Me: 46 Her: 41 M: 5.5 yrs / S: 20, 18 3/26 W and I meet OW BD: 5/2/2015, she takes off ring W goes to stay with OW 6/26 NC: 9/5 Both moved out: 10/16 I take off my ring and feel... healed: 10/19
One thing I'm feeling good about tonight as I drink the wine with the aftertaste of integrity is that this is probably the first time she's headed off to spend the night with the OW where I haven't left the bad taste of bitterness in her mouth. There can be no drama to discuss with the OW about how unreasonable I am, or angry, or whatever. Ever since Tuesday, our interactions have been at worst civil, at best warm.
Seeds of doubt about the integrity of the OW have been planted.
She has felt guilty about how she's treated me.
And last night was emblematic of everything that was ever right, good, and attractive about our M.
She may be playing the game well with the OW tonight, professing her love and whatever other nonsense serves the purpose. But I know there is conflict going on somewhere inside that head and that heart. As there should be.
I really, really, REALLY want to be a success story on this board. If so, I won't ever leave so that I can pay it forward. Till then, I will keep praying and DBing.
(And I'm done with my wine, off to read and see if I can comment on other sitches, then hit the sack.)
Me: 46 Her: 41 M: 5.5 yrs / S: 20, 18 3/26 W and I meet OW BD: 5/2/2015, she takes off ring W goes to stay with OW 6/26 NC: 9/5 Both moved out: 10/16 I take off my ring and feel... healed: 10/19
Thanks for commenting on my sitch, Dif. I really appreciate the words of wisdom and support.
I read your sitch everyday. I will say that I see improvement in both the interaction with your W and in you. The seeds seem to be taking hold, and maybe with their growth, the fog will start to clear.
I pray for you everyday - I want you to be a success story too!
Many hugs!
M: 50 W: 47 No kids together M: 10 T: 11 BD #1: 12/14 R #1: 7/15 BD #2: 1/18 D Filed: 6/18/18 D Final: 01/28/19 Currently still in-house
I have come to hate Saturdays. I'm not as depressed as I was last Saturday, but I'm definitely feeling lonely. I don't seem to have enough GAL plans for some reason. Sundays I do. But not Saturdays. My younger son is coming for dinner later, that's about it. This morning all I'm doing is reading the boards and doing my best not to think about my W and the OW. Looking forward to my new job on Monday, if for no reason other than to keep me occupied and distracted.
Me: 46 Her: 41 M: 5.5 yrs / S: 20, 18 3/26 W and I meet OW BD: 5/2/2015, she takes off ring W goes to stay with OW 6/26 NC: 9/5 Both moved out: 10/16 I take off my ring and feel... healed: 10/19
Actually, I just took my mom to the airport - which was a trigger. We live 5 minutes from the airport, and with all the traveling my W has done up until this past fall, any trip there makes me think of her - of the joy I felt whenever she arrived, and the sadness I used to feel when dropping her off - a sadness which, had I only known about THIS sadness - I would have joyfully embraced.
One of my promises to her was that as long as I lived, she'd never have to ask anyone else to take her to or get her from the airport. It's still my promise, but for now, not one she cares about.
I really hate shopping, Matt! I do have to get my son from work in a bit, and he's going to keep me company this afternoon. He's a good boy. ___________________________________________________________________
She's hosting an open house right now... if you're not in real estate, you don't know how boring these events can be - I used to go with her to some of them just to offer company. So I was wondering if she would call me while there - and she just did.
Very friendly, telling me about potential prospects, but she had to hang up when more people came in. I sent her an email this morning hinting at a financially prudent way for us to move into new living arrangements, and my gut tells me that's why she's calling, so she can get more details - though I said "let's talk about it when you get home." And who knows when that will be.
I'm not going to talk to her about it on the phone. We'll talk when she gets home. THIS is home. At least until it isn't.
Me: 46 Her: 41 M: 5.5 yrs / S: 20, 18 3/26 W and I meet OW BD: 5/2/2015, she takes off ring W goes to stay with OW 6/26 NC: 9/5 Both moved out: 10/16 I take off my ring and feel... healed: 10/19
She said she'd call back, but she never did. She was probably bored at the open house and the OW was busy, so she turned to cake eating. I probably shouldn't have answered at all.
My son and I went to look at tiny houses this afternoon, which was good for my PMA - thinking and dreaming about this project, which he'd be happy to work on with me. I'm going to Mass this evening, day seven of the novena... then I'll come home and make a nice dinner for my boy and me.
I will try to only think of my W today when I pray for her.
Me: 46 Her: 41 M: 5.5 yrs / S: 20, 18 3/26 W and I meet OW BD: 5/2/2015, she takes off ring W goes to stay with OW 6/26 NC: 9/5 Both moved out: 10/16 I take off my ring and feel... healed: 10/19
Well, I lost it at Mass tonight. I was praying very hard over this whole situation, and for my W... and I just got this overwhelming feeling that this is exactly what I'm being called to do right now. She has a heart of stone, she's mired in darkness and sin - and the Lord is sending me to break that heart and pull her out of that sin, not by force, but through prayer. I don't know how things will play out or if her heart will ever be open to these graces, but I'm called to love her right now through my prayers.
I thought about how hard that is, to love this way, from afar, through such pain and sacrifice, while the OW gets the "cheap" but much more attractive version of her right now - all the attention, the affection, the fun. I have to keep reminding myself that what they have right now cannot last, and that the love I have for her is the real deal. Whether she ever wakes up and sees this or not, that's what it is, and this is what I'm called to do.
That lighthouse story is so spot on.
Going to open a bottle of wine and start dinner, maybe watch a movie with my boy. I really feel the ache tonight of not being able to do all this with her, and knowing she's likely doing similar things with someone else...
Me: 46 Her: 41 M: 5.5 yrs / S: 20, 18 3/26 W and I meet OW BD: 5/2/2015, she takes off ring W goes to stay with OW 6/26 NC: 9/5 Both moved out: 10/16 I take off my ring and feel... healed: 10/19
