My H may be paying for my son to come here for the weekend.
H just called to say I forgot my wallet. I will pay for his ticket, but I have to go to my room and call in his reservation.
I asked if he was having a good day. He said yes. I told him I appreciated him doing this for me. I also said if it didn't happen, it wasn't meant to happen. He said he would go to his room and make the call to make the reservation. He then asked when it had to be made by and I said by about 4:30. I said thank you. I really appreciate you doing this for me. I told him my dad had been emailing me. I also said I was teaching him about attachments, but that I was having a hard time sending a photo because our connection was not too good. Then, I said I better let you go, you're at work. He said yeah, I gotta get back to work. I said thanks again...have a good day. He said yeah, ok. You bet.
Now, he hadn't made the reservation for me. He intended to go back to his room to do it. So, why did he call then? Just to tell me he forgot his wallet?
Maybe I can still db a little? At least so that we can be friends...I don't have much hope for more than that right now.
It just started snowing here. My dad is learning to email and I am bored to tears. I don't want to go to town until I know whether or not my son is coming today. If he is, then I have to go pick him up in a cab....so I'd rather not pay for two cabs in one day.
Guess all I can do is wait and see. It really does matter.
Thanks, DFB. I am trying hard not to get too depressed.
My son should be here in about two hours! I bought dye to color EASTER eggs...since I won't see him for EASTER. I know it is a month away, but this will be my last chance to spend time with him until after I am out of treatment...which will be 30 days at least.
I had a fight with his Great Aunt. They had plans for son to spend a night there tonight. My plans changed when I realized that son could take a bus here. It took all day to arrange it...and by the time son called Great Aunt (GA) and Great Uncle (GU) they were already coming to pick him up. GA got very mad and told me I was very inconsiderate. I didn't do anything on purpose to hurt anyone...sheesh...all I want to do is spend some time with my son.
I ended up hanging up on GA...in a huff. This stinks as I really like GA and Gu. Will give it some cooling off time and then call them. I think she owes me an apology and I owe her one, too...but I bet I end up being the only one to say I'm sorry.
H called again. He said that the ticket was paid for and told me what it cost. I said thanks so very much. I offered to pay him back and he said he didn't care about the cost. I told him thank you again. H said he was in his room. Then, once again, I said...well, I guess you need to get back to work...H said yeah, I've got to get back to the shop and we got off the phone.
I am doing pretty well at not trying to keep him on the phone when he calls. I think this is confusing him a bit. It's a definite 180 for me.
So, anyway, made son an EASTER basket, too. What the heck, huh? Might as well go the whole nine yards.
LoL....I am in a very good mood. PMA is soaring. Now, let's hope son shows up or I may crash!
No, if son doesn't show up...I will eat all the candy and color eggs all by myself. What the heck! If that doesn't make me feel good, I don't know what will....
I read your email of questions and wondered what the heck you were doing - then it dawned on me that it was your list of excuses. If someone didn't read my post they would think you had lost your mind!
I really think that your H cares for you but had reached a point that he didn't know what to do. He has shaken you to the core and that has put you in action. YOu are facing up to everything and moving forward. If you keep up DBing, the future just may surprise you....and him. Just let him call all he wants - you're not calling him. Funny how that works.
I would bet your pubic defender could plea you down a bit in your sentence or get it changed to community service. Have you ever thought that maybe your writing gift could benefit young people? Tell the judge that you will write a script for a video discouraging alcohol use and write matching materials (brochures, discussion guide, etc) to go with it. Tell him you will speak to schools about your experiences so they might avoid finding themselves in a similar situation. Not only would a judge be impressed by your initiative, but others would benefit as well.
Hey - do Easter a month early. Last week my S3 insisted on making cupcakes for his birthday (it's in August) that were decorated with black and orange for Halloween. Then he insisted that we put a candle on one and light it and sing Happy Birthday to him at dinner time. The next day he told me it wasn't really a party because people who didn't live in our house weren't there....so knock yourself out on whatever holiday you want to celebrate!
You didn't like my suggestion about writing your own book? Or just journal for yourself? If you are bored, can you sign up for an Internet-based class of some sort? If you want to renew your teaching license, see what the state board of education offers on-line. I bet they offer something and it may not cost all that much either.
Have fun with your son. I am sure that GA and GU were disappointed, but let it settle a bit and then maybe call while your s is there and apologize and then let him tell them that he will spend a night with them sometime soon. When they realize that this will be your last chance to see him for a little while, they are likely to understand.
So if you are coloring eggs and making a basket, are you having an easter egg hunt too? Go for it!
Have a great weekend!
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
You didn't like my suggestion about writing your own book? Or just journal for yourself? If you are bored, can you sign up for an Internet-based class of some sort? If you want to renew your teaching license, see what the state board of education offers on-line. I bet they offer something and it may not cost all that much either.
This is something I just missed commenting on...I think it's a great idea and I do think I need to start a journal. I need to renew my teaching certificate and get things rolling that way, so that I can support myself and my son.
I would bet your pubic defender could plea you down a bit in your sentence or get it changed to community service. Have you ever thought that maybe your writing gift could benefit young people? Tell the judge that you will write a script for a video discouraging alcohol use and write matching materials (brochures, discussion guide, etc) to go with it. Tell him you will speak to schools about your experiences so they might avoid finding themselves in a similar situation. Not only would a judge be impressed by your initiative, but others would benefit as well.
This is a great idea. I am going to try to run it by the public defender. What the heck? It's sure worth a try, and I am willing to go for it!
My S is here in town! He will be here in a few minutes. I'm going to get ready for him to arrive. I just got the phone call. Woooooooooohoooooooooooooooo! Totite.....Thanks for all your input! Hugs, Akgal
You seem to be in a very good place again. You are doing great in not ringing or pursuing your H. I am sure if you let the dust settle that your GA and GU will understand the situation. Perhaps you can send them a couple of Easter eggs through your S?
Do think up a project of some sort for yourself. You seem to have lots to offer, re: writing, cooking, mothering skills. I have started cooking classes (cuisine of my country of origin) in my home and they are great fun, they allow me to meet people and bring in some money too! And they boost the self esteem. It converts what may be seen as a mere domestic chore into something that is a SKILL and a MONEY EARNER!!
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
Son and I had a great evening together. Made chocolate chip cookies...gave him his Easter basket, ate lemon chicken, and fell asleep watching cartoons in master bedroom together....
Slept 'til 9:30...now up and posting this brief "hello, gang"message...
Will not call H again today...the beep yesterday was brief and to the point...mostly a polite thing to do. Didn't expect a response, didn't get one. Just let him know son made it here ok and that I appreciated his help in making that happen.
Saying thank you is a big 180 for me. I was pretty selfish and self centered.
Will spend time with son...will hope Saturday doesn't fly by (as opposed to fearing it would drag slowly by if I was all alone) and will try to let son do as he pleases...see friends, etc. Not be too needy with son...he is almost 13...and he doesn't want to just hang out with his mamma...
LL...congratulations on your cooking lessons! What a great idea! I don't know if I am ready to start anything right now...time being short before treatment and court...but afterwards...what a great idea. I could easily give writing lessons....poetry workshops, nonfiction seminars....YEAH.
I am in a better much more Positive frame of mind today. One day at a time...ST. Rita is helping me to deal with things I believed were impossible to deal with.
As for me and H, I am just trying to be his friend. I asked him if we could at least do that much...try to be friends. After 10 years together and almost seven years of marriage...it's the least we should be able to do.
I bought dye to color EASTER eggs...since I won't see him for EASTER. I know it is a month away, but this will be my last chance to spend time with him until after I am out of treatment...which will be 30 days at least. 