Bad night woke up 4am thought I heard shouting outside and banging on my door ran down stairs, W says she heard nothing and that it was a dream said go back to bed ..felt very real
I am running out of ideas as to what to do now got to focus,on me
I don't want to give up trying to repair things with my W but I feel I have exhausted all my options,
Goals keep working on me Next week loose another 2lbs weight Go to the gym 3 times next week Go to another dance class Spend quality time with all my children Be the best dad I can be
Ghost
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
I would like you to select a word from the song, this is your power word, a neutral one like 'mirror'
After you finish smiling, turn to a space in front of you, hear the music, man in the mirror, I am asking him to mend his ways
See a bright spotlight on the floor about 2 feet in front of you
It highlights a large turntable,
On it stands Ghost, it is the best Ghost that can be, slim, trim, wearing great clothes, standing tall confident, ready to dance. He is smiling, he is looking at you in the eyes with love and joy. Smile back. Hear the music
The turntable slow turns, ghost keeps looking at you until he faces 180 away from you, with his back to you
Step into this Ghost, say the word mirror as you do
See the next spotlight in front of you with Ghost in it, repeat the word mirror, hear the music
Smile, smile, laugh
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This is your new process as well as the irror smile, we have the mirror step
Anytime you need joy courage strength to change the go to word is mirror and the step is only 2 feet -----------------------------------
In case you are wondering my choice at the moment is Labi Siffrey and Something Inside so Strong and the word of choice is a phrase 'look them in the eyes'. I have had several songs over the last year including Let it be, I will survive, The greatest love of all, and of course Somewhere over the rainbow.
Instead of the best V, I step into a mentor depending on the task, at the moment it's J K Rowling before that Anita Rodderick. I have been Amy Johnson and Helen Mirren, Bathseba Everdeen (Julie Christie) and at some stage it's going to be Marilyn Monroe (from the Misfits).
Try it for fun, you could try Bruce Willis..... (phoar......)
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I was looking for acting as if and because I was stuck with my boundaries and unable to act as if, I developed this way of being........
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 10/10/1506:02 AM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
I am starting to change my feelings are getting better I do not like it but I am starting t accept it is happening
One of the things that my wife says is that when we do sell the house and buy two smaller houses is that she wants to work at the weekend so I can work during the week that means that I have the children from Friday night probably through till Sunday or Monday do you think that it would be worth at this stage putting that into practice whilst we are still in the house together so that she gets to experience what it is going to be like during the week when I do not help and I get to experience the weekend on my own with no help from her
She gives this whole situation so little thought her view why worry about it till it happens mentality nothing seems to really worry her to moving to smaller houses her having to work more all the things that I worry about seem to be things that she just doesn't care about
I know I cannot reason with her in her mind it is over and I'm now just a friend but 3/4 months ago we were together as a couple things were not right but we were together how things change
I want to start to prepare for how hard it is going to be at the weekends for me to have all the children and to try and manage the house I think she needs to feel that as well during the weekdays
What do you think do I suggest this to her ....
Thank you ghost
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
Are you suggesting it so if it fails she will say, 'let's not split up?'
If that is the case why set yourself up for failure? I see no advantage until you are strong.
Why say it's going to be hard, do you want it to be hard? Pink elephant, what you think about grows!
Otherwise take the kids to Centre Parc for a long weekend, (or alternate). That wouldn't be hard, that would be fun, so if you see fun then apply that to all your weekends.
Tell me about each of your kids, what are they like, what would be fun with each one?
Ghost, you will get strong, I tell you this because my higher power says so, let it be, enjoy it.
It's happening, let yourself grow.
By the way, I dance, I do Ceroc. Try googling Ceroc, I go on long weekenders for dancing. Dancing is wonderful for the spirit for soothing the self. The regular movement is so healing.
I really want you strong, despit your resisted centre.
BTW I owe you 16 minutes.
MIRROR
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 10/10/1510:12 AM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Hi Ghost, no I wouldn't make suggestions like that to try and 'show' her anything. Focus on agreeing manageable arrangements in terms of childcare in the best interests of everyone if and when you move. Trying to 'practice' new arrangements sounds like you trying to control things and it is best to let go of such things I think.
Glad your feelings are starting to change. It takes time, but you are sounding much less panicked about things, which is good.
Take care xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Ghost, don't make any suggestions, just do what you need to do right now. Self care, I know you are exercising, are you eating well? Are you going to church, meditating, whatever you need to do to take care of your spiritual side? Keep taking care of yourself. You are making good progress, I am proud of you Ghost!
Sandi2 I did Google the ceroc dance interesting there was a good ceroc wedding dance
Sotto as you may have realised I over think everything but for me this is important I feel such sadness when I think of what it will be like at Christmas not this year but perhaps next with the toddler coming down stairs to open her presents and daddy or mummy not being there
Life is going to be so different ....I have a feeling it will become battle of the Christmas presents we always go over the top I can see her tree being stacked with presents and me trying keep up with her
I think of when my w moves a partner in to the house I know it may never happen but I think what if I do not like him he will be arround my kids and there is nothing I can do about it
I think of all the days when I will not see my children and not know what they are getting up to or the weekends when I will have them all and may struggle with it
My daughter is great with the toddler but if she is not at mine over the weekend then I will get no help but my w will get all the help she needs during the week days
It just [censored] I see very few positives
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
Not started church I am giving it much thought meditation is also on my list I am eating less but this is ok as I need to keep loosing weight I am eating more healthy
Thank you
Last edited by Ghost56; 10/10/1512:54 PM.
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
