I don't think it is about punishing, more the idea H thinks this is ok as there are 'no hard feelings'
What do you mean by speak with your actions towards H? I do t think I am pursuing so not sure what types of actions you are referring to? Not trying to sound stupid, but seriously don't know?
Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18 EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13 Move to work abroad Sept 14 re establish contact with OW while away D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15
I don't think it is about punishing, more the idea H thinks this is ok as there are 'no hard feelings'
I agree that is what he thinks, those are his feelings though and he is entitled to feel whatever he wants.
You don't have to like them.
Quote:
What do you mean by speak with your actions towards H? I do t think I am pursuing so not sure what types of actions you are referring to? Not trying to sound stupid, but seriously don't know?
I am just trying to say that if you ML to him or pursue him then what message are you sending with your actions?
You can't say anything that is going to change his mind right now.
Bad night, after keeping the PMA up for all of the time in front of MIL and H. Burst into tears and sobbed my heart out.
Hearing H reminiscing to MIL about some aspects of our holidays etc was too much.
Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18 EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13 Move to work abroad Sept 14 re establish contact with OW while away D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15
Thank you, Huddy. H just said I sounded upset and do I want to talk about it.
I said not now, thank you. What shall I say, I don't want to bring up R talks.
Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18 EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13 Move to work abroad Sept 14 re establish contact with OW while away D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15
Went to church today and one of the phrases from a hymn paraphrasing here; leave the past, the future is before us striked a chord. Sermon was about finding peace in ourselves and open ourselves to Christ to find it.
Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18 EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13 Move to work abroad Sept 14 re establish contact with OW while away D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15
Hi Py, thank you for looking in. H is hot and cold. Some positive changes in H in the last few days;
yesterday, he text me first asking me what I was doing for dinner and would I like to get something. The previous evening he failed to come home on time for a prearranged family dinner. I told him I had plans and he offered to drop me off at friends so I can have a drink. I said I can do something this evening so we will see. H offered to share the footstool, left his iPhone and iPad out where I can see it. Not trying to read to much into it. I feel that H is being nicer as he knows I am leaving in just over 3 weeks.
DS wants us all to go to MIL again all together and I don't feel comfortable with it so explained I will be busy sorting things out for my new job.
I have reread DR lately and started reading a book called 'Mindsets' which looks at how our behaviour is determined by our perception and perspective of the world. Interesting and easy read. I can only control me is beginning to sink in!
Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18 EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13 Move to work abroad Sept 14 re establish contact with OW while away D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15
Went out for a bite to eat this evening. Pleasant. Joked and laughed about out perspective Jobs. On the way home H tells me how MIL would still like to see me as I am her other 'daughter'. Said she likened us to Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. I've we get on so much better now the pressure is off! Really? Justification? iPhone and iPad guarded again. :
Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18 EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13 Move to work abroad Sept 14 re establish contact with OW while away D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15
Yep, WASes are hot and cold. That is why it's so important to unhitch your wagon from him otherwise he's just dragging you all over the place like Dennis the Menance.
I think it would be good to a relationship with the MIL. That is the key here as I sense that H wants the "family" connection to be there. That is saying a lot right there. He could have installed the OW into the family.
