Ripken - WW filed for divorce and I'm moved out #4

[Ripken8]

Ok. That makes sense. Why would Sandi say "nooooooooo" then?

[Wonka]

I think your lips need to form into a round pucker and say, "Nooooooooooo"!

Rip, your W lost the right to just come and go from your house when she blew up your family. Don't give her the damn key.

[Ripken8]

Let me clarify: ww would NOT be getting a key. My kids would have a key. They already have a key for her place. She is wanting the ability to pick them up when she is off at 3:30 and have them lock the place up when they leave.

It's hard to think logically how to tell her no. "I don't want to make a copy and give it to them"? It just sounds controlling.

I'm fine with telling her no, just not sure why.

[Wonka]

Ah, I understand this better. Do your kids live with you as the primary parent...right? Draft your response here, Rip. We can work with you on this.

[Ripken8]

We have 50/50 so 2 weekday days with me, 2 with her and alternate weekends.

I'm not really sure what to say. Her point (without mind reading) is that she wants the boys the minute she's off work. So whether that's me dropping them off on my way to work that day (when she's not there) and still being able to lock my house or her picking them up on her way home (when I'm not there) and giving them a key, she's fine with either.

I've always been fine with them having and using their key they have to the house when they would walk home from school, so hard to now say I have a problem with them having a key to my place.

Really not sure how to approach it

[Wonka]

Rip,

I want to be clear on this.

Kids have their own keys to Mom's house, right?
Kids currently do not have keys to YOUR house, right?

If that ^^ is correct, then why don't they have keys to your house? They are 11 and 8 which makes them responsible enough to have their own set of keys. I had my own set of keys at that age.

What seems to be the problem here?

[Ripken8]

That is correct. They don't have keys to my place because it's an apartment and there's no place for them to really go when I'm not there. Just haven't given them one.

I guess my issue is not whether or not they have the keys, it's that I'm not really liking the idea of my ww dropping them off and driving away without any interaction and then picking them up when I'm not home and having them lock it.

The part I'm not happy with is zero interaction. I get that we do db for us and drop the rope for us. But if that's truly the case, why the aspect of looking, smelling and acting your best in those interactions. Why have interactions at all? So they can see the changes, right.

While if I agree to this, ww will never see those changes.

[Vapo]

Rip, dude, so you just lock the kids inside and go to work? What if there is an emergency or a fire?

Are you sure about this?

[Ripken8]

They have a cell phone that they can and do call my ww or me - we check in on them daily too. They have stayed home by themselves for the last 2-3 years. They know where to go to in my apartment in case of fire and for emergencies have the phone.

Quite sure about the boys when I'm at work, but I think we're getting off topic here . . .

[Vapo]

None of my beeswax, but locking your kids without a key is a big nono in my book. With that in mind I would let the WAW take the kids, but not allow her in the apartment itself.

So kids have a key and they lock up after themselves and go with the waw. The kids will want their own keys any day now anyway...