mutatio, we all get tired and we all feel a little jaded from time to time, if you are feeling close to giving everything up, make sure it is not for one of the following reasons:
You are feeling hurt You are feeling frustrated You feel you are up against the wall
When you are feeling low concentrate on:
Making sure someone is in your corner - we all are, have you got someone you can speak to locally, if not is there someone who you could ask? Taking a break, don't keep slugging away. Review your plan and goals, what's next...what needs to change...how successful are they, what do I need to do differently? Being coached - whether that's a DB one or an IC
Hang in there, you aren't a quitter.
Avanti - formerly known as Beagley
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
When tired I too am less positive.It is tough slogging it out in a seemingly endless unwinable fight.
I too fear how I will look at any future R. But I know that I want a future R. I want to feel affection, feel loved and treat someone with what I have learned about R in this process. I want to love and to be loved.if I can save my family I will do so too. If not I will be best dad I can.
Take care of you today.
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
Take some time out. I was frustrated a few weeks ago. Ready to give up. Back now. Still exhausted, but a break from the forum just gives some space as well.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
I was thinking more along the lines of the artist formerly known as Prince lines, but you Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner thing is fine too. ;-)
Actually it was inspired by Vanilla who suggested that Beagley had grown up and perhaps needed to cast off some previous vestiges and take decisive steps forward towards completing a transformation.
You sound as if you need to take some time to reassess and regroup, good luck with it and you know you've got loads of people happy to help out if you comes across any sticking points.
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
More answers for Vanilla"s questions. Read if you struggle with insomnia.
Were you trying to compete with FIL?
I wanted to prove to wife I was as good as her father. I wanted to prove to my FIL I was worthy of his daughter.
Where did the image of a man come from?
My image came from me. My father was not a man I respected. I thought I should be the stoic hero type from a hollywood movie.
Do you see a distinction between men and women in the workplace? In the home?
I see no distinction men and women in the workplace or in the home.
OK, so when you say much happier are you still sacrificing your potential for expediency?
I am need to work to support my family. I am working towards a pension. I enjoy what I do. This is all good.
Did this create resentment which leaked into your home life?
I brought resentments home with my FIL salesman job. I have no resentments with my current job.
To what extent are you now unable to find the time to develop your skills?
I am improving my skills at work an in classes in the evening.
what measures are you taking to invest in your skill sets, to get yourself excited by your life and work?
I am improving my skill set so that when I retire I can start a new career with my own business.
What are the plans for you?
I plan to move to an different area of the country and work as an artist.
How will you ensure that you put your development in these areas before all else?
I am passionate about my interests and prefer doing them over almost everything.
The answer may lie further back, did you do school subjects you didn't like? Try to please parents, teachers rather than having best fit? If so why?
I did not reach my full academic potential because my father pushed school hard and I pulled back and did not apply myself to my studies. I pleased myself by not giving my father the grades he wanted me to get.
What dreams did you have for you when you were a child?
I wanted to have money. My father was a civil servant so we were not wealthy.
What did you really want to do?
I wanted to be an architect, I like to design.
Are your desires in your work or hobbies?
My work and my hobbies are one in the same, just different mediums.
More answers for Vanilla"s questions. Read if you struggle with insomnia.
mutatio, quit making this kind of comment. We all learn from one another's sitch's and the responses they get, you shouldn't be the judge of whether something is important to others or not. If you were going for the self-deprecation angle, find other ways or other places within your post, not your opening line.
The reason for saying this is it hints at a lack of inner self-confidence, if you feel that, start faking confidence and it will start to happen on its own. Fake it till you make is now a scientifically proven psychological approach.
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
