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Vanilla #2605769 09/10/15 04:57 PM
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Thanks RD, Jim and V......it's nice to have some stalwart supporters smile

Well, I'm a bit antsy pantsy today. I got an email from my L to say they wrote to H's L 3+ weeks ago to say we accepted the content of the draft D petition. It's radio silence from his L and he & I haven't had any contact for a month either.

My L asked should she chase it? I replied to leave it for now & I was sure they would proceed as & when they were ready. I find it a bit tough not to know what is happening. And it would kind of suit me for the D to be moving forwards. But then I have this little thought - what does no action mean?

Anyway, my L is writing to me with some queries from his financial form, so I should get that this week too. Otherwise, all is well. A bit quieter this week on GAL, but feeling pretty settled within myself, so that's okay.

Best wishes to you all xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Sotto #2605783 09/10/15 05:20 PM
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Sotto,
I can understand being a bit antsy since you've not heard anything from the other camp about the paperwork. Sometimes, the ones that walk away tend to want a divorce yesterday, but when it's time to do the difficult work that is involved in a divorce, they tend to sit for a while. Because it's radio silent on his end and his lawyer hasn't been in touch w/yours for a while, your h will say that you are dragging your feet (typical mlc lingo), but you aren't.

My xh took just about 3 years to get his act together. Once I directed my lawyer to just sit and wait him out and that we weren't doing another thing until they responded to our requests, that is when my xh started pushing once again. I hope your h acts more civil than mine did during the process.

I'm so glad you are settled and have been enjoying your GAL activities. Keep up the good work!

job #2606071 09/11/15 05:05 PM
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Thanks Job. TBH, I worry about things so much less now. I just think - well if A. happens, I'll deal with A. And if B. happens, I'll deal with that. I just deal with things as they come up now.

H emailed me today after a month of NC. He wanted to update me about the house. We had a couple more viewings and he had talked to the agent and one of our neighbours about the property market. He asked for details of our gardener to get some yard work done.

Interesting that if I leave things a good while, he will actually initiate something. It wasn't a particularly warm email. He used my name instead of his name for me....and it had a business-like tone, but it was pleasant enough. I won't rush to respond. I'll do what any woman with plans on a Friday night would do....get back to him over the weekend grin. That's a bit of a 180 for me. I normally manage to leave it an hour or two, but I'm a pretty prompt responder.

Otherwise I had a nice day. Volunteered at the bookstore, which is always fab! I'm in tonight, but I'm going out to a movie with a friend tomorrow night.

Happy Friday all xx

Last edited by Sotto; 09/11/15 05:06 PM.

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Sotto #2606150 09/11/15 08:40 PM
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Sotto,
I don't know if you are aware of this or not, but a posting of yours was censored several days ago on this forum for mentioning another site by Virginia, a long time moderator.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2606154 09/11/15 08:56 PM
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Your posting to PJH was just censored for referencing that link again. I don't want to see you get placed on moderation for not realizing that we do not reference other sites/links on any of the forums. You aren't the only one that has been censored this week...Delboy got dinged as well.

This site is here for us to use and it's a free site. However, it is also a lead in to her business side of things, i.e., coaching, books, cds, public speaking engagements, etc., which is her income.

Just be careful when posting references.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2606155 09/11/15 08:57 PM
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Hi Job, I didn't realise that. I'll stop signposting to other sites I've found helpful.

Thanks for letting me know, Sotto x


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
job #2606285 09/12/15 12:52 PM
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Originally Posted By: job
Sotto,
I don't know if you are aware of this or not, but a posting of yours was censored several days ago on this forum for mentioning another site by Virginia, a long time moderator.


Virginia is actually the admin of the site and all final decisions go through her.

I am not a moderator on the MLC forum however this does effect you on all of DB.

I would suggest good behavior and send a message to Virginia, after that is demonstrated.

Link to rules
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=boardrules&v=1


Last edited by Cadet; 09/12/15 12:54 PM. Reason: Link

Me-70, D37,S36
Cadet #2606298 09/12/15 01:43 PM
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Thanks Cadet. I'm on best behavior & I sent a notify message to Virginia too smile


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Sotto #2606473 09/13/15 07:34 AM
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It's been a nice weekend so far. Pottered about yesterday and did some stuff around the flat. Then last night I went out for a drink with one of my new friends. She and I ended up in a ritzy cocktail bar that is just around the corner from me - which I often walk past, but never actually visit!! This afternoon I'm Mum-sitting and I'll head off to aqua aerobics tonight.

I got a text from SS15 yesterday, asking for one of my old recipes so he could make it - bless him. We had a nice little text exchange about it. After leaving things overnight, I decided to contact our gardener myself and arrange for her to go in & sort things out at our MH. I emailed H to say I had contacted her & would get back to him when things are confirmed. Maybe fixing, but I just prefer knowing that is sorted. Not had a response from him.

I guess I'm still wondering a little what it all means. Why hasn't H filed for D yet? Why feel the need to update me after a month of NC. I don't feel there was a need really & his email wasn't particularly warm, so it didn't feel like he was reaching out. But I wonder in a much less anguished way now. More mildish curiosity and then let it go. I know that focus on him won't serve me well. It is true that we get to a point where it doesn't matter that much what is happening, because I'm sure I'll be okay if we D and I'm sure I"ll be okay if we don't. They are just different paths to follow. I only go on much smaller rollercoasters now...think teacups and ladybugs.... grin

Friend I was with last night said she was interested in trying laughter therapy, which piqued my interest. I told her I'd like to try that too, and said I would have a look & see if anything is on offer. Maybe a new GAL activity for us??

Hope you are all having a good weekend. It's a lovely clear September morning here - my favourite smile

Last edited by Sotto; 09/13/15 07:42 AM.

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Sotto #2606501 09/13/15 12:59 PM
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Hi Sotto I knew you were a bad to bone type of girl behind it all. Censered !!

Your sounding relaxed and at peace with things. Re your H and the gardener thing , who knows ? For sure he must be second guessing his choices but MLCs do not finish quickly so he still is proberbly not thinking straight or completely rationally.

Laughter therapy , sorry but can't help thinking I'd get more laughter watching everyone else !!!!!! Clinical Rd !

Very nice to see you have bond with SS. have a great day

Take care. Rd. xxxx

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