WAW Filed for D the Next Day Part 11 (Bob)

[Bob723]

Temp checking isn't a great idea with your WW. You may have undone much of your progress so far although I know you wanted something different. I wouldn't have thought WW could have answered differently from the space she is in.

Back to basics Bob. Shrug, learn and let it go. You made a mistake, so do we all. If you want to stand for M and for Bob you can, it is possible.

Dearest V,

You are the lovely one, but I humbly accept your compliment.

I take pride that my enthusiasm makes you smile, you think of me as irrepressible and encouragible. Wow, thank you!

As for the rest of your post, I have to agree with you. I made a mistake and have already let it go with the help of this board. I will always keep my PMA and continue to work on myself. Even if it means that my W will be happier without me, then I will accept it, feel happy for her and meet my next "dream girl" someday.

{Hugs}

Bob

[Bob723]

Truth is ... like me, you might just be too darn nice .. and to darn willing to keep that door propped WIDE open for your W. I was that way ... I also am nearing in on 2 years separated, faced the D storm front seriously 3 times .. along with several 'threats' of the D. I am not here to tell you the 11th hour success story ... however, I was just signatures away from being single. I will not mind read you ... I will share I never wanted it, I was so focused on DBing and doing everything as well as I could 'by the DB book' ... I GAL'd .. PMA .. 180'd my tail off and like you ... My wife sounded and looked like my W, but the hatred she had for me, the eyes were cold and black, it was not her.

Then I started accepting ... well this may be my life now, I actually looked at myself, my faults .. owned them and began working on myself.

Hi CaliGuy,

Thank you so much for taking the time to stop by and post such excellent advice, and sharing your feelings as well. I am pretty familiar with your sitch and you summarized it perfectly, which really helps me as it is possible I am "too darn nice." Since my W walked out in October, I have had so many people on this board and in my personal life say the same thing. Since she has MS, I always put her needs before mine even if what she needed wasn't urgent at the time.

Many threads ago, I owned up to my part in this and posted the details. It was a reply to mahhhty. Maybe I'll repost it when I have time. Anyway, just like you, I am GAL'ing, trying to keep a PMA (I ask others to do the same all the time) and have 180'd my tail off. I have learned to never send a text without running it the board first, but this was one time I wanted to try on my own. If nothing else, at least W knows my boundaries.

I can't thank you enough for your time and encouragement. I'll do my best to check on you later tonight. In the meantime, I hope things are getting better for you and I wish you well.

Your friend,

Bob

[WBM]

Hi Bob,

I know the frustration that our sitches bring, and it is hard sometimes to stand there and take the punches all of the time without throwing a jab back. Like it has been said - just shrug it off and move forward. All you can do is to continue being the best Bob that you can be.

We are all here for you, Bob. Hang in there, my kindered spirit. Hugs and prayers.

[Elly4]

Ahh, Bob. I am so glad you had a wonderful weekend! It really sounds like it was a lot of fun and was great for your self esteem as well. That's terrific!

Now the 2x4 with your temperature check...of course it's a foam 2x4 because we all want to do check with our WS and we all make mistakes. Although I totally understand wanting to. The hardest thing is doing nothing.

Have a good day and continue on the DB train. You've got this! and us.

*hugs* bro,
E

[Fogg]

Patience Bob, patience

[rd500]

Hi Bob. First things first , 3 ladies asking for a date !!!!!!! I'll have to try harder Nice to get the ego boost and maybe lead to a nice friendship.

On your text , 2 X 4 but only threatened ! !! This was never going to get the reaction you wanted Your W is a unsure of everything and anything you say or do will be wrong

This is a long path Bob and only you decide how far along it you want to travel

You seem a very genuine guy and you have told us over and over again how much you love your W If you get a chance read back on a guy called Edz. His W wanted nothing to do with him and she wanted him out of their child's life. It took Edz a long time but they are back together

I would encourge you to listen to your heart Bob and decide what to do from there

I will support you what ever you choose , just think long and hard first

Take care mate ( ladies man ). Rd

[Bob723]

Hey all who responded since my post yesterday. Thank you all for stopping by and your advice, encouragement, 2x4s, etc. I hope and pray all of you are going well today.

WBM – Thank you, my kindred spirit. Hugs and prayers to you, too!

Eirinn, - Hey sis, I had a feeling you’d stop by. Thanks for the encouragement and using a foam 2x4. Whew . . . LOL!.

Fogg – Patience? As you know, it’s tough, but I needed to hear that. Thanks my friend!

Rd – What would I do without you? Well…3 Ladies asked me for my phone number, it is true. Thanks so much for reminding me about Edz. And yes, I do love my wife very much. Thanks for your support. Hang in there. You’re amazing, mate!

I remembered something last night. According to the Bible, Jesus experienced so much sorrow -- He was called a “man of sorrows.”

Here is verse discussing it:

“He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted” (Isaiah 53:2-4).

Believer or not, I think it is an uplifting thought to know that Jesus knows how we feel.

Here is a special prayer I’d like to share with all of my friends. I hope it gives you encouragement and strength!

“Jesus, You know my pain. You were pierced by rejection and shame. You are God. Shine Your light in my darkness and show me the way out. Amen.”

Your buddy,

Bob

[Elly4]

Amen

[Wonka]

Amen here...

[Bob723]

Eirinn & Wonka,

Thank you! Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way.

{{{Hugs}}}

Bob