You have to laugh at the thought processes of my W some times. I come home from work, feeling dog rough (seem to have picked up some kind of chest infection - urgh!) and I walk in the door to find W busy doing some housework. I say my usual cheery hello to everybody (I always do that - it's not for show, I truly am happy to see everybody when I get home from a hard days graft) when W says 'I'm doing the ironing in the morning before I go away. If you get your shirts in the wash soon, I'll iron them before I go'.
Now, I'm quite happy to do this myself (I expect to do these things myself), so, I told her I'd do it during the week, but she was really insistent that she did it before she went away. So, as I have to really listen to what she's saying, I agree.
It just seems odd. This is my beautiful W, who I love to bits, behaving one minute like a tearaway teenager, threatening to take my children away to the next being a 'normal' SAHM, making sure my clothes look great. Is this typical behaviour of a WAW or somebody in a MLC?
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
No expectations. On with the plan. If she wants to come along the. Great. If not then on with the plan. You are getting stronger. I can sense it.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
Chest infections don't do wonders for your sleep patterns! Add in an autistic S who wants to wake up at 0500 and we're in for another tiring day.
W has asked more about flats. She asked if i'd been accepted. I said I didn't know yet, but still had more to look at. It seems she has been researching flat rental as she knows differences between available now etc. and how it works. W did not know any of this last week. W then said we'd have to talk about how we inform people/companies about our new addresses etc. I told her, I'd do anything in my name and she could do hers. Her eyes went wide. She said 'No. I want to do it together. We'll do it when you're off for that week.' I replied that wasn't how it was going to be and that I was just going to do my stuff.
Don't know if I'm coming on too strong here, but it feels like I'm being temp checked, daily. Comments?
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Hi Huddy, sorry to hear about your chest infection and do take care of yourself. It's not easy when you have a litle one who is an early riser if you're not feeling 100%.
As for your W, I think there is a line to walk between enabling and supporting her departure and being a bit of a jerk. It isn't easy to gauge, but I think the right response is to say I'll do X, Y and Z in my name and leave A, B, C to you. D, E and F are joint, so I'll do X and leave you to do Y.
So, I think it about co-operating to the point that things just get smoothed out - much as you would do with a colleague that you don't much care for, but don't want to be unhelpful either.
As for temp check? I have no idea Huddy, and I wouldn't spend time wondering about that. Just focus on getting from A-B right now. If your W wants anything to be different, she will let you know for sure.
Hope you're feeling better soon my friend xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
I know how you feel mate. I seem to have developed a cold right in time for the weekend. Dang. Anyway I agree with Sotto. Don't be a jerk but don't enable either. Tough one to judge but I'm sure Huddy 2.0 will get it right.
I'm also free from Wednesday onwards if you still want that pint.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
That's the bit I'm struggling with. I can see the dynamic has started to change. The pattern appears to be; she will temp check (have you got a flat), followed by some practical stuff, followed by niceities like 'see you later' etc. Then she reverts to silence. Following day, when she's had the night to think about the previous days exchange, she will call or talk when I get home, just enough to ensure that she thinks she's in control.
I'm not sure if I'm getting the detaching bit right, without appearing cold. Whilst I was saying today's words to W, my heart was desperately wanting to say 'don't go; there's no need to change the bills etc.' so, I'm kinda putting the words out, but because my head isn't really hearing the answer, I don't know how it sounds. Hmmm.....
W is off to her parents in the morning. Both kids have told me they don't want to go. I had to assure them it was for a holiday. My D is particularly adamant that she doesn't want to go. I said she'd have to tell Mummy that herself. What a sickener.
NDY - Wednesday evening sounds fine. I can get to Glasgow for about 1800 hrs and be there for about 2/3 before I have to head back east. Let me know if this is OK.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Wednesday is perfect mate. I'll meet you in Bonapartes in Queen Street station at 6. My office is 5 minutes away and I get the train from Queen St as well.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
