For me, I likened it to seeing Alaska. I know it's out there somewhere, but I can't see it from my house. If I start walking that way, I'll eventually see it, but I don't need to worry about that.
I've accepted that there may be a day when I'm ready to move on with my life without my W. Today Me has no idea on Earth I'll be able to do that. But I know that as I live my life day by day, I will eventually reach that point.
Lots of heavy stuff on the boards today.
I chuckled when I read this bit about Alaska. I would love to see Alaska but it's a hell of a hike from Florida!
I agree. Lots of real talk on the board today.
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
That's good though and why I love coming here and hearing from all of you. I get real answers and experiences from people that understand. Fears, concerns, irrational things - I'm never judged. Everyone here seems to have my best interest at heart and are impartial. Not like friends, family or even at times ic.
This group fills a void and gives me piece I can't find anywhere else. Thank you all more than I can say.
M-33 W-33 S-11, S-8 M-11, T-14 BD - 12/26, Divorce Filing and admits to affair (her) 4/18 I moved out 5/23
That's good though and why I love coming here and hearing from all of you. I get real answers and experiences from people that understand. Fears, concerns, irrational things - I'm never judged. Everyone here seems to have my best interest at heart and are impartial. Not like friends, family or even at times ic.
This group fills a void and gives me piece I can't find anywhere else. Thank you all more than I can say.
Can't agree with this sentiment more. Feels like a second family that actually understands what I'm going through.
GAL activities for the week (aside from working out 4-5 times): TUES - softball league WED - Meetup group, should be fun THURS - Going out to eat with a friend FRI-SUN - Have the boys for the weekend SAT - Boys will be with my sister during evening, have a Bachelor party with 20-30 of my college friends
Should be a nice couple of days. Overall, I'm proud of keeping busy and my GAL. I've connected with a lot of old friends and made several new ones. It HAS helped because all I would do without these activities is wonder why ww doesn't interact and what she's doing. I know past experience AND recent past tell me that she "follows my lead", so if/when I go dark/distant, she assumes I need space and leaves me alone. Especially after I gave her the key to the house, without a fight - but I disgress from mind reading.
In my downtime, normally right before bed I do thinking about if I want ww back and what I would need. Still several questions I don't know the answer to and moot for a while down the road, if ever. I have a meeting with my IC THURS, so that should help process things.
But aside from GAL activities, my go tos are still the same: work on my self esteem, stay dark, be the best father I can be and rediscover what I enjoy doing - have fun.
M-33 W-33 S-11, S-8 M-11, T-14 BD - 12/26, Divorce Filing and admits to affair (her) 4/18 I moved out 5/23
Rip, I thnk you have a good plan going forward. Stay consistent and focuse.
As always, your GAL list is impressive. I have to say, I'm a little jealous of the softball league. I've been wanting to join a softball league for years. Maybe if our parenting schedule ever gets semi-regular, I could get into that.
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
Well, this week has been good. Having a down moment as its starting to hit that it's coming to a close. Here's some of the positives and gal moments:
-Tuesday had softball and then drinks with teammates afterwards. Won both games.
-Wed went to a meet up group and made some more new acquaintances. This group is interesting and comfortable.
-Thursday went out with a new friend I made at the party last week. She's fun and we have some things in common. It's was a fun time, but I'm not looking to date her or anyone. Still a lot of work to do on me.
-also Thursday saw my ic. Have been seeing her weekly since right before everything started to go south, so more than 7 months. She said that she is very pleased with my progress, plan, care of myself and she advocated we now only meet once a month, if that. She said aside from time, there's not much more she can do and feels I'm already applying all the tools I could. That was nice to hear.
-Friday got an email that I passed the Mensa test I took last week and was accepted into the American Mensa association. That was a nice self esteem boost.
-Saturday went to a bachelor party for one of my college fraternity brothers. There were 25 of us there and some I hadn't seem in 15 years. Was a blast and great trip down memory lane.
-today picked up the boys for the rest of today. Kinda feeling sad the weekend is over and also missing ww. Not sure if it's really ww I miss or just the concept of having someone to come home to who misses me and wants to share their life with me. I'm sure the couple weddings I'll be going solo to this summer will be tough. Also, haven't had a conversation about anything with ww since i moved out more than 2 weeks ago.not sure that I want to with her, but again I miss that someone.
M-33 W-33 S-11, S-8 M-11, T-14 BD - 12/26, Divorce Filing and admits to affair (her) 4/18 I moved out 5/23
