Oh, I know a D isn't the the course of action I want. And it won't get me off the roller coaster, but hate being in misery. Will let her experience her journey whilst I do my own thing (get a life). 3rd therapy session today was great, gave me some incredible coping techniques and I am off the ledge lol. Might even be able to sleep tonight. :-)
Me - Mid 40's W - Mid 40's Married 20 No kids BD - 7/2015 ILYB... Moved out 2 days later Suspect EA
Everyone here is right about this being a roller coaster. You mentioned you hate being in misery and considering ripping the band aid off quick.It is easy to be conflicted when you have so many emotions and thoughts going through your head!
It would be extremely helpful to know what your next move should be. Please call me to discuss our program at 303-444-7004.
Cristy Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
4 weeks into separation, and 2.5 weeks into detachment/last resort. I've not made contact, only when contacted and then very brief/vague answers. She has asked my schedule, what I had planned on weekend, asked me out to dinner, and also asked for a list of bills so she could pay half. Even given me her weekend schedule last weekend, which was odd since she'd stopped that a few weeks earlier. Each day, the email seems like a reach.
I've completed 4 counseling sessions which were beneficial. I'm still re-reading DB and DR, along with two the counselor suggested -- Rebuilding and 5 Languages of Love. Learning a lot about myself, my marriage, and what parts I failed at. And what I did well.
She is still not sleeping. Her counselor has diagnosed her with severe anxiety attacks which is not helping her sleep. After a few weeks of reflection, I feel her OCD fueled a MLC along with the EA likely caused her to be a WW.
The OCD has always been a problem, not necessarily in the marriage (not until now), but in everyday life. Her's is the "put something down/away perfectly" kind of OCD and involves pervasive thoughts of family members dying or being hurt.
We are meeting for dinner tomorrow evening, not in a quiet place either. In our previous two meetings, she did not wear her ring, I did. I don't plan on wearing it tomorrow. Will try like hell to be chipper and upbeat!
Me - Mid 40's W - Mid 40's Married 20 No kids BD - 7/2015 ILYB... Moved out 2 days later Suspect EA
Dinner tonight. 35 minutes total, in and out for someone you've been married to for 20 years. Ugh. Anyway, when asked about her anxiety issues and treatment from the counselor, all she could say was "this" is not easy on me either.
She was small talk chatty, asking "friend" questions. How are the Braves doing? What did I do this weekend? Etc...
Ehh, just feel down after this meeting. 1 month to the day of separation.
Me - Mid 40's W - Mid 40's Married 20 No kids BD - 7/2015 ILYB... Moved out 2 days later Suspect EA
Hey dcjal I just wanted to send you some positive thoughts. I know that dinner had to be tough. H and I have been separated since May and have not had a meal together or any interaction that didn't involve our son so kudos to you. H would say that to me too. "You think I am not having a hard time with this either?"
I hope the coaching sessions help you.
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
She thinks we'll still be friends after this, which, to me is laughable. I get to choose my friends.
I've done my 4 counseling sessions, counselor gave me coping techniques and some additional reading which has helped. Now in limbo. No discussion tonight about what is next. No legal sep or D. Her 30 day lease at corporate apt is up in 10 days, not sure what's she's going to do now. I cleaned the bedroom of her stuff, emptied the closet of her clothes and moved to guest bedroom. Tomorrow, master bath gets scrubbed. GAL and moving on!
Me - Mid 40's W - Mid 40's Married 20 No kids BD - 7/2015 ILYB... Moved out 2 days later Suspect EA
Had a DB session with Denise today. Was very beneficial. Turns out, I needed to tweak the last resort technique a bit. I hope to get another chance after Sunday's chilly meal together. I tried to be strong, confident, and upbeat, but it came out as cold.
Me - Mid 40's W - Mid 40's Married 20 No kids BD - 7/2015 ILYB... Moved out 2 days later Suspect EA
