The END Hopefully they live happily ever after....

[DFE]

Thanks PP

I'm having to fight the urge to ask him to meet with me so he can confirm the A to my face. I'm not sure what that will solve. It may even set me back but for some reason I need to know.

[DFE]

I have the urge to text my Ex H and tell him we need to speak. I dont know why but I need confirmation that he cheated on me. He has always turned everything around on me and blamed me for a lot of stuff. I have carried a lot of guilt but I think this would help me. I know we are divorced but he keeps coming back cake eating and I need to know for my own sanity. I just think it may send me over the edge. He may even ignore me because he is "mad" at me right now for not wanting him to stay here while I was out of town. That's exactly what I mean. He pushes it all back on me.

Anybody been divorced but confronted their ex? Is there a point? Can anyone give me guidance? I am losing my mind. I don't know why I am consumed by this stuff. I have a life and a great career I need to focus on and my brain knows that but something is foggy with me and I can't seem to stop and get away from this all.

[Cadet]

I have the urge to text my Ex H and tell him we need to speak. I dont know why but I need confirmation that he cheated on me

I dont see the point,
I will tell you he cheated on YOU,

Let GO, and now that you are divorced
is it really cheating?

My own opinion is to do nothing and at some point in the future all will be revealed to you.
At that point you probably won't care any more.

[mahhhty]

I have the urge to text my Ex H and tell him we need to speak. I dont know why but I need confirmation that he cheated on me

I dont see the point,
I will tell you he cheated on YOU,

Let GO, and now that you are divorced
is it really cheating?

My own opinion is to do nothing and at some point in the future all will be revealed to you.
At that point you probably won't care any more.

Isn't that the truth. But often is very difficult to consistently implement.

[DFE]

Cadet

You are right. He is free to do what he wants now but when it happened we were married. My biggest issue is he turns everything around to make it my fault. I want him to stop walking around like he's wounded and own up to it.

I also own a business that he still works at and now he won't communicate with me. I have stuff in limbo waiting to be done. AND I'm tired of the silent treatment. He has used it as a way to shut me up for too long. Don't I get to finally find my voice again?

[Cadet]

I also own a business that he still works at and now he won't communicate with me. I have stuff in limbo waiting to be done. AND I'm tired of the silent treatment. He has used it as a way to shut me up for too long. Don't I get to finally find my voice again?

I am all for you having your own voice.
I just don't expect him to cooperate.

If he won't do work at YOUR business then what would you do if he was another employee that refused to work?

My opinion is to speak with actions and not words.
Don't expect anything from him.

Keep moving forward with what is best for YOU.

[DFE]

Cadet

I'm. It expecting him to cooperate but I also know him well enough to know when he is lying.

I'm working on getting a replacement for him so that we can sever the business tie. That will take some stress off of me.

Will you tell me what you mean to speak with action and not words? We have two kids. He is telling me that he is taking the, away for a trip in two weeks. The longer this goes on the harder it will be with the kids. I need communication and clarity about my kids and their plans. He can't keep walking around pouting like a child when I've done nothing.

[Cadet]

I'm working on getting a replacement for him so that we can sever the business tie. That will take some stress off of me.

This is an action

I also know him well enough to know when he is lying.

My guess is if his lips are moving he is lying.

We have two kids. He is telling me that he is taking the, away for a trip in two weeks. The longer this goes on the harder it will be with the kids. I need communication and clarity about my kids and their plans. He can't keep walking around pouting like a child when I've done nothing.

He can and he will if you let him.
A matter of fact I would EXPECT him to continue to do it.
What is agreed upon in your divorce?
If he has 50/50 custody then during his time their is
not much you can CONTROL.

[DFE]

I have primary physical custody. He has them 1.5 days a week plus an additional 21 days that need to be mutually agreed upon. I'm. Not allowing him to just tell me when he takes the kids. They have camp and he needs to give me advanced notice to see what days work for them.

I think what it comes down to is I'm sick and tired of the silent treatment. He can't shut me up when it's not convenient for him to speak. This isn't his first time. And I'm the idiot that's ready to talk as soon as he is ready to speak again. It's a pattern. I'm tired of it. We are divorced. You can't just ignore me like I'm garbage.

[mahhhty]

DFE - I hear you and struggle with the same things, in a slightly different situation. All I ask is that you try to remember that you enabled his behavior. So if you are upset that he is ignoring you, remember that part of that reaction was created by you. Obviously, I'm not saying to take full responsibility for his actions. What I am saying is if you aren't getting the result you want, try something different. Look at the problem from a different view.