Thank you Azzork the Wise. Your one of my current heros.
When my wife had her EA/PA in 2008 I chose to stop drinking and have not gotten angry in any real sense with any of my family since then. I have a real aversion to it since I realized it nearly did and still might have destroyed my marriage. I got angry when I started writing that post. I'm not sure I realized I was angry till I started typing.
I need help guys. I really blew it today. I discussed our relationship and it worked its way to divorce. I told her about our states laws and how unpleasant it would be for her. She makes a tremendous more amount of money then me. She got very quiet and now will not discuss it will me. I told her that I didn't want that outcome. I am afraid she thinks I was blackmailing her or threatening her economically. I hoped by saying it she might reconsider her position.
How bad did I effect my situation? She was talking about divorcing fairly soon. That's why I panicked and miss spoke. How can I fix this? Please help, I'm freakin out
I need help guys. I really blew it today. I discussed our relationship and it worked its way to divorce. I told her about our states laws and how unpleasant it would be for her. She makes a tremendous more amount of money then me. She got very quiet and now will not discuss it will me. I told her that I didn't want that outcome. I am afraid she thinks I was blackmailing her or threatening her economically. I hoped by saying it she might reconsider her position.
How bad did I effect my situation? She was talking about divorcing fairly soon. That's why I panicked and miss spoke. How can I fix this? Please help, I'm freakin out
It's a step backwards for sure. Pointing anything like that out just sends a message that you think she's incapable or that she can't handle herself. Of course, that's not the intent - but that's their read on it anyway.
So, it happened. Oh well. Learn from it and move forward. There's no "fixing" anything. Just relax and don't do it again.
How do you stop asking your wife to reconsider when you love her and she is done with the relationship? What motivational techniques are employed?
The same way you stop doing anything that doesn't work you cause you pain. You do it wrong enough times such that you realize you don't want to do it anymore.
My wifes mind seems to be made up in this moment. She says she does not know how she will feel in the future. If that is the case. I got stop talking to her about it now.
What have you people done when you had the urge to discuss the marriage? Do I have to avoid these discussions her completely?
My wifes mind seems to be made up in this moment. She says she does not know how she will feel in the future. If that is the case. I got stop talking to her about it now.
What have you people done when you had the urge to discuss the marriage? Do I have to avoid these discussions her completely?
Keep hoping someone else will jump in to talk to you, but....since I'm here....
Of course she doesn't know how she will feel in the future. Nobody can know how anyone will feel in the future. The key is that right NOW, it is clear how she feels. And that's why there's no point in having relationship talks right now. All you will do is force her to hurt you again and that's not good for either of you or your M. The only thing to do is respect her feelings and give her the space she is looking for.
That's why I said that about the stove. What's the point of doing something if you know it's just going to hurt you?
