I have text H but no answer. I will cook anyway for DS and I. DS complained yesterday we didn't have family dinners very much anymore. Eating round the table was a big deal for us.
Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18 EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13 Move to work abroad Sept 14 re establish contact with OW while away D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15
A word to the wise about telling the kids about D is to be sure that both you and H are in the room together. A lot of the times the WAS blames the D on "growing apart" chit. I think it is important to emphasize that both Mom and Dad love son while you can tell S truthfully that you prefer to stay married and you really do not want a D.
Be authentic if and when that time ever comes around. But as H stated that he did not want to to this over the summer, you have plenty of time to DB your sweet butt off.
Oh and don't buy into H's chit that you are "abusive" to him. His worldview is very skewed lately.
DS had to phone H to see if he was coming for dinner in the end. H was at the pub with friends and said he never got any of my texts.
H did come back to the house straight away. I said is isn't feel he had to if he was out with his friends, H said he did as DS sounded as though he really wanted us to have dinner.
Had lunch, more chit chat in the garden. Watched television. said goodnight, I went into the kitchen and it felt that H could not get out of the kitchen fast enough. No word and went straight upstairs.
Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18 EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13 Move to work abroad Sept 14 re establish contact with OW while away D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15
Had DB coach session today and it was suggested that I should iniated some contact as it seems H does want to be near me but blowing hot and cold.
Also, as H is receptive to me writing to him I should write him a letter. I will try and lend this in the next few days, any suggestions welcome.
Feeling so much better today, a little anxious when H didn't return any texts but managed to work through that. More GAL tomorrow. Meeting up with friends I haven't seen since Christmas. Quite fortunate due to me being away my social life is bit hectic now that I am back :-)
Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18 EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13 Move to work abroad Sept 14 re establish contact with OW while away D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15
A word to the wise about telling the kids about D is to be sure that both you and H are in the room together. A lot of the times the WAS blames the D on "growing apart" chit. I think it is important to emphasize that both Mom and Dad love son while you can tell S truthfully that you prefer to stay married and you really do not want a D.
Be authentic if and when that time ever comes around. But as H stated that he did not want to to this over the summer, you have plenty of time to DB your sweet butt off.
Oh and don't buy into H's chit that you are "abusive" to him. His worldview is very skewed lately.
I definitely want to be there, Wonka. I was feeling a little bit optimistic when H said that as it was the evening he said he hated me and would file once the 6 weeks is over. The date for that is end of July. H has not approached me about the Financial order which must be sent to court before anyone applies for the Decree Absolute.
Do I broach the subject of telling DS as together? This will have to be done before I leave on 14th Aug.
Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18 EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13 Move to work abroad Sept 14 re establish contact with OW while away D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15
Do not raise the subject to H. Let him do the reaching out if he wants to talk about it with DS. A lot of the times, the WASes throw out the D word when they get angry, antsy, or frustrated. Pay no heed to all that silly blather.
Letter? What are you thinking here? What do you mean by that?
I trust that you've read up on some of Train's threads. Do you get the general idea here? Do you understand what Starsky and I talked about in those threads?
Letter? What are you thinking here? What do you mean by that?
I trust that you've read up on some of Train's threads. Do you get the general idea here? Do you understand what Starsky and I talked about in those threads?
Spoke to DB coach and she feels a letter may help as she feels H does not think I have acknowledge and validate his pain with my Behaviour re OM. Not to say I want the M back.
I reiterated the conversation I had with H on Weds and there seems to be some vulnerability from H and that he feels there is no hope. The letter may offer a glimmer of hope for him. H behaviours suggest this as he is warm and cold.
H has iniated all physical contact so far so some subtle iniations from me as she said, put my 'toe in the water' and see what happens.
A letter would help him to see I connect with his pain. Does this make sense?
Re trains thread, I need to be validating and mysterious. Not to think about R, to attract H back. I find this difficult as it seems the more mysterious I am the more he pulls back.
Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18 EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13 Move to work abroad Sept 14 re establish contact with OW while away D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15
It's hard to not think about OW when H goes to bed so early and then I can hear the texts/ messages come through until 2-3am in the morning. (I am in the room next door).
Also then to STFU when he complains how tired he is. Today, I found out he told all his family about our Divorce the day before our anniversary. That stings! Especially, we agreed neither of us would say anything until I was back in the UK. We agreed we would tell DS first!
Last edited by Smothy; 07/01/1508:24 AM.
Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18 EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13 Move to work abroad Sept 14 re establish contact with OW while away D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15
I'm sorry Smothy . This really sux doesn't it. I've been down for the lsat few days. Not outwardly, so I guess it isn't really that bad. I know it isn't as bad as it was a few months ago. Have had the sickness that I felt back then, just in flashes, so I know where it is coming from, I just want it to go away.
Waiting for her letter has brought it all back. I could seriously end up with nothing. At the end of all this she will be coming out roses. Yeah I know all that stuff about she is hurting too, yardy yarda. She complained to me the other day about the stress she has gone through. She had mouth ulcers poor baby. I had freakin surgery and lost my hearing. She is [censored] her boyfriend while I am crying.
OK - maybe she did suffer, a great deal, but so did I. Again she was unhappy, I was suicidal at one point. She took a an option that I didn't have. So maybe I am just pissed that she got out before me. But that is not it. I know that is not it. I chose to stay in the M hoping that we could work it out. Long before she would even admit that there was a problem.
Then when she realised that there really was a problem, she found a solution. This in itself is forgivable. She continues to make a mockery of me and our entire marriage. She is going to set up house with this guy in the coming months and if court goes her way, he will be their 24/7 "daddy".
I draw the line at her, and whatever her actions are I wave them, but they are affecting my life through my girls, and it get s really hard to deflect sometimes. Especially when they are persistent. This will be over - i'm just venting.
You are still in their with what seems like a fighting chance. Be strong Smothy. Give it your best. It will be easier to live with yourself afterwards, whatever happens. ahhhhh - afterwards - when will that be exactly? I know where WRT the M, but when will I feel free.
Better go - two sick girls that keep waking up when they are asleep and grizzling when they r e awake. No doubt adding to my stress levels ATM. Going to try to meditate for 15 minutes before I crash from exhaustion. Being a single parent has its moments.
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
Thank you for your words of encouragement, Py. Sorry this sux for you too.
More bizarre Behaviour from H today. Came back from GAL, with PMA and lightly touched H legs, he was lying on the sofa to say hi. Went into the garden with a glass of wine.
Came back watched a bit of television then H switches it to Top Gear in Vietnam he explains because we were there last year that's why he wanted to watch it! ?????
That was our 20th Anniversay holiday where we had a celebration at Ha Long bay where the presenters were. I know major mind reading but I would of kept clear of anything that related to us. Called me Darling again, and said good night Smothy, in a pleasant manner. Coincidence??
Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18 EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13 Move to work abroad Sept 14 re establish contact with OW while away D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15
. This really sux doesn't it. I've been down for the lsat few days. Not outwardly, so I guess it isn't really that bad. I know it isn't as bad as it was a few months ago. Have had the sickness that I felt back then, just in flashes, so I know where it is coming from, I just want it to go away.