my posts. I fumed all day and then saw my IC. I feel better. Tonight I'm to do my work on my bible study and practice the piano. My niece is teaching me and it's really challenging my old brain. I'm doing pretty well though.

[Avanti]

I didn't send anything. It won't help anyway. I just wonder at what point I say screw it and say what I really think. All this keeping quiet seems pointless when I'm just going to get divorced anyway. I'm pretty sure I can only take the high road for so long.:)

When you take different road and unload, it's feel good for a very short time (less than a minute) and then it won't, that's why we are on the high road. But you knew that already didn't you.

[beckyb]

Yep. I knew that.

[beckyb]

Taking some steps. I have started to communicate with H about specific issues regarding selling our house. It kind of makes me sick to my stomach but feels good to move forward a little. I hate it but if we are going to get the house sold in a timely manner it needs to be done.